Relationship Question

[christine12]

I am asking this question because I am again curious, do the supporters of PTSD sufferers tend to be advanced in emotional feelings in the begining of relationships and or long term relationships? Thank you

 

[Nicolette]

Hi christine12

I am sorry to bother you however would you mind clarifying what you mean by

advanced in emotional feelings

so that we can address your question appropriately thank you :)

It is the word 'advanced' which is throwing me.... did you mean heightened, deeper, more responsive etc? Also, if so compared to what please.

 

[christine12]

I am attempting to ask do the supporters of PTSD sufferers tend to be more ahead of there feelings than the sufferers there self? I have heard replies like " you are on one page but I havent caught up to that point yet , because it is hard for me to process my feelings?" Just curious on the feelings aspect of dating or relationship wise... trying to understand before I go down that path. As well as Jealousy in a relationship

 

[Dallas]

I'm finding that "real-time" vs "ptsd-time" is vastly different when having a relationship with a combat-ptsd sufferer. It's taken about 6 or 7 months to progress in our relationship to a level of maybe a 2 or 3 month relationship with a non-ptsd sufferer.

I don't mind, though. My tendency in the past has to move too fast in relationships. I am letting him make all the moves, and I like it that way. It makes me feel more secure in the relationship. When he wants to be with me, I really know he wants to be with me. There is no mistaking it.

When he needs time off, I let him be. I do my own thing, keep involved in my own life. I don't worry about where our relationship is at the moment. If I don't hear from him I know he is in God's hands, and I don't worry about it. When I give him space, he is in a really good place in his mind when he comes back.

He is very open and honest about what he is feeling and what his emotional needs are. I really respect that and trust him. I have never been with a man so open and honest emotionally. It is actually the most healthy relationship I've ever been.

I've been working on myself too...working on my own emotional, spiritual, physical, and intellectual needs; and not relying or requiring him to fill those for me. I rely mainly on God to fill my needs.

So when me and my guy are together it is gangbusters! We are both in a good place in our heads, and have a fantastic time together.

Sincerely,
Dallas.

 

[Dallas]

To answer your question more directly, no, I don't think supporters have more or greater feelings than PTSD sufferers. I think my boyfriend feels as deeply for me as I do for him, and has from the beginning. He just needs more "alone time" to process our relationship as well as what is going on in his own life...ie health issues, job issues, life in general.. Sometimes it's difficult enough just managing to get to the grocery store (for anyone)!

Sincerely,
Dallas.

 

[christine12]

wow Dallas sounds like things are similar ; I dont ask for time with him he requests to see me and I am alwats there for him when he is ready. That being said he seems to be opening up to me more and calling and having longer conversations with me more than once a day, and when we do get to see each other we laugh and enjoy eachothers company. I was asking opinions on the feelings levels because I know that it seems that sometimes the emotional level part can sometimes be hard and difficult for them to explain. I can tell that he cares a great deal by his actions not so much by words. I appreciate you sharing with me I was like I was looking in on my own relationship just not that far along

 

[Dallas]

I'm now volunteering about 8 hrs a week (that's only 4 hours, two days a week) in the surgical ICU at the VA hospital. That fills in some the gap for me, and the need to "give" in our relationship. It fills in some of the time my guy can't be with me because he's not feeling well, and gives me something constructive and useful to do. It lets me feel close to him, without bugging him! lol!

Sincerely,
Dallas.