Calmdown
Silver Member
Today I had a very unnerving experience.
First what really happened: I was waiting on the platform and an older man walked passed me and looked several times at me.
An everyday experience. But my thoughts and feelings were strange.
Short backstory: There is something in my past that is either completly broken (psychotic?) or traumatic or both. Anything about it makes me feel crazy. It is related to a name.
Today I was in the city that "name" lived in. He is dead since many years.
That man on the train platform barely even reminded me of him. When he looked at me I felt like it was him, that this looks had a meaning. That feeling was absolutely real. For that moment I was struggling. If it had been any worse, I don’t think I could have stayed on my feet. I already felt dizzy.
I wasn't even alone, my mother was there but she didn't notice anything. It was only short and for a very short moment I had the thought he is still alive and found me by chance. I know that it is impossible, but as I said for that moment I felt that way.
The whole day i felt normal, it was just that moment. In general I barely have any symptoms, I'm focused on other things currently. I even had some good days the last weeks, but this topic seems to haunt me.
I just fear that it sounds more like a psychosis.
First what really happened: I was waiting on the platform and an older man walked passed me and looked several times at me.
An everyday experience. But my thoughts and feelings were strange.
Short backstory: There is something in my past that is either completly broken (psychotic?) or traumatic or both. Anything about it makes me feel crazy. It is related to a name.
Today I was in the city that "name" lived in. He is dead since many years.
That man on the train platform barely even reminded me of him. When he looked at me I felt like it was him, that this looks had a meaning. That feeling was absolutely real. For that moment I was struggling. If it had been any worse, I don’t think I could have stayed on my feet. I already felt dizzy.
I wasn't even alone, my mother was there but she didn't notice anything. It was only short and for a very short moment I had the thought he is still alive and found me by chance. I know that it is impossible, but as I said for that moment I felt that way.
The whole day i felt normal, it was just that moment. In general I barely have any symptoms, I'm focused on other things currently. I even had some good days the last weeks, but this topic seems to haunt me.
I just fear that it sounds more like a psychosis.