Question: If You've Been Told You Have Complex Trauma Does That Mean Bpd?

[Queen Boudica]

The only one that gave me a sense of relief was the correct diagnosis of ptsd severe because it made sense. The other ones freaked me out a bit. Hope that helps you!!!!

Yes it did @Kailani. Thank you, can really relate to what you wrote. The PTSD diagnosis makes real sense to me, explains so much of what I was going through. I had started to think I could be bipolar or even schizophrenic. But then my ex was systematically driving me crazy.

Anyway. Got the correct diagnosis. Complex trauma. And it was this psychologist I am seeing who recognised it straight away. He was the one who recognised the abuse I was going through with my ex. And helped me get out. Even when I was so scared and couldn't even trust my own thoughts, because I had been so gaslighted by my ex for so long. So I'm extremely grateful to him. I've been with him for 4 years. And, I don't expect perfect. The whole mental illness and diagnosis is a mindfield.

What I feel is important at the moment is finding out who I am. I wasn't allowed to do that with my mother, or my ex. Bit of a journey now to recover the pieces and try to put them back together. That is in addition to PTSD I guess. I'm not trying to be accurate because there is no such thing as 100% certainty in any of this. It is politics and opinions. What is important is the support to try and get to the other side. I think.

My sister definintely was BPD in the end. 2 different paths, 2 different outcomes. She was extremely attached to my mother, clinging onto her.
I wasn't I had my grandmother as the supportive one for my first years of life, I could see my mother's insanity from aged 4. Having that attachment with someone safe for the first few years helped. But then my mother totally destroyed that relationship. Because she had to reign supreme. I guess I'm digressing.

 

[anthony]

Actually in childhood trauma if you have an insane mother you feel like you are in danger all the time.

That is you, your situation -- not complex traumas definition.

What happened to you, does not define complex trauma. Many a child experience isolated, one-off, traumatic events -- yet many a person associate childhood trauma as complex trauma, when it is far from it.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Actually Anthony, I really disagree with that idea. I'll go by my psychologist and I was not saying that was the definition of complex trauma and as far as I can see there is no adequate definition for childhood trauma. And that is trauma, being exposed to constant danger so your fight or flight mechanism is constantly alert changes your brain chemistry and how your brain works and develops and your fight or flight mechanism is on all the time. And there was plenty else to give me the complex trauma diagnosis by the way. But I still go by that if you are constantly in danger in childhood that damages your brain, you have the nightmares, you have the triggers. You are constantly being attacked, abused, and exposed to situations that no child could cope with.

 

[Queen Boudica]

No rethink on how I write that. When you are in an abusive situation in childhood, where you have no safe place, or person to go to, you are exposed to abuse, virtually every day, you feel you are in constant danger. Your fight or flight mechanism is constantly on, cortisol, affects brain development. At same time, the people you are supposed to be attached to are your parents, so you have huge attachment issues, which also affects brain development. So what the results are of the affects on brain, are individual.

Not a definition of complex trauma. Which I don't think I was saying when I said the abuse you are exposed to as a child is constant, if it is your caregiver who is doing the abuse and your fight or flight mechanism is triggered constantly. And as far as I understand, gets stuck in that state, if it goes on for too long. And as I said, brain development is affected or damaged.

In my case, I certainly was dissociating from a very young age. I certainly had nightmares about me trying to escape and my mother running after me and dragging me back into the house. Later on it was about her killing someone and burying them in the garden (but I think she actually did kill my grandmother, no proof, but doesn't matter it is what I thought happened as a child). And I had so much fear and panic attacks that I was bulimic to try and stop that feelings.

I wouldn't have known about triggers and flashbacks. I went from one abusive situation to the next. So I was in constant stress again. Certainly there were situations where I look back now I was reacting like I was triggered.

So when I developed full blown PTSD don't know, was it the constant childhood abuse, the being molested by my grade 5 teacher, my grandmother dying, after my mother got her to sign over the money and I think she killed her, or my ex trying to strangle me, and all the other stuff he did, my sister suiciding or the shock of seeing her like a zombie in the hospital the first time and the fear my mother could do that to me as well?

 

[Queen Boudica]

Great video by the Center on the Developing Child (CDC) at Harvard University about toxic stress and affect on stress alert system and brain development in early childhood.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Oh and here is a great video about ADHD. It is by Dr Russel Barkely, clinical professor of psychiatry and paediatrics and internationally recognized expert on attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD or ADD) in children and adults who has dedicated his career to widely disseminating science-based information about ADHD.

It is 2 hour talk he gave to parents of kids with ADHD. I had read plenty of books and got information from my psychologist who specialises in working with kids with ADHD and autism. But this talk really helped me understand ADHD and see exactly what my children are going through. And the information I posted previously taken from here. Realise this is off track, but since what I posted about ADHD was said to be only 50% accurate felt I needed to go back to the source from the experts.

 

[void]

@Lizio

I can relate to your description of the hostile chaos that was your childhood. I wish that was not your fate. I hope that you can find your way to some measure of peace.

Be well.:)

 

[Chava]

Bit on "complex trauma" referring to childhood (I hear what you're trying to say @Lizio ...I grew like this too...this is a nice summary):
Link Removed

And also assessment (and challenges and ranges of symptoms, like we've been talking about...the importance of trauma-informed assessment for traumatized kids or kids from abusive homes, or when there is a whole load of these symptoms and behaviors but not necessarily an admitted trauma/abuse story):
http://www.nctsn.org/trauma-types/complex-trauma/assessment

There is also a link for effects of complex trauma. Oh shit.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Thanks @Chava, those links are really useful. One of the reasons I am studying early child hood development, is there is a huge need for early intervention for traumatised kids and I think it is fundamental to understand it affects all areas of development. Brain, emotional, long term health. This is a really good talk about the effects of childhood trauma on health

https://www.ted.com/talks/nadine_burke_harris_how_childhood_trauma_affects_health_across_a_lifetime

 

[Chava]

Regarding the TED talk...she's a good doctor...looking deeper vs just writing out the prescriptions (even if prescriptions are still ultimately warranted). I understand the ACE connection, and the connection to poor health outcomes. It sort of aligns with childhood trauma, usually co-exists, but is also not the same. I don't have so many ACE factors (no poverty, parents in prison), but a couple damning ones (abuse and terrorizing) and a couple not listed because they are less common in childhood maybe...invasive medical procedures, life support, ICU without family (specialized unit in another city).

I think you could have a high ACE score and not necessarily have complex trauma. But it's quite likely if the ACE relates to chronic physical or sexual abuse. But all of the ACE factors are certainly stressors. It would also depend on what support the kid had (like if parents divorced, were kids still made to feel loved and supported and separate from the conflict), etc. Or like having one healthy parent (I had two mentally ill parents, but one was loving and non-abusive, though shutdown and narc-addicted...I think I do have empathy because of that connection, even if it didn't feel reliable and compounded my inability to believe in relationships).

 

[Ronin]

If I understood it, the disagreement here is simply over childhood multiple time trauma =/ automatically a complex trauma. There's nothing illogical with that assertion; neither it denies the severity of that trauma & the impact on an individual. Saying something is apples and not oranges doesn't mean it doesn't count.

& it may be helpful to look at trauma from both sides. Many times something classifiable as 'complex' in my life, was easier comprehensible & dealt with when viewed as single event, with multifaceted problems attached. Being stuck on categorization can be in the way of problem solving & thus, healing.

 

[Chava]

Many times something classifiable as 'complex' in my life, was easier comprehensible & dealt with when viewed as single event, with multifaceted problems attached. Being stuck on categorization can be in the way of problem solving & thus, healing.

This makes sense, but I also feel the reverse: it's sometimes helpful to understand it as ongoing and ambiguously tied together (especially where there is early developmental trauma), but I don't have to nail down "the event" because even if I have worked through some separate traumatic events, the more ambiguous ongoing make-up of it all helps me understand that I'm really just working on current trauma symptoms and connection issues...the events don't matter quite as much as resolving the symptoms I've been stuck with...this is also a little bit body-psych oriented, especially for complex trauma approaches/