General PTSD and False Memories

[Chuck_Noland]

My wife has been diagnosed with PTSD. She suffered some horrible abuse as a child from her mother. About a year ago she started getting upset with me. She would want to know why I told her she is getting fat, or why I said I want her to divorce me. Once she said that I told to stop hanging around with her friend because I said I'm afraid she and her friend may be having a homosexual relationship. I really don't understand what is happening to my wife. We have been married for about 20 years and I have never said any of those things. We get into arguments over this and I can really tell she sincerely believes that I said these sort of things to her.

I'm confused. Does anyone have any experience with a loved one who creates false memories in their mind?

 

[Nicolette]

Welcome to the forum Chuck.

Unfortunately I cannot offer you any advice in relation to your question as I have never had such an experience. I hope someone can answer you but in the meantime please feel free to read up on whats here as there is lots of useful information to be found.

 

[TLight]

My hunch is she is testing you. Also, some of us will make up things in an attempt to get our emotional needs me, sometimes extreme things. I read about it in a survival book for BPD.

 

[TLight]

My advice is to not agrue with her, just hold her tight, ask her what she really needs, comfort, support, reassurance you won't leave her, etc.
Try to not look at it as her trying to pick fights, try to look at it as she is frightened and has needs and doesn' know how to get them met.

 

[Angela_S]

I agree with the above. She is very likely wanting reassurance and is just going about it in the wrong way, although it is quite extreme. If she sees a counselor or therapist for the PTSD, perhaps these "symptoms" could be mentioned. Maybe it is due to an underlying problem outside of the PTSD. It certainly wouldn't hurt to let the counselor at least know. It may help them treat her as well.

Also, I was thinking maybe her self esteem is just so low (seems to be a common issue with PTSD) that she takes something you might say in the most negative way possible. I often get my feelings hurt when I take something my husband has said in the worst possible light instead of just asking what he actually meant or telling him what I heard him say.

My husband has PTSD and forgets things ALOT or sometimes remembers things, but gets the details all mixed up. He is always SO sure of what he remembers that it can start an argument if I don't handle it the right way.

One thing I'm pretty sure of, I'll bet the hugs and reassurance mentioned above will work wonders!:smile:

 

[Chuck_Noland]

advice

Yes, I would do that, except she has told me that she does not want me to touch her in any way. For a while I ignored that and would give her hugs, do nice things for her, but it only made her madder and argue with me. So I just live here with her now. I guess I'm sort of like her live in doctor or assistant. My counselor told me that I have to be prepared to accept that this may be the rest of my life. So I have accepted that. It's just she keeps creating these things in her mind that never happened. The other day she called from work to tell me her boss took a swing at her in an attempt to hit her. I just wonder if what ever is wrong with her thinking ability is going to one day cause her to go off the deep end. Several months ago she thought her doctors in the ER said she had a weak heart so she got it in her mind that she was going to die soon. It just sounds like more than PTSD. I'm just confused. Her counselor won't tell me anything since there is a Dr. Patient confidentiality law. My wife doesn't want me talking to her Psych either. I just live a day at a time now. Sometimes, just minute by minute. I am suffering from depression now so I am working with a doctor to help me cope. It gets very lonely around here. I really think my wife has more than PTSD.

 

[rob4444]

May possibly be BPD..very similar symptoms..i have both and bi polar,and sometimes have trouble distinquishing false memories(i believe made up to justify the pain and embarrasment)from genuine memories...the human mind can play tricks to justify your existence sometimes...i have found a large dose of Epilim(2000mg daily)keeps me level headed and controls my swings of aggression...without it i couldnt live with anyone.