Processing News From An Old Workplace, Mulling Matters...

[Resilientbibliophile]

Greetings and thanks for reading this,

Mixed feelings of regret, resignation, remorse - and lingering feelings of professional defectiveness too. News just received that a work role that I far from perfectly filled just claimed another causality as this person too was fired. I don't want some sense of vindication denominated in terms that leave another person hurt and badly confused. That's it - I just deeply regret that some disaffection engine has stamped the life out of another would-be comrade in arms - and for nothing, and again.

The person who replaced me related with sorrow how she had been fired from the role, and without being too obsessive about matters, discreetly related tiny instances of pressure being applied to the new hire who in turn maintained discreet communication with 'my' replacement. I didn't attempt to establish contact with the newer-still hire, believing that if I represented some contaminant for proven poor orientation to the role that I ought to stay clear of her. Perhaps it was 'all me', while I thought it vain and voyeuristic to insist on access so-construed. This didn't help her, and in some weird fashion I feel I've failed to protect someone I know not at all. Sad then...

M.

 

[ericaboo]

Your choices don't sound very good either way...

It almost seems like a coin flipping situation. I try to believe things have a way of working themselves out, and that worrying and/or mulling takes up space in my brain that I need for today.

It's always so frustrating watching what happens after I've left a place - I hate to even look back. So many what if's and could've, should've, would'ves...

Letting go is freedom, but it's easier said than done.

 

[LhasaLover]

The workplace sounds dysfunctional. I would try to stay in the "now". At least you are both not in the dysfunctional environment where every day seems like The Hunger Games.

 

[Resilientbibliophile]

Thanks for the kind interest/responses,

A frightening place. A newly-built library (well, 2005 anyhow) where old line paraprofessional staff turn on degreed outsiders who can't match the local knowledge/political savvy/and bible thumping power of those who started as shelvers in their pre-teens. It's wholly weird given that I can't reasonably deny the fact that the indigenous species present in that environment both know their stuff and intimately know the community they serve for they 'are' the community. Still - a very nasty lot them, cutthroats of the very worst and most uncompromising kind, whereas details leaking to me confirm these impressions - again.

An an aside, my Library & Information Science degree in point of fact doesn't equate to much that an astute and public-friendly teenager couldn't provide with perhaps Google and a service called Novelist on a computer and at the ready. I don't expect my degree to part the seas, but at least I didn't isolate and kill people on the basis of perceptions of difference! Whew! Nasty place... Thanks

M.