Ritual Abuse

[Okuw]

Anyone whose parent hurt them via incest and also by placing them into a ritual abuse circle? :(

They used elecrtrocution, colors, brainwashing statements, symbols to induce a DID kind of system.

I can't go any further than that right now.

What is helpful when healing from this kind of abuse to deal with Ritual Abuse trauma?

 

[Vosot]

Anyone whose parent hurt them via incest and also by placing them into a ritual abuse circle? :(

Yes.

What is helpful when healing from this kind of abuse to deal with Ritual Abuse trauma?

One step at a time.

What has helped me is my trauma therapist and having support...this site being my only support.

I broke through the cult beliefs and just working my way to the core of that. But one tiny step at a time and having a good trauma therapist is my best advise. Its a marathon and not a sprint.

:hug: from someone that gets it!

 

[Imul]

Massive therapy and EMDR. (((hugs))) if you accept

This is a type of h3ll that is layered into the brain and conditioning. Many of the people that I have known that went through it...committed to learning self-care and long term therapy because one it is necessary in order to heal and two because it breaks through many angles of the conditioning.

You are not alone.

 

[Okuw]

I was abused by my dad at home who used a number of mind control and fear techniques that went in line with the group he exposed me to.

I now see that he was likely hurt in the same way and kept it going with his own children from being damaged.

I am unable to remember much from the ritual abuse, which is surfacing years into processing parental abuse traumas.

Because it was a ring, I am aware that others must have been hurt and feel very odd that my BFFs growing up were likely also abused. I feel isolated from them from the awkwardness of how to address this.

One of them keeps asking me a single question that is like a code that doesn't make sense to me as to how to answer. I can tell she is asking me something and I am afraid.

 

[Nupemi]

If she is asking you the question, but it's in kind of a code rather than straight out, maybe that's because she's afraid too?

A strategy I've used with other survivors is to ask them about it in writing, because it's less confrontational, and you've got better control of what you say in the moment and what you divulge about yourself. For example, "I feel like you're asking me if I was abused...like you"

If you can reach out to a survivor from the same ring, it may be incredibly empowering for both of you, and massively reduce the feeling that you're going through this alone.

Certainly on this site, you aren't alone. My personal story is different to yours, but with similar issues. And I know there are others here who have gone through very (very) similar abuse.

As said above, baby steps, and trying to be gentle with yourself. You will get there:)

 

[Jucenuh]

yes. A good T plus a lot of patience.

Be prepared for lots of confusing moments when different parts realise for themselves "ohhh! That wasn't how it should be" and then having a meltdown.

Slow and steady, keep writing. Don't shut out the other parts. Easier said than done and I am not very good at being open.

 

[Awak]

This is the type of abuse I received as well. I tried to talk about it with a therapist. I didn't go into too much detail. She said she knows it happens, which was validating as many people think it's false memories from the brain trying to deal with other trauma. My therapy didn't work out because she started to try to fix me, reinforced my disorder, was condescending, and judgemental. I felt traumatized by her because she wasn't too supportive or encouraging. I have met other people that know what I'm talking about so I know I'm not totally alone. I just find it frustrating when people think they have it all figured out. The psychiatric meds don't get rid of memories. It's a complicated situation. I just have to be really careful who I surround myself with. The worst type of person is someone that thinks they can fix me with their huge ego when they have no idea what I had to deal with. I like to help myself and use other coping techniques that are empowering. I believe in the self care, the writing, the health care. I just can not put my faith into another human being to help anymore because they don't usually understand or judge. I have even changed my story and edited out the ring aspect and still found mental health workers to be unhelpful. I have to do it myself. :( It's lonely but I can make it.

 

[Aved]

That sounds lonely awak. That woman sounds like a crappy therapist. I really hope you find someone you can trust and be open to. It's too hard on your own.
I know what you mean about the thrill some get from playing the role of helper - yes some therapists too.
But that's her bad, her failings as a human being - not yours!

 

[Ufi]

Address the layer you can safely, at the time, and nothing more than that.

Address the trauma the way it presents for a time, find grounding with your life & continuing, don't spin yourself into deep questions like what's the meaning in all of it and what part of it is more true and not, that comes with time & clarity and from a point of distance, on its own.

Basically the same advice: baby steps, the kinds of steps you can make at the time, without internal or external collapse.

 

[Age]

One of them keeps asking me a single question that is like a code

Go for the need, the emotional need, of it, not the code, if the code's likely to be bullshit.
Go for understanding the messenger when the message is obscure.

 

[Okuw]

Thank you. Okay, she feels guilty for stealing from my family. She wants validation and understanding without having to be vulnerable and actually discuss her feelings or what happened (her trauma) that made her do it.

I told her that I don't care that she stole our newspaper, and I forgive her for it, "kids stuff."

But she asked me the same question again. She is haunted by what she did (too much superego). And she might not even remember that we already discussed it. Or my reply didn't satisfy the deep need in her to be understood by someone there.

I think it is the last part, the deep inner need to be "less alone" in the past trauma time by being validated somehow by someone who was there.

I think that because it is a need I also feel toward her but also do not wish to risk the friendship for or risk being hurt.

 

[Ugej]

She is haunted by what she did (too much superego).

Would going through a list of alternatives get her somewhere?
As in, okay kiddo, what else could have we done, and where would that lead?