Possible Sexual Abuse??

[Copper Stope]

Ooops, sorry. Backstory: I'm a dinosaur software developer because I transitioned from being a COBOL programmer, to a tech. writer and I did not keep up with new languages. But the basic concept of user-friendly design is something many programmers are taught. They're geeks that learn quickly and they're good at quick and dirty programming. The dirty meaning they don't design user-friendly and modualarized code that's easy to maintain - but I think that has to do with job security - they're the only ones who understand how it's written.

Nutshell point: Being that posting fonts and colours is restricted to the Chit Chat forum only, Then the programmer should have designed a driver that flags the Chit Chat module to be the exclusive forum allowing text formating.

It's not good customer service to admonish a 'victim' for expressing a courageous positive emotion. People who visit this site can't find safety otherwise. The policies and mission of the PTSD Forum are created empower people and help them 'heal'.

It's Okay Anthony, you're only doing your job, but it is counter productive to your organization and to the 'guests' who come to this site to find refuge to find out the only value one could find in my posting is that it broke a formating rule. I was expressing my determination to win. I forgive. But from a business perspective this glitch in the system causes too much overhead because I know if I'm guilty others are too. It is also sending the wrong message to other readers. They would not want to be in my shoes because even though I am Okay and forgiving, it's taking work to process the pain out of my body.

I logged on today specifically to ask you a question about victimization in the workplace. I was going to ask you if I could put myself in another person's point of view, what would be revealed about my behavior that would indicate I could easily be victimized. At this point, I believe I got my answer when I saw your comment about the text formatting crime. I was looking for validation and for support, which I was denied any positive response, only that I used text formatting to my detriment.

That is a formating rule problem that belongs to the software designers.

 

[Copper Stope]

Anthony, I apologize for taking the formatting issue personally. It turned out to be a very helpful experience because I'm preparing for a second interview and I need to be positively focused and I am.

In the workplace, everyday, at any time something can cause one to loose their balance and control. That's what happened to me when I saw the formatting posting.

I used what could be defined as a negative experience as an opportunity to learn and practice positive behavior. When I realized I took things too personally is when I became ashamed because I was concerned about having hurt your feelings. I am very sorry for reacting how I did.

It is my rule and policy to not react to something that creates a prickly feeling, but only to analyze it and find the truth in the experience, then if I need to 'respond', I will, appropriately.

I feel I made valid points in the previous posting, but the problem with it is that I was coming from a 'feel sorry for myself' perspective and that is wrong.

Sincerely,

Copper Stope

 

[Copper Stope]

What does possible sexual abuse mean? This term, to me, implies that someone who feels miserable has to find a reason to justify their suffering. Do people suffer simply out of boredom or some other superficial reason.

Possible Sexual Abuse is an oxymoron. The word 'possible' implies superficial. Sexual abuse is torture - a very severe 'experience'. Can an 'experience' be something defined as a possible or indefinite, imaginable thought.

Too vague, too wishy-washy. Look, PTSD is real, therefore people have real feelings and everybody is aware, albeit in some circumstances, at a subconscious level of the 'truth'. Don't cloud people's thinking with terms like 'possible'. Have conviction, for Pete's sale. Stop the f*)W* mind games.

Sexual Abuse - When one has anxiety and disturbing feelings triggered by situations of thoughts of a frightening nature that negatively affects one's sense of sexual/sensuality.

Basically, if you are experiencing relationship problems that trigger your sexual energy some how, someway than you have been sexually abused. No ifs ands or buts about it. Identify the problem. If it has impacted your sexuality than your have been sexually abused.

Acknowledge what you know; trust your gut, it would lie. And sincerely forgive all of it, totally. Just get rid of all of the emotion - guilt, shame, anger, etc. What ever it is, it is what it is - confront what it is -You are bigger, stronger, and right. Take back your dignity. Love yourself, lover thoses. Live and love it - an work it takes, it is what it is.

 

[anthony]

What does possible sexual abuse mean? This term, to me, implies that someone who feels miserable has to find a reason to justify their suffering.

Well... what if you have a life of sexual abuse, but only a snippet of a memory for a "possible" other event. Did the event happen, or has your mind created the event from something else you already know about?

The complexities of memory surpass the simplicity you are referring towards. Do you tell yourself you have been sexually abused again with one memory fragment that came to you in the middle of the night? It tells nothing else, but say a somatic pain in your vagina and a fleeting memory of a wall. Do you do as you have stated, by trusting your gut? You have a memory of a wall, maybe even a smell, and a somatic pain in your vagina. Have you been sexually abused? When? Where? How? Tell me more? Do you just make the rest up to tell yourself you have experienced something that you cannot remember? Do you disregard it or even associate it with something you do remember? Is the memory part of another event that you experienced and know more about, but cannot associate this event memory with?

What is the answer?