Hello all,
I have only realized lately that I have PTSD. I grew up in an alcoholic home. My Father was an alcoholic who tried to control it most of his life. He was a kind man and thankfully there was no abuse involved but it still affected me. I believe this was the beginning of my hyper-vigilance. I got married at 18 to a man who needs an extreme amount of independence. This has created a lot of conflict in our marriage.
Then 5 years ago I watched my Mother, Father and Sister die within 6 months of each other. My Mom died first of a heart aneurism. I was holding her hand when she died. I was handling her death fairly well when 5 1/2 months later my Dad and Sister were hit by a drunk driver as they pulled out of the church parking lot. They were horribly injured and my Dad had to be airlifted to a different hospital. So my surviving sister stayed with my oldest sister and I went with my Dad. I stayed all night with my Dad and had just gone home to sleep when I was called to my Sister's hospital. They performed CPR on her for 3 hours and had us watch the last hour to see that they had tried everything possible to save her. For that last hour they kept getting her heart started again but it would stop once they stopped CPR. Finally we asked them to stop and she died. She was 58. My Dad lived for two weeks. We started out hopeful that he would recover but as time went on we realized that there was no hope so we removed him from life support. He lived for 5 days after that with my sister and I taking turns being with him so he wouldn't be alone when he died. My Sister and I were both there when he died and it was a peaceful experience.
I was a mess after going through this and it has really taken a toll on my 27 year marriage. We are separated right now and going to marriage counseling. My grief counselor was the person who diagnosed me with PTSD and I am considering going to a counselor on my own also.
So that, in a nutshell, is my story. I am gaining a lot of insight reading the many posts on this forum!
I have only realized lately that I have PTSD. I grew up in an alcoholic home. My Father was an alcoholic who tried to control it most of his life. He was a kind man and thankfully there was no abuse involved but it still affected me. I believe this was the beginning of my hyper-vigilance. I got married at 18 to a man who needs an extreme amount of independence. This has created a lot of conflict in our marriage.
Then 5 years ago I watched my Mother, Father and Sister die within 6 months of each other. My Mom died first of a heart aneurism. I was holding her hand when she died. I was handling her death fairly well when 5 1/2 months later my Dad and Sister were hit by a drunk driver as they pulled out of the church parking lot. They were horribly injured and my Dad had to be airlifted to a different hospital. So my surviving sister stayed with my oldest sister and I went with my Dad. I stayed all night with my Dad and had just gone home to sleep when I was called to my Sister's hospital. They performed CPR on her for 3 hours and had us watch the last hour to see that they had tried everything possible to save her. For that last hour they kept getting her heart started again but it would stop once they stopped CPR. Finally we asked them to stop and she died. She was 58. My Dad lived for two weeks. We started out hopeful that he would recover but as time went on we realized that there was no hope so we removed him from life support. He lived for 5 days after that with my sister and I taking turns being with him so he wouldn't be alone when he died. My Sister and I were both there when he died and it was a peaceful experience.
I was a mess after going through this and it has really taken a toll on my 27 year marriage. We are separated right now and going to marriage counseling. My grief counselor was the person who diagnosed me with PTSD and I am considering going to a counselor on my own also.
So that, in a nutshell, is my story. I am gaining a lot of insight reading the many posts on this forum!
