Relationships And Independence

[Britt.f7]

My husband considers me very independent. We have a mutual relationship. Sometimes things are balanced sometimes they're not. I think that is normal in a relationship. No mind games though, too much respect. Bugs me to hear friends and family who do have relationships like that. I have one sister whose husband doesn't like her being away from him. Controlling and dependent and so not my idea of a relationship.

There are times when I think my husband is too serving to me, or dependent on what I want or say because I think he sympathizes with me too much. I want him to have his own mind. I'm hopefully raising my children the same way. To be respectful but to have their own mind.

I've been in enough relationships where the man thought he was the head of the household and I should be the submissive. Hard to go along with that when I didn't have a dad around growing up, my mom was strong, and I was raised around strong women.

 

[Meadowsweet]

That sounds really healthy Britt.

 

[Britt.f7]

Thank you Meadowsweet. :)

 

[LizardViolet]

I've got a good relationship. It is possible.

My spouse and I are both very smart people. (He's a scientist with a Ph.D.) We're also very independent. When we came together, we were already complete people who knew ourselves pretty well. We just really like each other, we find each other attractive (still, after more than 16 years together), and we have respect for one another. We have conflicts and moods, but the bottom line is that we have made a commitment to one another, and (his philosophy, with which I agree) if you TALK about issues, you can work them out.

Even if you are very smart, it is possible to find a partner. And it is possible to find a relationship with mutual respect and affection. It's OK not to settle. I had given up on finding a life partner (because I am non-monogamous, and at the time that was pretty rare) but then I met the person who is now my husband. I would have been fine being single forever, I am a complete person on my own, but my relationship really enriches my life.

 

[Meadowsweet]

That sounds like everything that I would like to be possible Lizardviolet. Thank you for sharing, it gives hope for the future.