Ptsd And Having A Relationship

[Yoda53]

Hello Community,

I am in my late teens and I'm not in a relationship. I'm fine with that, as some of my friends are in relationships and some are not. However, it is something I think about. I feel sad and scared though.

I have PTSD and have unfortunately experienced many traumas (Side note- I hate saying that... Part of me feels ashamed because the traumas I have gone through are things nobody should ever go through in their lifetime, yet I have gone through so many is such a short amount of time... 18 years is too short). I am afraid I will never be able to maintain a serious relatinship. I have confidence that a lovely man will come along who will love and accept me as the person I am, which includes everything I have experienced both good and bad. I am afraid though that I will never be able to have physical intimacy though because of what I've gone through.

I know my situation is not hopeless, but I could really use some more hope because I am lacking in that area right now. Thank you <3

-Yoda53

 

[Gs172003]

Just get help with what you have been through. Deal with that FIRST. Once you can come to terms with that then move on into relationship seeking.

 

[Ellabella44]

The right guy will be interested in you for you. I had a male friend who was willing to be patient with me and work through things with me. Even holding me naked with him and crying so hard the first time I tried with him. He went away to college and came back every summer and we tried again. Trusting him enough I was eventually able to be with him.

We lost touch a year later.

Not all guys will be patient like that. but its worth it to find one who will. It was a healing experience and I have gone on to marry another man like him since then and have two children.

 

[Yoda53]

Just get help with what you have been through. Deal with that FIRST. Once you can come to terms wit...

Thank you

 

[Yoda53]

Thank you, this gives me a lot of hope

 

[EveHarrington]

Keep working on healing------the right guy won't judge you for your past. If a guy does judge you, pass him on by as he's not worthy of your time, and you can do so much better!

 

[SometimesWriter]

Don't give up hope - relationships are very possible, and hopefully for you, with time, sex will be possible too. Don't make that judgement yet, and don't feel badly if it takes some time - it could be years before you're ready to be intimate with someone, but THAT'S OKAY. Whatever you need to do to process what happened, and however long you need to take to move past it and move forward with your life - it's okay.

You deserve the very best out of your life from this moment forward, and maybe in the future when you've come to a better place in your recovery, you'll meet someone you share a lot of things in common with. I was very uncomfortable with intimacy at first, in the years after I was assaulted, but I forced myself to date anyway and I wish that I had just stopped trying for a few years and allowed myself to focus more on my own recovery.

So don't waste your time on thinking about "eventuals," like you have to be involved with someone to be "normal" - because that's not true. Go do what you need to do to be a whole person you are proud of, and love will come to you, I promise you that. It took me until I was 32 and divorced before I met someone I honestly love and trust. We've been together now for three years and we're both survivors of abuse, it's really hard work but we're very understanding of each other's limitations and triggers, and we appreciate our strengths. Good luck!