Hi!
This is my first post here, and I'm a bit nervous. I don't live in an english speaking country, and english isn't my first language, so please forgive me if I misspell something. I've been looking for a PTSD-forum for quite a long time, but there is none in my language. Now I found my way here, and I'm really thankful.
I suffer from PTSD caused by involuntary psychiatric treatment I got ten years ago, when I suffered from self-harm and eating disorders. But it really started when I was a kid and was sexually abused by an older friend. I had almost healed from those experiences, when I was admitted into the psychiatric hospital. Several times I was put in restraints or was held for hours by the staff. Their hands on my body totally freaked me out, and triggered my old experiences. The treatment has just made my self-harm worse, and I ended up almost killing myself.
Now ten years has passed since I left the psychiatry, but I still have nightmares several times every week. I panic when I'm in a crowd, a small room or just feeling cornered. The sound of emergency vehicles, the sight of police officers or just the sound of keys: there are so many things that make my system vigilant and totally tensed. I realise that I need help, but my big problem is: how? I can't turn to the psychiatry to ask for help with PTSD caused by the psychiatry. It would just kill me.
So, that's short about me and where I stand. I hope this forum can be som kind of lifeline until I decide what to.
Pax!
This is my first post here, and I'm a bit nervous. I don't live in an english speaking country, and english isn't my first language, so please forgive me if I misspell something. I've been looking for a PTSD-forum for quite a long time, but there is none in my language. Now I found my way here, and I'm really thankful.
I suffer from PTSD caused by involuntary psychiatric treatment I got ten years ago, when I suffered from self-harm and eating disorders. But it really started when I was a kid and was sexually abused by an older friend. I had almost healed from those experiences, when I was admitted into the psychiatric hospital. Several times I was put in restraints or was held for hours by the staff. Their hands on my body totally freaked me out, and triggered my old experiences. The treatment has just made my self-harm worse, and I ended up almost killing myself.
Now ten years has passed since I left the psychiatry, but I still have nightmares several times every week. I panic when I'm in a crowd, a small room or just feeling cornered. The sound of emergency vehicles, the sight of police officers or just the sound of keys: there are so many things that make my system vigilant and totally tensed. I realise that I need help, but my big problem is: how? I can't turn to the psychiatry to ask for help with PTSD caused by the psychiatry. It would just kill me.
So, that's short about me and where I stand. I hope this forum can be som kind of lifeline until I decide what to.
Pax!