Question about PTSD and Anger

[Callie001]

Hi everyone! My boyfriend came back from Iraq with PTSD. For a few weeks we were REALLY doing well with things, no arguments or anything. But today I feel that everything hit the fan with his anger. I really have no experience with PTSD and this is the first time I'm coping with it, with him.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom or advice about rationalizing with someone concerning PTSD. Sometimes he gets angry for what seems like no reason, sometimes he seems depressed, and sometimes I'm the bad guy it seems for no reason. He won't take his anti depressants, so guaging his moods has become really difficult.

Sometimes I'd really like to stand up for myself and argue back but I realize it will get us no where. Sometimes being the loving girlfriend that agrees with everything becomes so tiring. I feel that I waste my breath when I go on and on trying to explain my emotions to him.

Anyone have any tips to approaching a situation where both can become "winners" and happy???

Also, he feels that he is literally being accused of being "crazy" for having PTD. If he won't accept that he has it, how do I begin to be a supportive girlfriend through it all??

Frustrated and in need of advice!!

thank you!!

 

[Deleted member 541]

Hi & welcome.....

PTSD is hard to deal with, I give you credit. Anyone that can put up with us, is a hero in my book, hell, I can't stand MYSELF sometimes......

If your boyfriend won't accept the fact that he has PTSD, and won't take the meds prescribed, then there isn't much that you can do with those two things.

As far as his anger.... Well he needs to be accountable for his actions and his words. You will probably have to put down some boundaries and stick to them no matter what.

As for him feeling like he is *crazy*....Well, there are times that we do, well at least I have felt that way. I can't vouch for anyone else. When my emotions have been out of control, and I felt anger, rage, hatred, felt ashamed, guilty, dirty, depressed, and hopeless all at one time...Then YES, I felt crazy... So I can understand his feeling this way.

I suggest that you read everything that you can on PTSD, it's treatments, the symptoms, and everything that it entails.....Don't forget to make boundaries, and the number 1 rule........Take care of YOU!!!!!!!

 

[anthony]

I would suggest reading the [DLMURL="http://www.ptsdforum.org/forum14.html"]anger management[/DLMURL] forum, as that contains all the answers, even solutions on how to help him.

 

[Callie001]

Thank you very much for the advice! :smile:

 

[alice]

guaging his moods when ON anti-depressants would be difficult,there is a black-box warning on them due to hightened suicide risk. A low stimulus excercise regime like yoga might help to calm him enough without insulting his feelings towards his

emotional state with stigmatising labels. The first few weeks of his return were most likely a really beautiful distraction from his memories.He had his beautiful girlfriend back, his own home, bed etc. After a while the memories creep back in, which in itself is angering.

I'd try to surreptitiously sneak in the excercise, take it up yourself and encourage him that way, don't preach about whats good for him if he's not in the market for it.

If he's afraid of stigmatization, don't call it an illness, or refer to it as such.

When he finally relaxes a little, point out that many guys who've toured feel the same, go through similar feelings/experiences.