Resentments in therapy

[Carpman]

Hi all, therapy is going ok at moment, starting brain spotting soon and emdr, one thing is I mentioned to therapist about resentments, since the session I’ve been feeling quite angry with the world, I think it brought up lot of stuff, just wandering about other people’s thoughts on the subject, my therapist said to just show compassion.

 

[Freida]

oh yea -- It's not uncommon for me to leave resenting the hell out of everything around me. I've even had to stop watching the news because it just pisses me off even more. My T says the same thing -- practice compassion. ya. right. :banghead:

If you figure it out first let me know! :laugh:

 

[Friday]

One thing I think AA / NA does exceptionally well is to break down the concept of resentment into its component pieces, and teach/lay a different path out. Clearly, their focus is on addiction, so there are some things that won’t apply (unless you struggle with substance abuse or addiction) and other things that are come at quite blithely / are more footnotes to addiction, that are extremely difficult for people with PTSD or don’t apply at all (like ‘what was your part’ in a victim crime). But whilst most resources have single-type answers for resentment? AA/NA reeeeeally does break it down into several dozen smaller pieces, each to master, and reshape.

Just as an example? One of the pieces resentment gets broken down into is “The Triangle Of Self Obsession”... with resentment (past) anger (present) fear (future) creating a cascading effect, each feeding into the others to keep them spinning in either a perpetual motion machine, or any of those three things kicking off the other two... so a person isn’t able to ever really deal with one piece, before the next one takes over. (Until one learns how to).

^^^
This particular area of AA/NA recovery? (4th & 5th steps) Is strooooooongly cautioned against doing on your own... because most people use both the pieces AND the tools to beat themselves up with, rather than to help themselves. Which is also my caution. If you decide to use addiction recovery resources on resentment (fear, anger, guilt, shame, self obsession, et al)? Like learning to use power tools, It’s best done with someone who can keep you from cutting off your fingers or an arm, just switching the machine on.

 

[Carpman]

Think I just had particularly bad day yesterday, day after therapy normally does that, Doing park run today:) thanks for replying:)

 

[Mach123]

It has progressed for me in a positive way. Now I can at least turn it off (not always)

But for years I suffered thinking being triggered = what they called resentment. Not so.

I was always able to see what was wrong or how I'd been wronged or hurt and what I'd done wrong (the big one)

But it's not the thing in front of me that's bothering me that I'm lying awake at night obsessed with, it's not resentment. It's the trauma hooking onto it.

Now I can let it go a lot. I just won't do it it's like I don't care I can't do that to myself anymore. (I hope)

 

[hithere]

I think the resentments are "stuck" in there with the trauma, never allowed to be expressed or couldn't get expressed. It would natural to be resentful after having whatever trauma you are dealing with. I didn't know it until this last round of therapy that ptsd was kept in my body because of "stuck points"-- and I finally realized I actually believed that I was going to be killed, murdered, ended if I expressed any anger or resentment, period. So when I saw that, it started the whole emotional unravel.

I'm surprised your therapist would say try to be more compassionate. that irks me. Unless you are talking during the emdr sessions and this is your "replacement" thoughts... ??? I'd say, fully allow the resentments and let them run their course as they leave your body.