After an extremely stressful year or so, I'm finally getting back to the things that make me feel capable.
I have been using my audible subscription to compensate for not having as much time to read, and I'm making time each week to read a book on paper, too.
I bought a charger for my mp3 player (an outdated but beloved Zune).
I have a bunch of crafts lined up but don't feel pressure to do them, and I just (just now, right this second) subscribed to a monthly yarn club even though I feel extreme anxiety about spending money due to years of financial abuse. I'm so proud of this.
I finally got made time to put yoga back into my life. After a terrible knee injury, and then no time because of work and school, constant pain and exhaustion, it lead to depression and a general sense of weakness, and I finally brought it back. After only a few days of this new routine my pain is less and I feel strong and capable again.
I'm starting to feel calm during external crises again, and it's wonderful. I'm able to be present for my husband when his depression hits. I'm able to distinguish between what is real and what is my PTSD again. It makes it easier to speak up, to express how I'm feeling. And even though I'm taking much more time for myself than I have in the past year, the calm it brings makes me feel like I have more time to do other things, too. It's funny how that works.
I also am transitioning to a better position at work (better for my mental health, even if it's not a good job). I think the change will be permanent, because a lot of the staff have said to my boss that they like when I'm the expo, or that I'm the strongest person in that position and I should stay there. Someone even told me that when I'm in the window it keeps her calm and she feels like she can do her job better.
I just feel good. Better than I have in months.
I have been using my audible subscription to compensate for not having as much time to read, and I'm making time each week to read a book on paper, too.
I bought a charger for my mp3 player (an outdated but beloved Zune).
I have a bunch of crafts lined up but don't feel pressure to do them, and I just (just now, right this second) subscribed to a monthly yarn club even though I feel extreme anxiety about spending money due to years of financial abuse. I'm so proud of this.
I finally got made time to put yoga back into my life. After a terrible knee injury, and then no time because of work and school, constant pain and exhaustion, it lead to depression and a general sense of weakness, and I finally brought it back. After only a few days of this new routine my pain is less and I feel strong and capable again.
I'm starting to feel calm during external crises again, and it's wonderful. I'm able to be present for my husband when his depression hits. I'm able to distinguish between what is real and what is my PTSD again. It makes it easier to speak up, to express how I'm feeling. And even though I'm taking much more time for myself than I have in the past year, the calm it brings makes me feel like I have more time to do other things, too. It's funny how that works.
I also am transitioning to a better position at work (better for my mental health, even if it's not a good job). I think the change will be permanent, because a lot of the staff have said to my boss that they like when I'm the expo, or that I'm the strongest person in that position and I should stay there. Someone even told me that when I'm in the window it keeps her calm and she feels like she can do her job better.
I just feel good. Better than I have in months.
