Freedomfighter
Diamond Member
I have had PTSD for about 6 years now and can say that one never really gets used to it.
Do any of you think that a messed up child hood is a risk factor in contracting PTSD later in life? I am wondering about that.
My childhood was spent in a family where the mom yelled a lot, the Father was abusive. I do not blame my mom, she did the best she could. I remembered several instances of possible sexual abuse too. However I was only 4 years at the time so those events were over 40 years ago. At times I doubt myself because I have only a couple of small child hood memories that point towards sexual abuse.
I have pretty much accepted that though because sexual abuse in itself is not the real abuse. My father is an expert mental abuser, will suck the life out of anyone that gets close to him. For the past 5 years I swore to myself that I would not visit my parents as long as my father is still alive. They live over 2000 miles away and I would never have thought that my mom would die first. It was sort of: well the bad one should die sooner but it did not happen that way. Within 4 weeks of a cancer diagnosis my mom died 2 weeks ago. My visit to see them confirmed that I really did grow up in a chaotic family, the mental stress was unbearable at times.
Now my father will most likely have to go in a home for the elderly. The home they lived in belonged to the father and mother of my mom. My dad and her moved in there when we were still small.
Now all of a sudden my dad wants to get me involved in a financial ruse in which he would take the money from the sale of the home and give it to me. In order for that to happen I would have to open a bank account in a foreign country and declare that that money was mine, but in actuality my dad just wants me to hold the money so in case he needs money he could use it. The laws in his country are clear, if a citizen has to live in an elderly home the state will sell the house and with the proceeds pay for the living expenses of the elderly citizen. My dad wants to cheat the system, which would also get me in trouble, being liable for simply lying and also for him trying to evade taxes from the sale of the home. All in all I am deeply disgusted.
My mom fought a lot with my dad before she had to die and I am so terribly upset that she had to go through all that at the end of her life.
Now my dad keeps calling me, trying to sell me the idea of the house sale, but mostly to continuously complain about his life. He did that while my mom was still alive, barely clinging to it anyways. He is one of the most selfish people I know and thinks nothing of his mental abuse.
I am often confused as to what to do. Have gotten over the possible sexual abuse as a child, still reeling from an abusive marriage that lasted over 20 years, including a son who is now more and more developing like his abusive father, and now having lost my mom and my abusive dad haunting me I am more confused than ever.
I got PTSD after I was pursued and threatened by a male stalker. My father is beginning to seem like a stalker himself now and I am plagued by the weirdest nightmares that are so completely the opposite from what I am thinking that it frightens me.
Autism to me has never seemed like a disorder. I am comfortable with my Autism, I know exactly what people think before they even approach me, not sure if that is linked to high functioning Autism or not. I think my mom had autistic tendencies too.
Just wish I could get over this awful confusion that is now accompanying me.
Do any of you think that a messed up child hood is a risk factor in contracting PTSD later in life? I am wondering about that.
My childhood was spent in a family where the mom yelled a lot, the Father was abusive. I do not blame my mom, she did the best she could. I remembered several instances of possible sexual abuse too. However I was only 4 years at the time so those events were over 40 years ago. At times I doubt myself because I have only a couple of small child hood memories that point towards sexual abuse.
I have pretty much accepted that though because sexual abuse in itself is not the real abuse. My father is an expert mental abuser, will suck the life out of anyone that gets close to him. For the past 5 years I swore to myself that I would not visit my parents as long as my father is still alive. They live over 2000 miles away and I would never have thought that my mom would die first. It was sort of: well the bad one should die sooner but it did not happen that way. Within 4 weeks of a cancer diagnosis my mom died 2 weeks ago. My visit to see them confirmed that I really did grow up in a chaotic family, the mental stress was unbearable at times.
Now my father will most likely have to go in a home for the elderly. The home they lived in belonged to the father and mother of my mom. My dad and her moved in there when we were still small.
Now all of a sudden my dad wants to get me involved in a financial ruse in which he would take the money from the sale of the home and give it to me. In order for that to happen I would have to open a bank account in a foreign country and declare that that money was mine, but in actuality my dad just wants me to hold the money so in case he needs money he could use it. The laws in his country are clear, if a citizen has to live in an elderly home the state will sell the house and with the proceeds pay for the living expenses of the elderly citizen. My dad wants to cheat the system, which would also get me in trouble, being liable for simply lying and also for him trying to evade taxes from the sale of the home. All in all I am deeply disgusted.
My mom fought a lot with my dad before she had to die and I am so terribly upset that she had to go through all that at the end of her life.
Now my dad keeps calling me, trying to sell me the idea of the house sale, but mostly to continuously complain about his life. He did that while my mom was still alive, barely clinging to it anyways. He is one of the most selfish people I know and thinks nothing of his mental abuse.
I am often confused as to what to do. Have gotten over the possible sexual abuse as a child, still reeling from an abusive marriage that lasted over 20 years, including a son who is now more and more developing like his abusive father, and now having lost my mom and my abusive dad haunting me I am more confused than ever.
I got PTSD after I was pursued and threatened by a male stalker. My father is beginning to seem like a stalker himself now and I am plagued by the weirdest nightmares that are so completely the opposite from what I am thinking that it frightens me.
Autism to me has never seemed like a disorder. I am comfortable with my Autism, I know exactly what people think before they even approach me, not sure if that is linked to high functioning Autism or not. I think my mom had autistic tendencies too.
Just wish I could get over this awful confusion that is now accompanying me.
