Ptsd Substance Abuse

[tangerinetrees12]

Soldiers Wife, I'm sorry about your husband. I read your story and that is so much to deal with from one person :(

I've never known my boyfriend to be physically abusive or violent in any sort of way. Sure, he gets pissed off, but I think he uses the spice to relax and get out of his head away. I guess to get away from whatever thoughts he has inside.

But I will heed your advice and be cautious. Thank you.

 

[rosebug]

I am an avid pot smoker. I do not drink, never really liked the feeling. I have been smoking pot nearly everyday since I was 20. Now I did not start it or try it because I was in pain but I did eventually seek it for that. I was having a ton of medical problems, have since been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. Anyway, it helps. I have smoked it through 12 years of therapy and my therapist and shrink both know. We have talked at great lengths about it and while they do not think it is ideal, they tell me that I am not harming myself or my recovery. I was also told to smoke it during 5 of my 8 lost pregnancys, in the hopes I would calm down and be able to eat/drink.
Right now I am fighting to keep my wieght steady so I can begin getting off my heaviest meds. I have wanted that for over a year now. But I know in my heart I will always smoke pot. I refuse to take any pain meds stronger than ibprofen now. With the ulcerative colitis, pain is everyday.
So, who thinks I have a problem. Yes, I am an addict of marijuana, do you think it is a bad thing? I am truly seeking others views. Thank You. :)

 

[tangerinetrees12]

If you're not harming yourself or hurting the people around you, then I do not see how it would a problem. It's being monitored by both of your doctors, and if they both see that the benefits of the marijuana outweigh the consequences, then you should keep doing what you're doing. I'm very sorry about all of your pain, it must be awful :(

The only reason I have a problem with my boyfriend's self medicating is that I do not see that the positives outweigh the consquences. Sure, he gets to be happy and giggly while high, and he gets away from the bad thoughts, but he's just running away from his inner demons instead of facing them head on, working thru those issues, accepting that they happened and moving on. But then I try to think about it from another point of view, and while he's away from me at school would probably not be the best time for him to start facing his demons. He's alone in a new state and has enough stress just dealing with school, so I just have to wait until he's done to tackle these issues.

 

[moose]

Dependence. Am being honest here. I have 'used' alcohol for about six years. I suppose it was my way of coping. Started off with three or four bottles of beer a day. Now it is far worse. I drink to forget, to sleep, to not dream. Does alcohol really help me? I know alcohol puts me in a depressive state, so i have to have another to pick me up. This is a form of self harm. At the moment I have to drink to forget. I do not wish this to go on forever.

There must be a way out of this. A cycle of ups and downs, feels like a rollercoaster, I wish to get off.

Moose.

 

[The Albatross]

Don't get discouraged Moose... I have issues with alcohol and though my actual pattern now fits in the "use" category... it cycles up to "abuse". So I am in recovery and have made a lot of head way in spite of my underlying traumas. Recovery was the way out for me... and there's a secular alternative available now... I used 12 step to first get sober... but found that I still had trouble with my thinking (random suicidal thoughts, and frustration tolerance). I ended up finding a program that uses CBT and REBT... and that has helped me quite a lot, though I still am not entirely abstinante. I'm trying to get my mojo back but have no dependence anymore, and if I slide into abuse, it is much much less than before recovery. Only a couple of days a couple of times last year.

I can relate that booze masked or enabled me to avoid uncomfortable anxiety, fears, or remembered events. It is a depressant, as well, and I try to keep that in mind, before I take the drink today. I do though, consider it a form of self harm... and hope that by dealing with the issues underneath the booze I can stop this behavior before I have any more negative consequenses than I have already.

 

[gsryoga]

I have been an addict since the day I picked up my first joint in 1970. It blocked out all the horror of my childhood, and I saw no reason to stop given that. But eventually I landed up treatment and NA. I stayed clean for 18 years and dealt with the trauma to the best of my ability. Then I had two extremely agonizing near death experiences, the second a near plane crash and my daily trauma level escalated to point of disability and incapacity. I then started smoking weed and -- for the first time -- drinking again. Once I took the first one, it took 10 years to get clean once more. I have been back in NA for almost two years.