Ptsd Relastionship Early Shut Out

[Boosted135i]

The talk of a restraining order came from some texting and Facebook messaging on my part a couple days after she broke it off. I never got ugly or mean.. Just wanted to know why this was happening and didn't back off when she gave me piss poor excuses.

I visited a friend who lives in the same part of the city as she did and said she was more than welcome to come out with us and have a good time... She said don't you dare come by the house?? (I'd never come over uninvited, nor have I). It's another piece of the puzzle that is very strange. I never acted unprofessionally or sketchy and all of a sudden I'm treated like a crazy person. It was strange

 

[Boosted135i]

I broke down last night and sent her a message. I let her know that I've been researching PTSD since we split and that I know that "NO" has a very important meaning. I told her I feel like we both triggered each other and that I feel like I had a blindfold on before I read about PTSD. I said that my door was always open and that I expect nothing in return and that my behavior would back up that statement.

She viewed the message four or five times but didn't give me a response. Who knows what today or the next hold, but I feel like I'm getting more of a hold on myself and my emotions.

I feel good today. Since this happened, I've been waking up at exactly 12AM every night in this panic that I lost something. And then it becomes reality that I did lose something. I kind of broke down when I woke up this morning before I got out of bed. However, I feel good at work. I feel like I've been able to explain myself in a non-selfish, non triggering way. I've always been an extreme empath (Pisces) and I can most definitely feel her sadness and pain. I have a feeling that however much this has impacted me, it has touched her far deeper. It hurts to be powerless, but I feel content that hopefully I've explained things in an understanding and caring way.

 

[Boosted135i]

Just received a scathing batch of messages; surely to be the last.

Got called a psychotic, was told I'm embarrassing myself.

Why do I keep getting called a manipulator?? She keeps saying I'm manipulating her and lying to her??? She's upset that I told her I was trying to understand..

Literally EVERYTHING I've done and have said/say is being considered extremely negative.

This is too much, and I'm emotionally exhausted from it. I'm not even frustrated at this point. She told me her entire family hates me and she hates me, too.

Why is there so much anger pointed in my direction? What am I the manifestation of? Why would her entire family hate me? I'm beginning to even wonder if this is PTSD or borderline personality disorder. I've definitely been painted black.

She believes that going to her vacation home will solve everything. She keeps telling me that. Wherever you go there you are, I say. This is way too much and it's a lot more than PTSD. It makes ZERO sense.

I told her that seeing her happy in the moment of peace was wonderful... She said "good, whatever that means. that means you can go be happy with someone else"

She just kept calling me a liar and a hypocrite and a manipulator.. I am none of those things. How in the world can she believe this about me??? What is at work here?

 

[Tinyflame]

I read your posts @Boosted135i , but I don't know what to say except "Oh My!!" :eek: :(

 

[Boosted135i]

I read your posts @Boosted135i , but I don't know what to say except "Oh My!!" :eek:...

Me either. I'm over it. I'm not going to get spat on anymore. To shoulder all of the burden for not giving her space after she walked away is something I can't do. I won't walk on eggshells for someone's happiness. She needs to be happy with herself before I even attempt to be involved in this.

Legal action keeps getting brought into the picture over every interaction between this girl and myself. Shes 27 years old. The idea that her parents get involved with their daughters affairs and actually behave this way is so beyond anything I've ever seen. She must be in such a state that they don't want to rock the boat because it will be hell to pay in the house. Not worth my happiness

 

[Tinyflame]

Well I surely think that's best. What disturbs me most is WTHell? Being treated poorly is awful but having no communication or idea why, & so severely, is bizarre.

 

[Tinyflame]

ETA, don't get me wrong 'PTSD' isn't 'just' ptsd- can be so awful for others- but there should still be reasons for behaviour- intellectual reasoning even after the fact. Big details here either seem left out or giantly misunderstood. :(

 

[Boosted135i]

Well I surely think that's best. What disturbs me most is WTHell? Being treated poorly is awful but havin...

It's like she's got earmuffs on and she's reading from a script that reads "You're a liar and manipulator, my family hates you, I hate you, you're a hypocrite, you ruined dinner by saying that one thing, you're this you're that, go be healthy and happy somewhere else"

Her mother stared me in the face one night and told me we're so happy to see our daughter this happy. She has mentioned so many times how much better her eating has gotten because of all the dinner dates you guys go on. She really feels comfortable with you. And she mentioned several times how her parents really liked me and told her that. I think it's all bullshit and they just walk on eggshells and tell her whatever she wants to hear.

The thing that cracked me up the most was "I don't play games when I make a decision it's final" This is coming from someone who picked ME to latch her claws into, make me feel at home and wanted and cared for, and then just completely detach and threaten a f*cking legal procedure every time she hears something she doesn't like.

 

[Tinyflame]

Must go to work @Boosted135i but if she's struggling with anorexia nervosa she may 'hate' you for eating so much (with you, after the fact/ feel badly). (Just a thought.)

 

[Tinyflame]

Oh @Boosted135i I'm sorry I can't look at that now, rushing, & in all honesty am not sure if I could wade through it all. Can only say from all those thumbnails those might be reasons to not continue!

Just a thought/ I was going to say/ forgot, I sort of ~hated (but didn't of course) promising to stay alive so a friend wouldn't ever think about such stuff again (after having asked for help with suicidal ideation/ planning). Sometimes I hated I promised not to (promise was my idea/ not forced). But of course you can't 'hate' health or someone's kindness, or your own choice/ thoughts. Far as I know, no such thoughts come from ptsd. (And actually, I forgot I promised, so thanks for that.)

Please don't take it upon yourself. :hug:

 

[Tinyflame]

@Boosted135i what's the "lying- 'sorry it won't happen again' " stuff? (Obviously the running theme.)

 

[Boosted135i]

I told her I had sent a letter when I hadn't... I forgot the stamp and it slipped my mind. And I had deleted a facebook picture of mine.... minutiae... It didn't matter what is was. I could have worn a blue tie instead of a red one and caught hell for it. She was nowhere near ready for a relationship... I'm a good man, and I was beyond good to her. This whole experience has been her trying to drag me into the depths of her sorrow. She found me on facebook for christs sake, fulfilled her little tryst and then pulled a 180 and blamed her sorrows on my presence. She threw the kitchen sink at me (literally threw a wine glass at me too), unbelievable nasty barbs at what she deemed to be the slightest transgression. My brain hurts, and I'm nowhere closer to understanding what happened. I'm counting my blessings that the rip cord was pulled before I got 6 months to a year into this....

Nothing against her at all. I think the world of her.. She's just swallowed up by something really ugly right now and it's really giving her a hard time. I can't imagine what it's like to be in her shoes, and I pray for her to be made whole.