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Resilience

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I don't think it's a black and white thing. I think a person can be very resilient in one life domain but not very resilient in another, and so I think there are multiple reasons why a person may or may not be more or less resilient in one place or another.

I think it's very complicated.
 
This is a very complex question @Teasel. I'm defining resilience as the ability to adapt after adverse events.
I also agree that is can vary across domains. I think that it can also vary across time. I think that things like how full your cup is, the drive to overcome things and supports have a huge impact.

I want to clarify what I mean by drive. I am not saying that someone who lacks resilience, lacks drive. They may have lots of drive but not be highly resilient because of other factors. I do think that part of being resilient is having the want or the drive to change things.
 
Agree with everyone that it's a complex issue.

What's involved with resilience? Backbone, courage, determination, being thick skinned, experience?

I think I had thought it was things like this - qualities in a person, or not as the case may be.

But recently doing a test I saw mentioned here has me thinking about it more. So typically I forget the name of the test, something about testing for childhood adversity, something like that, anyway I did save my score - it was

ACE score 6
Resiliency score 2

Which I think was fairly high on childhood adversity, and fairly low on the resiliency score.

The resiliency score was entirely based on how many sources of social support you had growing up.

And Ok I'm not a kid anymore by a long shot but it had me questioning my idea of resilience being to do with positive strengths and qualities in your personality.

if you grew up as a kid with very little social support, then the moment you become an adult you're not going to suddenly be over that lack?

And if you still have very little social support, and are going through difficult times then maybe it's understandable to struggle?

I also agree that is can vary across domains. I think that it can also vary across time. I think that things like how full your cup is, the drive to overcome things and supports have a huge impact.

I want to clarify what I mean by drive. I am not saying that someone who lacks resilience, lacks drive. They may have lots of drive but not be highly resilient because of other factors. I do think that part of being resilient is having the want or the drive to change things.
Yes I'm sure drive is important. Still am thinking of something like drive as being some kind of quality inherant in a person.

And wondering if resilience, is more a measure of supporting factors a person has in their life?

So Googling the topic I came across a website that talks all about resilience in NHS workers and it says -

What supports our resilience?

Research has identified a number of specific factors that enable an individual to ‘bounce back’ and perform at their best in any workplace.
How can you best nurture these factors that help us to maintain our sense of wellbeing in the workplace, particularly when times get tougher:
~ Trusting relationships with line managers and colleagues
~ Emotional support outside the workplace through family, friends and community
~ Supportive and visible management where there’s also clear communication, roles and responsibilities and accurate information available
~ A sense of being valued and recognised for work well done
~ Workplace self-esteem or identity supported through the encouragement of autonomy and the freedom to act and take responsible risks
~ Hope/ belief that things can change
~ Perception of being able to cope is high
NHS what is resilience?

Though the last 2 are about hope and confidence in being able to cope noth8ng else there is to do with inherent qualities in a person. Most of it sources of social support.
 
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I think this is a topic that has been so commodified in order to create sort of us versus them mentality especially in the healthcare systems. One may often hear with real qualifications such as socioeconomic, health, experience, support, relationships, jobs etc. to show a person is resilient.
Those with resilience and those without. I think we can all agree death is for everybody. and most humans who are alive regardless of what experience they had, have resilience. Even to be absolutely crazy, psychotic, homeless, and walking aimless, I would consider resilience because even they are not dead yet and they could have. There is something that keeps them wake up every morning and says I am alive even if they are not conscious - there they are! I personally try to steer away from being called resilient or strong on what? but prefer that I have hope to be alive until I am not. I have seen the streets of India and just shook my head to say...what is resilience? Indeed what is it? I still do not know honestly.
 
some kind of quality inherant in a person.

And wondering if resilience, is more a measure of supporting factors a person has in their life?
I think this is really key.

I have two basic kinds of resiliency:

- Is my LIFE is set up to handle whatever is thrown at me?
- Am I myself flexible and adaptive enough to react/respond with ease?

If my life is set up? I don’t have to be resilient. Because my life is handling it. Very much like the Stress Cup… as long as my life is absorbing the blows, I don’t feel them // As long as my stress levels are constantly being bled off adding new stress isn’t overflowing the cup. So tremendous amounts of -whatever- can be coming my way, but it doesn’t matter how I, me, myself am doing in that moment. Because -whatever- is being sorted before it hits me.

^^^ I think that’s one of the key reasons attempts to evaluate a person’s resiliency first look from the outside in. External sources of support, energy, shielding, etc. are highly predictive in buffering -whatever- is coming at a person.

WITHOUT that body armor, though? One has to look at the individual themselves. And THAT is a moving target. The most resilient person in the world gets tired. And how resilient they are fresh v tired? Is going to look different. As in totally healthy to psychotic break different.
 
One of the things I’ve learned is that my “type” of person… who is outstanding IN a crisis, and then melts down afterward? Is actually being a helluva lot more resilient than when I become numb to things, and stop melting down. <<< Alhough that can LOOK more resilient? I -and most people with this pattern- also stop being outstanding in crisis, but start handling them reflectively/ by rote/ without any kind of passion/clarity attached. A homogenising “blah” is both not adapting to changjng circumstance, and far more likely to break/be in crisis their own self, fairly soon. Healthy people? Resilient people? Are not uniformly one way in all situations at all times. Someone who is very close to breaking, however, often is. As is the opposite, someone who is spiking out in wildly different ways in the wrong situation. Shifting into 5th gear when they need to be in 1st, and vice versa.

The meltdown actually stabilises me, and resets the mechanism.

Sorta like drawing a bow string.

If I don’t ever release the string the arrow just falls to the ground, and over time the string stops being able to be released at all, having stretched to either uselessness or to the point of breaking. A resilient bowstring is one that is pulled AND released. Not just pulled and held indefinitely.

Or playing a stringed instrument.

If you don’t loosen the strings when you’re done playing? The strings themselves will stop holding true notes, and the instrument will begin to warp, no longer creating the sound it was once capable of.

So when I’m retraining my own PERSONAL resiliency? (As opposed to setting up my life to absorb blows.) That’s what I tend to base my thinking, around. Not being the same, all the time, but controlled bursts or deliberate melodies played… and then… letting the tension out of the strings, in prep for the the next shot or next song.
 
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