Ptsd Rages-

[The Albatross]

Learn to monitor your mood and to identify the warning signs of a rage building up. Leave as soon as you realise that you're no longer safe to be around. It's your responsibility, especially when there's children involved, to take care that you don't abuse other people with your symptoms.

Yeah, I go into self imposed time out... so I won't cause more problems than I've got already. My husband misunderstood at first, and saw it as abandonment. But this past couple of years he see's it as my attempts at "keeping the peace" and respects me for it. When I've dealt enough with the rage, I come out and try to stick to the "rules" we have agreed upon for communication. If I can't make it, I retire again for a time, til I'm ready to try, try again.

I have to say that the plus side of dealing with rage, is the discipline of keeping my hands at my sides and the comfort/security of being able to remove myself at least with one person... to prevent consequences.

 

[freakofnurture]

Yeah, I go into self imposed time out... so I won't cause more problems than I've got already. My husband misunderstood at first, and saw it as abandonment.

Hehe, I could have written that :)

 

[OKRADLAK]

FreakOfNurture....I totally get that where you can't stop screaming or yelling and raging. There are times it is like I am another person and sometimes totally forget what I said.

I do indeed try to leave when I can.....the trouble is that if we are in the car or where I cannot get away....Oh my, that is not easy.

 

[freakofnurture]

I do indeed try to leave when I can.....the trouble is that if we are in the car or where I cannot get away....Oh my, that is not easy.

I know those car situations -.- They suck big time.
You really have to practice prevention. Learn to identify the physical signs of you having an unstable day/being triggered, learn to stop a conversation when you realise you're about to get unsafe, and learn self-calming techniques.

 

[Abrasky]

I have also been cast the role of scapegoat and I recently said to my brother that I refuse to be the scapegoat any more after he attacked me. Once you know what role you have been given you can start to work from there to detach from identifying with all the labels placed on you.

Glad to here. When you are able to place boundaries with the ones you love it is a good sign of ijmproving inner
health.

If I can become master of my anger, then I can save my life, and possibly others from it coming out in a harmful way. It's a choice though.

I think that anger is an amazing thing that can be transferred around. My therapist is teaching me how anger can be turned into productivity. Sometimes anger can be transferred into energy for work and pursuits.

 

[Tinyflame]

I think that being gentle means one doesn't really feel like retaliating when maybe they 'should'.

 

[Muzikluvr]

This may be too long of a post, but it really struck a cord with me. Thanks for posting, and thanks for reading my reply.

I just wonder if anyone else has the PTSD rages.

I've had two kinds of PTSD rages:
a) When I'm thinking of a past trauma and I'm intensely wrapped up in it and someone interrupts me.
(Touching me during this time usually feels painful to me, even if it is a gentle hand on the shoulder, but when my children scream or bump into me or something, I also feel fight or flight.)

b) When someone triggers my survival instinct by offending me or scaring me in some way.

1. ...is it best to stop apologizing until you really are better, and just stay away till then?
Staying away can help you get clarity of the situation/relationship and of your angry response to it, but be careful because the longer you stay away the harder it may be to return.

2. I feel often like a very bad and evil person and sometimes I am told that, too.
You are not a bad person. You are human and you are making mistakes along the learning curve of your life. Not everyone's life includes trauma and the resulting negative feelings. Not everyone will be understanding of your struggles to regain balance in your life, this we must accept. But, we don't have to surround ourselves with those who only accept us when we are well behaved. And we don't have to judge ourselves by their standards. If you can put up a mental boundary between your self esteem and what others seem to think of you, then you may be able to behave better around them, which will create positive feelings from them and will make it easier and easier to be positive around them. - Don't forget that no one is perfect, not even those who are judging you. And, though you should be understanding of them, you must eventually address their words and actions which are triggers to your rage.

I put some distance between myself and my family of origin for many reasons, including that I seemed to be offended by most things that they said. I wanted to (and sometimes did) rage against them for it. Which made me feel awful and confirmed their judgments against me...it also gave them examples to tell others and to demand I apologize for. I haven't yet returned. I found in the distance that they were wrong about me a very long time ago and that growing up with their condemnations and their confusion about me was a painful existence. It created a number of triggers based on daily life, and so washing my hands triggers a discussion at the dinner table that I for some reason can't let go of. There are a myriad of these kinds of reminders of my life alone, traumatized and confused.

When I went into therapy, I became more positive around my family. Someone was validating my life, it was easier to be open and inviting. They began to make comments on my successful recovery, and then they wanted to know why I got so angry with them when they didn't do anything wrong. That made me angry. I didn't understand why at the time, but I do now. It was accusatory and they deny having had any part in the painful events of my childhood. I'm specifically speaking of my Dad and my brother. My mother feels some responsibility, but my dad and brother behave as if they had no idea that I needed help and that I just attacked them for no reason. I find the hardest part in relationships is the communication of my needs... especially to the people who so successfully ignored them when I needed protection most of all. I haven't yet been able to imagine handling their excuses for believing that I was a bad person, and continuing to view me that way whenever I behave differently than they would like, without raging against them. So, I haven't contacted them. What am I going to do, start a tough conversation and then throw a lamp at their heads? That's how my imagery ends. I always picture physically assaulting my dad. So, I stay away.

Good luck with your sibling and family. It is a long road, but it is worth it. I'm better off without them; knowing how I got this way, than with them; wondering what's wrong with me. Your rage is triggered somehow. Figure out how. What were you thinking about when your nephew jumped on you? What does your family think of you and why? How can you accept your own shortcomings? Can you forgive yourself? Can you change your self image without convincing them to agree with a positive image of you?[/quote]