blondegirlindistress
New Here
Ok so this is a fairly long story so please forgive me but I'm at a complete loss on where to go and what to do.
I'm 19 and live in the UK. My (ex?) partner is in the RAF. I am VERY proud girlie of my man and would run to the ends of the earth for him if I had too. I love him with every last inch of me and support him as much as I can and I'm more than happy to wait for him when he goes away with work or deploys. Thats never been an issue.
In July last year at the age of 21 he was deployed on his first tour of Afghanistan. We agreed we were strong enough to take on the challenge and we were even excited about it. We were very serious when he left and we spoke about rings and houses and settling when he got home. He left in july and in september I left for my first year of university. All was well and we spoke most days (maybe a mistake?) we were great. Lovely emails and messages and phone calls blah blah. Then one week around late october early Nov' he started to seem distant. I put it down to work and just continued, I got a little worried and probably quite needy admittedly.
Anyway a couple of weeks later he just disappeared of the radar. No calls no texts no nothing. Obviously I was frantic with worry and didn't know what was up. I thought we were over, then a week later out the blue I get a phone call (welling up just thinking about it) and he says he's been busy and stuff happened but we will be ok. Since then it was was just a downward spiral.
Long story short he finished the relationship within a week of him coming home. He had odd behaviour out there and upon his home coming, for example he bought a car of ebay while out there and then chucked all his clothes out and bought new ones upon coming home ( he had never shown interest in dressing nice before he left) then the rash decision of finishing a year and a half long relationship. He started to go out a lot more clubbing. He changed so much. We still spoke and flirted etc. The longest since new year we have gone without speaking too each other was a month and he was seeing a girl he met while over there. That was just a fling and he soon came back to me. We have agreed to try and work things out but he keeps having these funny phases where he will want to see me, see me and be my old G then he won't speak to me for a few days. He keeps saying things like I don't know what I want and such like.
It could be me stabbing in the dark but his behaviour has changed so much since coming home, he won't leave base to go see his family much anymore, he has these odd spells with me, he twitches like mad as he's falling asleep, he throws himself into projects and won't stay still or relax, he seems really on edge at times biting his fingers which he only did occasionally before he left. He gambles a fair bit. He's not sensible with his money. All these little things are slowly adding up and I really feel he has the signs of PTSD?
And before anyone says "oh he's in the RAF he wouldn't have seen anything" really don't bother saying that because he was sent on ops a lot and would have had plenty of chances to see things happen. He has told me he saw things but obviously can not say what.
All I want to do is help him, I want to get all my facts in order before I decide the next step. So please if anyone can help me I would be so grateful. I just want to help him feel himself again. Even if you don't think he has PTSD then just pipe up as I could be wrong! Any help of advice could save us...
If you have read all of this thank you so much you have no idea how much it means... xxx
I'm 19 and live in the UK. My (ex?) partner is in the RAF. I am VERY proud girlie of my man and would run to the ends of the earth for him if I had too. I love him with every last inch of me and support him as much as I can and I'm more than happy to wait for him when he goes away with work or deploys. Thats never been an issue.
In July last year at the age of 21 he was deployed on his first tour of Afghanistan. We agreed we were strong enough to take on the challenge and we were even excited about it. We were very serious when he left and we spoke about rings and houses and settling when he got home. He left in july and in september I left for my first year of university. All was well and we spoke most days (maybe a mistake?) we were great. Lovely emails and messages and phone calls blah blah. Then one week around late october early Nov' he started to seem distant. I put it down to work and just continued, I got a little worried and probably quite needy admittedly.
Anyway a couple of weeks later he just disappeared of the radar. No calls no texts no nothing. Obviously I was frantic with worry and didn't know what was up. I thought we were over, then a week later out the blue I get a phone call (welling up just thinking about it) and he says he's been busy and stuff happened but we will be ok. Since then it was was just a downward spiral.
Long story short he finished the relationship within a week of him coming home. He had odd behaviour out there and upon his home coming, for example he bought a car of ebay while out there and then chucked all his clothes out and bought new ones upon coming home ( he had never shown interest in dressing nice before he left) then the rash decision of finishing a year and a half long relationship. He started to go out a lot more clubbing. He changed so much. We still spoke and flirted etc. The longest since new year we have gone without speaking too each other was a month and he was seeing a girl he met while over there. That was just a fling and he soon came back to me. We have agreed to try and work things out but he keeps having these funny phases where he will want to see me, see me and be my old G then he won't speak to me for a few days. He keeps saying things like I don't know what I want and such like.
It could be me stabbing in the dark but his behaviour has changed so much since coming home, he won't leave base to go see his family much anymore, he has these odd spells with me, he twitches like mad as he's falling asleep, he throws himself into projects and won't stay still or relax, he seems really on edge at times biting his fingers which he only did occasionally before he left. He gambles a fair bit. He's not sensible with his money. All these little things are slowly adding up and I really feel he has the signs of PTSD?
And before anyone says "oh he's in the RAF he wouldn't have seen anything" really don't bother saying that because he was sent on ops a lot and would have had plenty of chances to see things happen. He has told me he saw things but obviously can not say what.
All I want to do is help him, I want to get all my facts in order before I decide the next step. So please if anyone can help me I would be so grateful. I just want to help him feel himself again. Even if you don't think he has PTSD then just pipe up as I could be wrong! Any help of advice could save us...
If you have read all of this thank you so much you have no idea how much it means... xxx
