Relationship Preparing To Be Closed Out

[Melly13]

Morning,
I am preping myself to be closed out. My dear friend is going thru a very difficult time and is on verge of loosing his home. He had called me last night to make sure I knew what was going on and that he wasn't trying to ignore me and close me out. His home is going for auction today unless he is able to again stop the process. We are not friend on social media but sometime when I miss him i look at his picture and I notice last night he had blocked me from facebook. It's facebook who really cares. but I am confused why? I know he trust and values me very much so. I know that he closes off the people that are closest to him. Do you think it's easier for him not to want to I guess look at me? think about me/ He had said many times he does not want to hurt me. And I am learning his triggers and knew that when this day came to be ready. I sent him a text this AM telling him what I always do and that he is strong and sending good thought and am right here for him. I relize now maybe his phone call was to hear my voice and prep me for a shut down and to remind me it's not personal. What he is going thru is tough enough in addition to the PTSD. I am new 9 month into learning about PTSD.
why do you think it is easier for survivors to close off the one closest to you?

 

[Bloomy]

Beacause in most cases people close us up? Sooner or later? They give up and give in? Only for a borrowed amount of time?

Thanks anyway for posting here that you care about your friend and that you are concerned. Makes me belive you actually mean what you say. That you actually care. And thats a rare thing.

 

[desiderata310]

you sure he didn't just shut off Facebook? I recently did that and confused a bunch of people

 

[Melly13]

Beacause in most cases people close us up? Sooner or later? They give up and give in? Only for a borrowe...

Thank you. Yes I truly do. I am a fixer type. I can fix this nor him. And getting to know him and about him has made me such a better person.

 

[Melly13]

you sure he didn't just shut off Facebook? I recently did that and confused a bunch of people[/QU...

yes I am 100% positive I have been blocked. I could care less like I said It's facebook. we weren't FB friends. I'm just confused as why take that additional step. To distance himself from me Is all I can think

 

[Bloomy]

Yeah I did some dramatic thing like this one I was hurting the worst. Didnt answer telephone nor door nor nothing. Cause in my pain I didnt belive anyone truly cared. Those that where supposed to be freinds. I was right do. They couldnt handle. Still say it was a sad test and almost wish I kept pretending instead.

 

[Melly13]

Thank you. Yes I truly do. I am a fixer type. I can fix this nor him. And getting to know him and about...

Let me rephrase this.. I know can not fix him nor do I want to. Just support

 

[Melly13]

Yeah I did some dramatic thing like this one I was hurting the worst. Didnt answer telephone nor door no...

True friends are hard to come by in any situation. I myself have lost many friends who could understand my way of healing after a difficult time as well.
Last time I was "closed out" I would just remind him I was there. But I push because I was not fully understand yet. Still learning. But I know the buttons not to press. I almost feel as this will be a challenge in trust as well. He let me back in once. However I am hoping that it doesn't come to this. I am hoping by some miracle he is able to save his home. All I truly want is him to be happy. He has lost so much already from mistrust etc. I don't suffer but have been thru a lot of trauma in my life to understand what it feels like no one has your back.

 

[Bloomy]

@Melly13 thanks for encouragment indirectly to not let myself down this time even do times seems hard. Be brave and hold on so Ill not loose all again - I truly want to me ok.

And also an insight on how hurt we can be with our ptsd - little black humor here its almost like "my precious".

They also say that fellowship has disappeared with the neo modern society so belive that this is partly reason why things gets like they do. We live in societies where each for its own and egos are vunerable and selfies confirm that we are good enough.

 

[Melly13]

@Melly13 thanks for encouragment indirectly to not let myself down this time even do...

aww your welcome. Well I have not heard from him yet but saw an update online his house auction has been positioned. sigh of relief for him..
I don't know what will happen from here but I am going to give him space until he reaches out..I guess I may never fully understand why close off and its very hard not to take personal but I am learning alot from this man.
as My ex used to say to me "it's not about you Mell"
I can only feel blessed from his presence in my life as well. I wish I could tell him all this. with out fear.

 

[Bloomy]

I hope hed accept such words to - I know I would have.