Sufferer Ptsd Ruining My Life!

[oregonmontana]

I went through a very traumatic experience. I was held in my apartment. Followed. Starved. I don't know who they were and I am scared to talk about it and some people I don't even think believe me. The ones that know don't like to talk about it. I am not the same person. I live with fear and pain. I am fighting so hard to beat the aftermath and today I just can't handle anymore. I feel like giving up. I am expected to just carry on with my life like nothing happened and be perfect. I am not suicidal because I don't believe in it, but I also sometimes wish I was dead. I want to live my life. I just hate that I am not the same person and my joy was stolen from me. I must survive this. I fought so hard to stay alive and I thought I was going to die, so why give up now? I just feel tired. I am so, very tired.

 

[franciemarnie]

I find the fatigue and hypervigilance to be quite exhausting too.

You have been thru trauma. Your body and brain responded normally to an abnormal situation. The way your brain works now is different, but I believe it can be significantly rebooted with the right trauma therapy. I hope you are getting some and can get back some of your former quality of life.

Welcome to the forum! You will find lots of help and support here. I am so sorry for what you went thru.

 

[RussH]

@oregonmontana welcome to the fourm. I know life with PTSD can be very hard, but you can overcome it.
Did you call the police after your abudction? Have they been able to give you any help?

You will find this forum to be a good place to meet people who understand how you are feeling, and they will be able to offer support, and suggestions on dealing with PTSD.
Please feel free to post and respond to others post.

 

[oregonmontana]

Thank you. I am too scared to tell people everything, especially after the rejection. So many people don't want to know why I disappeared......My own family doesn't seem to want to talk about it. My ex boyfriend just got frustrated because I wouldn't tell him what happened to me and I think it ruined our relationship.

 

[Friday]

It's not a super common thing, but it does happen. Especially when people are being held as insurance against someone else's behavior (aka you run into this in drug-land an awful lot / to the point where it is common. It's just not common in the world at large). There are other cases, too... It's just that my familiarity is in drugs/guns/human-trafficking.

 

[ghotiff]

Welcome.

Friends and family not wanting to know is called "denial". The reason to give you that word is that there are many threads you can read on that topic as it happens a lot and is very painful.

 

[intothelight]

@oregonmontana

There are times that life can seem so difficult that a person just gets tired of living, but it doesn't mean that they want to die. Living with PTSD can be exhausting, but there are many things you can do to make living a lot easier and better for yourself. Are you currently seeing a therapist or other mental health professional? A trauma therapist can really help with healing and there are many things you can do to help with the symptoms.

Take your time and look around as there is a lot of information here. One other benefit of this site is that you are among people that do understand what you are experiencing and the support and encouragement can really help with the healing process.