Relationship Progress

[Dallas]

Yes-I think so, but I am not an expert by any means. Something that helps me: I know I have two choices. I can choose to trust him and love him and know he loves me. Or I can choose to doubt him and imagine he doesn't love me or is with someone else. I ALWAYS choose the first option. And so far I've always been right!

When he comes back or when he gets out of the hospital, and he sees that I've trusted him and still love him and nothing has changed, and that I respect him and have faith in him. He just skyrockets with pride, it is so wonderful to see.

Another thing that helps me, is I know he is with God, and God is healing him. God can do a WAY better job at healing him than I ever can. So I am perfectly willing to hand him over to the care of God. Then I don't have to worry about him!

Sincerely,
Dallas.

 

[Lovemyman]

Wow, thank u so much. My fiancé is such a proud man. I think it scares me because what if he's so ashamed of him leaving like he did that he doesn't come back? I'm hoping he's gotten his meds n the mail and has gotten back on them and that he will come home or at least call me very soon. I've been reading some of the other posts on here and they are helping so much.

 

[Dallas]

He will be back. Don't worry. Put your faith in God. I'm finding that pride with them is a huge issue. They may feel like they can't provide for us like they want to or something like that, and then they feel bad. They have to sit and figure all this out, and sometime it takes some time. But he will be back. Trust him and let it go. Get busy with your stuff. The time will pass quickly, and he'll be back before you know it. The more you allow him to take control of his own life, the better he will feel about himself. When he feels good about himself and his accomplishments, he will be back like a roaring lion!

Sincerely,
Dallas.

 

[Lovemyman]

I pray your right. We were planning to get married Dec 29 of this yr. I'm willing to wait if he needs more time. I love him so much. Again thank you You have helped me so much I'm really loving this site

 

[LoveHimThroughThis]

He is so lucky to have you. You are amazing to be there for him. Take good care of yourself. This stuff is not for sissies. You must be very brave and strong. I wish you the best. I hope it all works out for you in the best way.

Thanks gizmo! I am no sissy!:laugh: Besides dealing with my MS, I have a 12 yr old son who is severely developmentally disabled. I have gotten some feedback at my MS support site for being a "rescuer" but, being with me & my son isn't easy and I think our lives and experiences make taking my boyfriend's issues in stride easier.

Lovemyman, I can relate somewhat to your situation. We also moved pretty quickly but like you, it just felt right. I have never questioned if we should have waited until recently when I was having some cognitive & emotional issues relating to my issues and he went into full scale withdrawal.

Reading in here, I feel lucky. He never leaves, but he does go into his laptop for days on end. I get very frustrated that he isn't participating in life here after a few days but like I said, I am here to learn how much space is realistic to give him before I insist on maintaining some boundaries.

I will say that the helicopter, not you is what set him off. My BF will not sit anywhere that he can't see behind him. And because he worked the explosives in Iraq & Afghanistan, thunder and lightening deeply unsettle him.

The worst I see him get is after he gets out his hundreds of photos from his deployments. Which he doesn't do as much anymore. I am not sure if it is because we haven't come across anyone new he felt may be interested or because I told him it upset me when he got in there because every time he gets them out, he relives it all and then withdraws from me completely for days on end.

I don't know anything about all this yet, but I can say that from what you have written, it sounds like once he gets his meds and or a chance to "come back" to present reality, he will be back and happy you still love him.

 

[Lovemyman]

Thank you. Him picking up and moving everything of his out sent me in an obvious tailspin. I've been reading all of these posts for the last three hours. He was in infantry on both tours so he was on the front lines. I didn't know him then but from what his kids have told me he was completely changed when he came back and took the army forever to figure it out. I think everyone on this site is amazing and am so thankful I found it.

 

[LoveHimThroughThis]

Mine also says he is a completely different person. Apparently he used to be social and outgoing, now, if we go somewhere that there are more than a few people, he either won't go, or completely bugs out the whole time. I am hoping this will ease when he makes more progress in dealing with it.
They suggested, and he has refused to go do in patient treatment. He was a combat engineer, the guys who find and try to disable the IEDs so, also heavy "action". I think I understand that when he left the military it was because they wouldn't let him deploy again. The messed up part is, he LOVED it and would go back in a minute if he could.......

 

[Lovemyman]

This is all new to me. I'm very encouraged with what I've read and am anxious to talk with him. I text his daughter last night and told her about this site and that I still want to be a part of his life. He has been in contact with her but not me or his dad. She said when she gets the chance to talk with him again she will tell him what I've said. So I pray.

 

[Lovemyman]

One more question. Is it common for them to pack up everything when they leave? He's in the process of selling his home so he still has it to go to?

 

[LoveHimThroughThis]

I have read this happening before but, as with everything related to this issue, it is all going to be individual motivations and reactions. All you can do is hope and believe in your man. :hug:

 

[Lovemyman]

I love my man very much and just pray I get the chance to tell him

 

[Lovemyman]

I got home from work this afternoon and broke down. It's a very lonely place right now. My son is out of town with his father for the weekend and my man is...I don't know. I haven't talked with him in a week and 2 days now. It's killing me inside and I can't do anything about it.