Relationship Ptsd And Very Young Children??

[Livy's Mom]

Oh and to answer your question about his family, they basically dropped us like a hot potatoe when he left.

His mother And I have some contact but it's slightly strained but I think she would be open to visits there so I should try that avenue. Not a bad idea at all.

 

[Sweetpea76]

He may be less likely to drink if he knows his family is watching... God forbid he prove you right ;)

 

[Livy's Mom]

Ok... The mythical unicorn sent a text that he wants to see her Saturday.

So here is where I am... I was instantly pissed.

First we have plans to go to a mommy and me yoga class Saturday and I'm angry that his reappearance will throw off my plans to do good things with her.

Second, I know that he watches his Drunkle Randy's son on saturdays so it makes me furious that he wants to do it on a day he's already "inconvenienced" by the way "Drunkle Randy" is the uncle he stays with currently whom is also an alcoholic.

I'm so angry that he only wants to see her 1 day a week if anything and I SHOULD say yes sure no problem!

So I didn't respond right away to the text from the unicorn, 10 minutes passed and he started calling. I sent them to voicemail because I needed time to think through it.

HE CALLED MY MOTHER! Basically making it sound like he's been trying and trying to get in touch with me so he can see his daughter and I'm not responding.

God I'm mad!!!! You have been gone a month and couldn't have cared less about her! Today your a scorned father who is being kept from his daughter!!!!

I needed to vent that out but feel free to post your thoughts. I'm still unsure how to handle this. My mind is screaming no no no get away but I am aware that I can't protect her from this.

I know it's going to have to happen but it's infuriating that not only can he decide to up and leave us but also decide when we have to accomadate his minuscule efforts.

Have I also mentioned I still love this asshole! I really do. Likely why this makes me so upset. HA! I need as much therapy as he does that's for sure. Appointment 10AM tomorrow. Just in time!

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

No no no. Don't change your plans

You give him set days and time make it clear if he doesn't make it that's it. You will have her this day this time and if he doesn't bother his arse there's your answer. It's not great but he will take the piss and come and go as he pleases if you don't set boundaries. Explain to him he needs up be consistent if he can't do a day you need to know in advance if possible. If he just doesn't turn up that's it.

Don't work round him he comes on your terms until he can be trusted to stay sober and be there for his child.

 

[shimmerz]

Second, I know that he watches his Drunkle Randy's son on saturdays so it makes me furious that he wants to do it on a day he's already "inconvenienced" by the way "Drunkle Randy" is the uncle he stays with currently whom is also an alcoholic.

This is a really bad scene. I don't have to tell you that though.

 

[Purplemunchkin]

I would say that if he wants to see her he needs to give you x days notice, and he needs to give his daughter his sole attention. So a day when he is already looking after another kid is not on.

 

[Livy's Mom]

Many thanks! I am going to do exactly that.

I will offer a different day and request more notice in the future.

Therapy appointment this morning so I won't communicate back until I've seen her.... You know to ensure the message doesn't go a little something like this "F*ck you, you incentive piece of sh*t!!!"

Thanks again everyone!