Quick Way To Explain You May Be Triggered?

[TLight]

I see ptsd as a brain injury. I see nothing wrong in asking for accommodations, just in the same way someone who has lost an arm can't hold up certain heavy objects with just one arm. I don't see this as asking the world to adjust to our disorder in extreme ways, but as taking care of ourselves, which is a basic right.

Being exposed to triggers and using coping mechanisms is a good thing, don't get me wrong. It is exposure therapy. But you can't be exposed constantly, or it will set you back and limit your life. It will make you less functional.

If I'm with friends and a huge anxiety attack comes on in a shopping mall and it is about to bring me to my knees, I see nothing wrong in asking a friend for help in order to get me out of there. Sometimes coping strategies don't work and there is no need for needless suffering. Haven't we suffered enough?

It's sort of invalidating to yourself to tell yourself you have no right to ask the outside world for a little help when you need it. Other people ask for help when they need it.

I went to my churches covenant circle and the topic got into a couple of people talking about a difficult time in their life where they had to go to the psyche ward. I was HUGELY triggered........I had no idea what to say upon my turn, as I've spent most of my life in and out of psyche wards. My lovely neighbor and friend who was there and the only one who knows about me was very apologetic I had to go through that. She understands ptsd like no one I know and used to be a therapist. Now she sort of keeps and eye on the topics and warns me if they might be triggering and lets me decide if I want to go or not.

Personally, I'd rather not be triggered ever again. The stress has practically destroyed my health and it's no way to live. If I can ask for help or do anything else that will minimize my chances of being triggered, I will definitely do it.

A key word or color sounds really good to me. Taking care of you is nothing to be ashamed of or avoid. You are not hurting anyone else by this. So I respectfully disagree with Albatross.

 

[desiderata310]

I try to find ways to fight through mine. It's exhausting but it is what it is! I can't expect people to change around me and I wouldn't want them to. I don't want this to be an issue forever.

One of my triggers is people standing in the doorway of my office. I have more chairs in my office and encourage people to come in and sit down. If they don't, I get up and join them in the doorway so I don't feel closed in. In those off times when I have people in my office and it doesn't make sense to get up and join them in the doorway, I concentrate on breathing and keep reminding myself that I am ok and safe. Doesn't always work but I haven't completely lost it in those instances either.

All that said, with yoga the most you can say is: 'such and such is difficult for me right now, I may excuse myself. Position yourself close to an exit and move out as quietly as possible.

If you are taking Kundalini there are exercises that will, by their very nature, illicit a very emotional response. I was SHOCKED when I openly wept in a class. It was also a huge release. I happened to be friends with the instructor and he had used those exercises because he felt that since I was there that night they would be beneficial for me. He was not at all surprised by my response. (he knew nothing about my PTSD- only that I had been through a lot of difficult things in the very recent past)

 

[Justmehere]

@ellienad This is a weird link I'm going to make but bear with me. I train service dogs, and sometimes people try to pet them and play with her when I am to tired or too overwhelmed to handle it. I have learned to say, "it's not a good idea to pet this dog right now." It works really well - better than anything I've tried. People take it really well, and I don't have to explain much. I started using this kind of phrase in a dance class - "that move is not a good idea for me right now." My instructor is pretty understanding and respectful of everyone staying in their limits so they don't end up injured - so this phrase works well and it keeps me from avoiding the class all together. For me, it's not about avoiding physical injury, but recognizing my limits and not re-traumatizing myself by ending up having a flashback mid-class. It helps me be there to dance at all.

I take a yoga class, but I can't really handle it for long without becoming noticeably anxious. So I stay past feeling uncomfortable, but not to the point of panic. When it's too much, I just politely step out. I told the instructor before the class, "I want to do this, but I need time to build up to doing all of it." I asked if it was ok to stay until I couldn't. She was very accepting of it. She also encouraged me to modify anything I needed to modify. It's gone well.

With my dentist, I told her, "I have PTSD and I feel triggered. I need a moment to just berate slow." She stopped, asked me to tell her if we needed to reschedule. I told her no, I just need a moment. She told me many dentists are used to nervous patients, and that it helped her when I said I had PTSD and I'm triggered. In that case, she didn't need any other info. I was surprised she understood so well. I'm still working on how to handle doctors. They are a huge trigger for me.

I think if you are going to interact with someone on a regular basis, saying something ahead of time is helpful. Sometimes people need more specifics, sometimes less.

I think sometimes people can go a little too far in asking for accommodations, but it doesn't sound like you are asking for much, if anything at all for others to do. It doesn't sound like you are asking them to change the yoga class for everyone. Exposure to triggers works best not when we completely overwhelm ourselves, but push past some discomfort and keep at it.

It doesn't sound like you are asking the world to bend over backwards for you, but maybe seeking to state what you are going to do to take care of yourself? It can really help others not take it the wrong way if you need to back up or not do something you are not yet ready to do if they know in advance or even in the moment that something personal came up and a particular move is just not something you can do right now. It can be an excellent way to practice and develop good self care and boundaries. This is true for people with and without PTSD. We are all just human with limits to what we can do.

 

[Meadowsweet]

You do though realize that that's just another way to ask for an accommodation though right?

To ask an exercise class to stop for you, or to ask that they not do certain exercises, is asking others to accommodate your needs. To choose not to participate in certain exercises is accommodating yourself.

Also, different people have different goals to aid their recovery because the nuances of trauma have different effects. Recovery is about finding the balanced way, so for example, if a person excuses poor behavior and gets angry when the world doesn't accommodate them, then what you are suggesting here may be a therapeutic way to proceed..

However, if a person allows others to tell them what they are, what they want, what they ought to be doing etc, then that person needs to learn to a) recognise what they like and don't like, and b) have to learn how to communicate that with other people.

So what is good advice for you may be bad advice for another. So I think when somebody says, thank you for your input, but that's not right for me, it isn't helpful to frame it again in a leading question.

@ellienad I think you are right to be noticing that you have a choice. However, at an exercise class, it is a choice. You actually needn't say anything at all. Just go get a sip of water and miss that move out, or if you prefer, just say there's some moves that feel uncomfortable, just in case your instructor is wondering why you don't do them.

With regards to medical appointments, in order for them to do their job efficiently, they do need to know if it makes you particularly anxious. Obviously my GP has my medical records, but my dentist has a form that asks about conditions that may effect treatment, ie high blood pressure, allergies, anxiety. And I answer it honestly and say that I suffer with anxiety. It's something to help them adapt their treatment to their client, which is professional.

Although I have disagreed with Albatross, I also see that telling everyone everything can be taking speaking up for yourself too far. I think part of being assertive is to recognise where you stand and assert your own needs, but also to look realistically at where the other person stands and what their needs are. Professional people need to know enough to help them to do their job, they don't need to know the why's or the details.

 

[MapOfOhio]

"Just to let you know, I have a bad reaction to (-) so if anything happens I'll just need a few minutes to calm down and gather my thoughts".

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I don't understand the big deal with asking for an accommodation. I don't know what the political climate is like elsewhere, but in the USA right now, the right wing and FOX news make you want to hang yourself for being a leech of society if you dare seek out assistance in any way. Yeah, I TOTALLY asked for this...*rolls eyes*.

I seek out accommodations and I am NOT ashamed to ask! If you were in a wheelchair should you be shamed for wanting buildings to have accessible entrances? (Yes, this too is an accommodation!) Why should we feel shame for seeking out accommodations for mental disorders? There is no shame, and if you feel the need to explain to people, then I say do it! I get accommodations at my school, and again, I am not ashamed of this as it is simply leveling the playing field. Other people do not have issues which can hinder getting an education such as abnormally high anxiety and concentration issues. I can do the work and I know the material, so I don't see it as unreasonable to seek out accommodations which make life just a little bit easier for me so that I can cope with my disorder just a little bit better.

Shaming someone for asking for an accommodation could possibly be seen along the same vein as "suck it up without medication or therapy because everyone else can get through life without medication or therapy and you should too!" (I think you see where I am going with this!)

If you feel the need to let someone know why you may need to dismiss yourself from an activity or take a break, or if you need to let your dentist or doctor know about being triggered, then I think it is best to let them know ahead of time. It may be as simple as saying "I may need to take a break from time to time. I just wanted to let you know ahead of time in case you see me leave at some point." Or, you could tell your doctor or dentist "I am dealing with anxiety and may need to ask you to stop." (Believe me when I say that Dentists know about anxiety all too well....I think most of us have had a "traumatic" experience at the dentist at some point!)

I think it is better to be pro-active rather than having to explain yourself after the fact. If you are pro-active, you are asserting yourself in a positive way rather than simply hiding and *fingers crossed* hoping everything goes well. So kudos to you for trying to take control of your situations in a positive way. I don't see you as asking for the world to change. I see you as trying to work through difficult situations in the best way possible.