Retraumatization Through Sharing?

[Grace11]

I've been extremely down today without reason (without any NEW reason, that is). I've got a feeling it is due to a conversation I had last night with one of my very close friends. I had not told her about my traumatic car accident or my divorce. Some of you are probably wondering how I could call her my close friend....but I haven't talked to many more than those who happened to be around me at the time because I don't want to have to go back and relive it all in telling the story. At the same time, I recognize this is like throwing roadblocks at my friendships. I can't continue having close relationships with those without telling them, but telling them seems to re-traumatize me and set me back. I'm in between that stupid rock and hard place! Or something like that....not sure how to handle it. This is becoming a problem in my life, and I do not need any more of those. I don't know if I'm looking for advice, or just for someone to say they have been there, too. It's all jumbled in my head. It's like I'm self-punishing and isolating myself from those who would actually support me....

 

[Grace11]

I should add that as soon as I posted this and walked away, I was immediately irritated with myself because I feel like I'm victimizing myself or asking for pity. I absolutely hate feeling like this.

 

[Ananda]

It wasn't so much my trauma that I've had trouble being open about - but the emotional struggles I've had in the aftermath. I'm finding it to be very theraputic to start opening up & being more honest w/my friends & family - it's also making me more honest with myself. If you have people in your life that you can trust to give you positive support, I think it's important to appreciate that you have that and not be afraid let them know when you need thier support - even if it's just being there to listen & care. I don't see the need to describe your trauma's in detail - but let your friend know that you had these traumatic experiences and try to explain your struggles with them. I think it may help your healing progess.
~hugs :)