Poll Poll For Uniformed Personel

[Ruth09]

Fine,...since you want to hear it.

My experiences with civilians were similar. I felt like I was a freak. Civilians would be all smiles and ask me questions for which they would get answers that weren't candy coated. They would give me a look like I just killed their puppy and walk off quickly.

So, I never singled out any one civilian as being inadequate. They all were.
Now that I'm out of uniform, do I still hold that opinion? Yep.

If people actually got to know me, as a friend, I'd give them the shirt off my back. How many friends do I have? 5
All military.

Civilians are usually too busy with their own lives to care about what is happening with the rest of the world. They also don't want to hear how I truely feel.



 

[angel2write]

Not all uniformed personnel are men. just saying.

Yeah I know- that's why I put in the bit here:

(including women in uniform and police)

It just wouldn't all fit in the space given for the poll question. Hope I didn't make anybody feel left out...

 

[angel2write]


Civilians are usually too busy with their own lives to care about what is happening with the rest of the world. They also don't want to hear how I truely feel.



Yeah, Ruth- it does kind of sound like you have my problem, but in reverse. I've seen that kind of clannishness that military people form. And a lot of it is natural. You guys go through stuff that civilians can't even imagine. And it is natural that you would feel more comfortable and make friends with people who have similar backgrounds, experiences, etc. Thanks for being honest with me. Sometimes the truth hurts, but it also heals.

 

[AngelaMarie]

Fine,...since you want to hear it.
Civilians are usually too busy with their own lives to care about what is happening with the rest of the world. They also don't want to hear how I truely feel.



I am sorry you feel that way. I have a son and daughter-in-law in the U.S. Navy, an uncle that served in World War II. If I am considered a civilian I can tell what my views are and maybe I won't be considered a loser.

Shame on anyone who doesn't have respect for the people who serve to protect countries and families.

 

[angel2write]

I changed my mind about what I was going to say.

 

[AngelaMarie]

angel2write, you have every right to say how you feel. I hope you know my comment wasn't about you feeling abused. It was about the civilian comment. Your opinion is always important. (((Hugs))). I think your poll shows much courage. It just seems when it comes to these subjects we all get a little too emotional??? Maybe this should be in politics now??;)

 

[charliehotelwhiskey]

First of all. Angel it took real courage to post this poll. Its your poll and you have the right to say how you feel.

I didn't vote because I am not the person that I was.

But I was in uniform working for a corporation. If I saw you in a line with children I would have been indifferent. You would be just one of them. Sorry for sounding harsh. Back then it was us (the security team) against them (the people). Even the staff in the other departments was considered "them". We were the ones that had to deal with the conflicts, the crimes, and the (censored) stuff that people brought in with them. We only socialized with our group. No outsiders weclomed with the exception of the first responders (police, paramedics, and firefighters). We had our special hangouts on the property and off the property.

After I left and moved away to another town. I basically had to reprogramed myself to the person that I am now.

Reading this poll really brought out some feelings in me. More issues to deal with.

 

[AngelaMarie]

Reading some of the reactions on this thread changed my idealist view. I have to remove myself. I wish you all well.

 

[angel2write]

If I saw you in a line with children I would have been indifferent. You would be just one of them. Sorry for sounding harsh. Back then it was us (the security team) against them (the people). Even the staff in the other departments was considered "them".

Don't apologize for this. This is the truth. What you and Ruth09 are saying is what I have seen, felt and heard both on and off base many times over the years. And I don't want to argue with that or shame you in any way for feeling that way. A lot of that is just the way it is for someone in the kind of profession (military, police, security guard, prison guard) that pits you against human enemies. And it is understandable.

Unfortunately, my reaction is overlaid by the experience of running into not just Marines, but child-raping Marines. Not just police, but police who were willing to keep a girl handcuffed to a bed for a week as a toy. Every time I meet a uniform, my panic trigger flips. And I am trying to learn how to unflip it. That's all.

I am surrounded by military men and women. Two of our immediate neighbors, both my son's cub scout leaders, half the members of our church and a good third of our homeschooling group are military. They are mostly good, kind people (though I think one of our neighbors is a troubled man) and I just want to learn to breathe around them. Preferably without ever letting them know what a dip-shit reaction I have to them.

 

[angel2write]

angel2write, you have every right to say how you feel. . It just seems when it comes to these subjects we all get a little too emotional??? Maybe this should be in politics now??;)

Relax- don't be too paranoid! I just realized after I got done typing, that I had misunderstood something. And there is no "delete" key on this forum. If you start a stupid post, you're just stuck with it. I wasn't upset with anyone.

 

[Kintsugi]

My experiences with civilians were similar. I felt like I was a freak. Civilians would be all smiles and ask me questions for which they would get answers that weren't candy coated. They would give me a look like I just killed their puppy and walk off quickly.

Hm. Ruth, no disrespect you your unique experience in a field that I have no experience in, but this is what living with PTSD and my past has felt like to me. I had a darkness that those around me, particularly my peers (who are barely out of being teenagers mostly), could not grasp, understand, fathom. I had a sensibility that was shocking to them, hurtful, brash, nasty... they mistook my honest life view for a deliberate attempt to step on their hearts, or so it seemed from the expressions and reactions I got. These days I have learned to switch modes on a spectrum of honesty, filters if you will. It took me a long time to try and break down the dichotomy between "us" and "them," though, and the "us" was myself and the abused and traumatized whom I've known, several of them soldiers who simply connected to me on the level of PTSD and undergoing trauma in extraordinary circumstances that the greater population around me has not endured.

I hope you do not feel that this is disrespectful to your particular station in your field. I do not presume to understand you. I just relate to the feelings quoted above deeply.

 

[charliehotelwhiskey]

And I don't want to argue with that or shame you in any way for feeling that way.

That was the way I felt. I'm ashame for having been that way. But that was the old me.

Now, if I saw you in a line with children I would not think indifferently of you. You are not weak, or useless, or unimportant. You are raising children to become respectful and productive members of society. That is a very important job.