Retraumatize In Therapy

[Cancelled]

I have been thinking how many times I retraumatize myself.I keep a journal and revisiting the past in my writing makes me anxious, even depressed as I have not yet been able to move on. Is it healthy to retraumatize yourself so often in therapy? Does it keep you stuck and not moving forward with solutions, a sense of movement toward healing, information to help you deal with your symptoms. This could go on adnauseum.

 

[EveHarrington]

No, it’s not good. You are reinforcing these thoughts in your mind so they are actually more prominent. This is why processing isn’t just talking about your trauma ad nauseam.

 

[OliveJewel]

I think titration is the key. Drop by drop, coping skills, learning how and when to pull back. I’ve heard it said that every time you remember something it changes just a little, just by the act of remembering it. Exposure therapy utilizes this concept. I couldn’t have done it without a professional compassionate witness to stay with me. Her presence when I would remember something awful was part of the process of changing the memory. Instead of the feelings of being alone and confused attached to the memory, the feelings of being heard and held (and dare I say loved) were attached to it. And instead of the narrative of “what’s wrong with me” being attached to the memory, the narrative of “he’s bad and dangerous, not me” was attached to it.

Slowly slowly slowly with a compassionate witness, it can shift from retraumatizing to rising above and letting go.

 

[arfie]

i like the bone analogy for this aspect of my recovery. when broken/shattered bones are left to healing badly, it is necessary to re-break the bones in order to reset them for proper healing. within this analogy, parts of my psyche were broken during the traumas and left to heal badly for a substantial number of years. the re-breaking is a necessary piece of the healing.

some days i like that analogy better than other days and often wonder if the process will go on adnauseum but the verbal vomit seems to be easing. seems. . .

stepping small and praying big. . .

 

[ziter]

Processing *is* talking about the trauma. But to the right people -- and I don't think it's healthy forcing yourself to "confront it".
Wanting to control the healing process can sometimes yield some unfortunate results, like repeated retraumatization. Talk when you're ready.

I agree with @OliveJewel. Without a compassionate witness it's downright impossible to heal.
It has been said that trauma is created in relations, and is healed in relations. There's some truth to it.

 

[Friday]

Just touching base that you’re not mixing up an increase of symptoms, which is normal/necessary/wanted, and retraumatization?

 

[Cancelled]

No I think it is retraumatization that is taking up time. I have been in a good place for a long time. I then started listening to a doctor on line who has many videos and there I am… back at the beginning. I don’t think I have been suppressing the beginning of the trauma and have worked very well with CBT but just listening to the videos stirred up the memories and I need a break. Don’t have a T yet. I am worried about being put on meds as a solution.

 

[Cancelled]

No I think it is retraumatization that is taking up time. I have been in a good place for a long time. I then started listening to a doctor on line who has many videos and there I am… back at the beginning. I don’t think I have been suppressing the beginning of the trauma and have worked very well with CBT but just listening to the videos stirred up the memories and I need a break. Don’t have a T yet. I am worried about being put on meds as a solution.

Just going over everyone’s input. I have learned and practiced CBT skills and it has been helpful for sure. However, I don’t do intimacy well. That makes it easier for me to deal with this.. I have friends and I am warm and they would not know I have intimacy issues. I think I have put off T because I absolutely do not trust that relationship with a T. Tried it. Put on anxiety meds and that person did not do talk therapy.I don’t want enmeshment with another person and I certainly don’t want to go over the trauma which I have worked through with much pain. I want to go forward. This video has a reparenting aspect to it. I started working on that which required me to go back and look at what was so very much missing in my life from the time I was little . Maybe what is happening is grief. I am not in denial of my past but maybe working with reparenting I am grieving over the loss of my life and what it could have been. Maybe this is not retraumatization but a grief of loss of my life and what could have been. I can’t stay here. I need to learn how reparenting works and look at this going back as a good thing. Thoughts? I tried another T and all she did was talk at me and diagnosed me with bipolarII in one hour. Trauma never got talked about. I don’t have typical symptoms of bipolar II. Fearful of Ts.