LoveHimThroughThis
New Here
HA! I came here a while back because I was in a relationship with someone who had or said he had PTSD. I killed myself trying to understand and learn so that I could help him as we lived together and talked very much about spending the rest of our lives together.
That all blew up some months ago, I posted about it here and there was even more that ended up coming out after I stopped thinking about him and PTSD but that is irrelevant to this thread.
Once I knew as much as I was going to about that situation, it was pretty easy to get over HIM, just not so much what a fool I had been and how easily myself and everyone else around him believed SO many lies.
Anyway, I set about putting my life back together and moving on from it. There had been a guy who had been begging for my attention and time for MONTHS on Facebook when I was with him and we started chatting shortly after the break up. He was a really great guy, a wonderful distraction and besides just making me feel better, claiming he had crushed on me since HS and he also served and has PTSD and we talked about what I had learned and gone through and he talked some about how he deals with it. (Seriously, again? How common is this?!)
Anyway, I didn't want to get involved again so soon but, we just clicked on a freakish level.... so we haven't talked about it in great detail. I know he sometimes wakes screaming from night terrors, not often but when he does, they are VERY intense. I told him I was fine to wait before I asked many questions about his trauma, though I was fully prepared to listen, I wanted him to feel comfortable enough to tell me everything in his own time. We live in different states and were pretty much seeing each other on the weekends, taking it slow. But pretty much talking and texting NON STOP.
About a month and a half ago, after we had been intimate a couple of times following much long distance build up, he abruptly stopped taking his anti depressants that he said he had been on since 2004. His reason was he didn't like how they made him feel and they were keeping him from reaching climax when we were intimate.
I didn't find out until a couple weeks later when I was asking him about some changes I had noticed in his behavior and, of course I was concerned, and told him cold turkey was NOT the way to go but, got the typical military response. "I"m a machine, it will be fine"
Short story version, haven't seen him since Thanksgiving between his work schedule and time scheduled visiting his children in FL which became such a dramatic situation that he is now preparing to take primary custody of his 3 little ones in 60 days.
Things have been going downhill since about when he quit taking the meds but now with the added family stress, he is a completely different person. The only reason I entered into a "relationship" with him was because we talked about everything so much, he was so sweet, so gentle, SO ATTENTIVE, I couldn't not see what could happen with us. Now? Hardly hear from him at all, and when I started freaking out about the change in his behavior, he told me he couldn't have a relationship right now, when pressed, he said he didn't know how to accept help from someone who cared. He has also said repeatedly that the last thing he wants is to hurt me.
I had honestly forgotten about him having PTSD until tonight, until recently, he has been so damn near perfect....so I emailed him and told him that it just occurred to me that with the meds and the family stress perhaps it could be the reason he did such a Jekyll/Hyde from so sweet and sensitive to no input and kind of cold. I told him not to be upset I brought it up but it made a lot of sense with what has been going on in his life to trigger it.
I don't want to make excuses if there are other explanations, but since I have been through it before and done the research, it kind of makes sense. I have been trying to just walk away from this but haven't been able to accept that he worked SO HARD at convincing me he was a good guy, and showing me that I was important to him and HE wanted a relationship even when I warned him that I would certainly have some issues after the last ordeal he said he understood and could handle it. I am not in love with him yet, but I really, truly believed that was exactly where this was going.
Do I sound as much like some vapid teen age girl as I feel like I do? I don't want to be the fool again, but I also don't want to walk away from a good man who needs the understanding and deserves the love he usually showers on everyone around him.....
That all blew up some months ago, I posted about it here and there was even more that ended up coming out after I stopped thinking about him and PTSD but that is irrelevant to this thread.
Once I knew as much as I was going to about that situation, it was pretty easy to get over HIM, just not so much what a fool I had been and how easily myself and everyone else around him believed SO many lies.
Anyway, I set about putting my life back together and moving on from it. There had been a guy who had been begging for my attention and time for MONTHS on Facebook when I was with him and we started chatting shortly after the break up. He was a really great guy, a wonderful distraction and besides just making me feel better, claiming he had crushed on me since HS and he also served and has PTSD and we talked about what I had learned and gone through and he talked some about how he deals with it. (Seriously, again? How common is this?!)
Anyway, I didn't want to get involved again so soon but, we just clicked on a freakish level.... so we haven't talked about it in great detail. I know he sometimes wakes screaming from night terrors, not often but when he does, they are VERY intense. I told him I was fine to wait before I asked many questions about his trauma, though I was fully prepared to listen, I wanted him to feel comfortable enough to tell me everything in his own time. We live in different states and were pretty much seeing each other on the weekends, taking it slow. But pretty much talking and texting NON STOP.
About a month and a half ago, after we had been intimate a couple of times following much long distance build up, he abruptly stopped taking his anti depressants that he said he had been on since 2004. His reason was he didn't like how they made him feel and they were keeping him from reaching climax when we were intimate.
I didn't find out until a couple weeks later when I was asking him about some changes I had noticed in his behavior and, of course I was concerned, and told him cold turkey was NOT the way to go but, got the typical military response. "I"m a machine, it will be fine"
Short story version, haven't seen him since Thanksgiving between his work schedule and time scheduled visiting his children in FL which became such a dramatic situation that he is now preparing to take primary custody of his 3 little ones in 60 days.
Things have been going downhill since about when he quit taking the meds but now with the added family stress, he is a completely different person. The only reason I entered into a "relationship" with him was because we talked about everything so much, he was so sweet, so gentle, SO ATTENTIVE, I couldn't not see what could happen with us. Now? Hardly hear from him at all, and when I started freaking out about the change in his behavior, he told me he couldn't have a relationship right now, when pressed, he said he didn't know how to accept help from someone who cared. He has also said repeatedly that the last thing he wants is to hurt me.
I had honestly forgotten about him having PTSD until tonight, until recently, he has been so damn near perfect....so I emailed him and told him that it just occurred to me that with the meds and the family stress perhaps it could be the reason he did such a Jekyll/Hyde from so sweet and sensitive to no input and kind of cold. I told him not to be upset I brought it up but it made a lot of sense with what has been going on in his life to trigger it.
I don't want to make excuses if there are other explanations, but since I have been through it before and done the research, it kind of makes sense. I have been trying to just walk away from this but haven't been able to accept that he worked SO HARD at convincing me he was a good guy, and showing me that I was important to him and HE wanted a relationship even when I warned him that I would certainly have some issues after the last ordeal he said he understood and could handle it. I am not in love with him yet, but I really, truly believed that was exactly where this was going.
Do I sound as much like some vapid teen age girl as I feel like I do? I don't want to be the fool again, but I also don't want to walk away from a good man who needs the understanding and deserves the love he usually showers on everyone around him.....
