I've tried to teach myself to be stronger. I've come a long way myself. I put myself first, make goals for myself, look at life in a positive way each day and set aside to do 1 thing I enjoy everyday. I read positive quotes a lot and embrace being an independent woman. It really does work. I've let things get me down too easy in the past and now that I'm dealing with a PTSD friendship, I must become stronger and take care of myself. I must say that my PTSD vet is somewhat different than others I have read about. He has an extreme case of combat PTSD, but works through it the best he can. We've been hanging out and talking frequently the past 7 months now. He has never once been rude or mean to me. I read so much about guys being cold and having violent outbursts. We get along well and I sit and listen. We talk on the phone almost everyday. I let him do most of the calling and asking to hang out. That way it doesn't feel like I'm "smothering" him in anyway and it gives him space and time to himself. He's so predictable at calling most of the time. Sometimes I think he watches the clock until I'm off work because he calls immediately after I clock out. Lol. I think it's cute and sweet and makes me feel good that he enjoys my company, but at the same time, I tell myself not to read too much into it because I'll probably never get a relationship. He calls me and sometimes talks for 4 hours!! Seriously...we talk a lot. I'm just thankful I have a friendship with him again. We used to be so close. He does have extreme anxiety cases sometimes, like around Christmas. He still talked to me the same, but had to be alone a whole week to calm down. I take things one day at a time and try not to sit and focus on the future. I live in the present...what's going on right this minute. It's less stressful. I know he cares a lot for me, but he says it wouldn't be fair to me, if we were in a relationship, because he can't be the person he should be. I respect that and told him that. Whatever happens, happens. God has a plan and I'll eventually get to find out what that is.
