Ptsd poetry anyone?

[Deleted member 42984]

My friend D said that the central teaching of Buddhism is “preparing to die”

I think it's a central tenet to life, to accept your own mortality.
It's a life in much less fear. And acceptance and gratitude.
It's hard for PTSD peeps, I know, with the chronic survival mode and all.
But essentially? I control nothing. And in that, I gain control, paradoxically.

 

[TruthSeeker]

My friend D said that the central teaching of Buddhism is “preparing to die”. That every day you are supposed to meditate on this. Not to grieve—maybe? But also to not take any breath for granted. To not add to the great amount of suffering already so present and pervasive, if you can help it.

I have contemplated death, for some time, now, but not in the way that I will take my own life. I have lived with a disability where death is a possibility on any given day. Coming to the conclusion, that life is precious and one should live it to the fullest, love to the fullest possible (and for some people whom I love dearly, it can be a struggle), and be grateful for every day we are given, has given me a sense of direction for the rest of my existence, peace, and gratitude for the good times and people who have been there for me.

 

[Ocean147]

Stop Being in My Dreams

He who shall not be named, if I hear his name, I freeze.

Why does he insist on chasing me? I want to be left alone.

After all, I tell my brain, he's not around but it can't tell the difference.

I ignore him, he blocks my path and laughs.

Still he follows not caring if I'm smiling or frowning.

He always enjoyed the unfair chase.

I turn to him and shout with every fiber in my being, "Stop being in my dreams!"

 

[Ocean147]

Trapped Once Again

My valuable voice is silenced by,
a snarky remark or comment.

My faith in my abilities happens to fall flat,
like a tire running over hidden spikes.

My prized education is criticized
In one single, piercing glance.

Moving out it seems is my only chance,
to get away from Mother Gothel.

I refuse to be Rapunzel.

 

[arfie]

@Ocean147 dunno. . . as i recall the fairy tale, rapunzel managed to escape mother gothel and go on to become a genuinely remarkable woman. i find myself wondering if you should use rapunzel as a role model, albeit a fictional one.

on a more pragmatic note, learning ways to stay true to myself in the face of critics was/is an important part of my recovery. there is no shortage of critics and/or manipulators in the world and the habit of granting one person the power to cow me runs on an automated transference system. if i grant mother gothel has the power to bring me to my knees, that power is available to other critics/manipulators, as well.

 

[Ocean147]

Yes, how do I become more independent, please? My grandma and my dad still see our interactions as a parent-child relationship and I want an adult-to-adult one.

 

[DogTired]

Silent Night.
It was the calm of the night that awoke me
On the river that flowed slowly by
No wind in the trees to rustle the leaves
No bird calls that cut through the night

Sat quiet on the bank of that river
No towns near to light up the sky
Starlight took on a new meaning
That and the glow of the night

When nothing but beauty surrounds you
When sound is you breathing alone
As the boat lines were gently creaking
I feel peace in the depths of my soul

(Part of my journal)