General Room-Mate Has PTSD

[Pencil]

Apologies for my attitude towards BPD. My excuse is that whenever I think of it, I still think of my roommate with a piece of rough driftwood right in my face, hissing: 'I will f*cking kill you!!'

I guess it's time for me to get over that :)

 

[HëllaBubz]

Pencil! Don't be sorry, it was just a bit of a wry moment for me, thinking "f*ck, how did the other half NOT kill me all this time?" You don't remember all the things you used to do once things settle down, so the above posts were like a walk down memory lane.....one where I hid my face and felt ashamed for being such an arsehole to live with!

And it's a condition with roots in MANY different causes, so it's a bloody messy business when you mix it up with PTSD.....lovely dinner time cocktail that!

 

[Abstract]

I think it is when admitting responsibility feels dangerous enough to the persons ego that doing so is something they feel they need to avoid at all costs. It feels life threatening. And yes it is that inability to come back and be able to accept responsibility that incredibly damaging and difficult to deal with in relationships.

As far as I understand it one of the main central issues is finding it too threatening to accept projections and take possession of personal pain and vulnerabilities. I don't know if you happened to watch Sex Rehab which was an American reality programme on sex addiction. One of the contestants was diagnosed in the show and think her behaviour so very accurately represented an extreme case of exactly what you are describing. For example she kept thinking that people were laughing at her and would NOT accept it that they were not. They were not even smiling so it was total paranoia.

But again I don't think everyone with BPD is exactly as described here. I certainly have known people who are willing and able to accept responsibility. Its just like no two people with PTSD are the same. We are still individuals and the criteria give us a range of options and we do react differently.

And Bub, you exactly present that here! :) You are taking responsibility even if you find it difficult in the moment. So huge credit to you. I always love the way you face things so directly!

 

[Pencil]

So huge credit to you.

Indeed!

 

[Abstract]

Bub, that particular dinner time cocktail sounds decidedly painful! Yikes. My own personality issues are quite enough thank you. There are aspects of BPD that I relate to. I so know it can get better though and your attitude is exactly what will make that so.

I remember how positive you were even with the diagnoses and that says a lot.

 

[Pencil]

Bub, that particular dinner time cocktail sounds decidedly painful!

Funny, I read that and thought she has the ability to make these things sound almost exciting.

 

[HëllaBubz]

But again I don't think everyone with BPD is exactly as described here. I certainly have known people who are willing and able to accept responsibility.

And Bub, you exactly present that here! You are taking responsibility even if you find it difficult in the moment. So huge credit to you. I always love the way you face things so directly!

Thanks, that really made me smile. Thank the Good Lord you didn't meet me when I was younger....would have been extremely ugly.

Glad to be part of an almost miniscule minority!

In fairness to Pencil, Abstract and the others in this thread, including the OP, I've dealt with people with BPD before, (hmmm....dad?) And my father is the poster child for everything listed above.

Strangely enough for me, I usually can see things from a 3rd party perspective, specifically being able to remember a dialogue and what emotions came up when, and what they were linked to. This has helped me in seeing identical aspects of myself in some of the stuff listed above, as well as in my father (with whom apparently I share quite a few similarities).

It's hard to let things go, ie the housemate in the OP, but I find it interesting that they have been unable to respond positively in any way to the actions of the poster.....it does make you wonder what else is playing behind the scenes.

And I'd totally move out, home is a haven, safe, warm, comfortable and somewhere to relax......sounds of current location are more akin to a toddler purgatory which is fast growing.

 

[HëllaBubz]

Just read the last two posts and laughed my ass off. Thanks guys.

 

[Pencil]

There are aspects of BPD that I relate to.

Okay, confession time: I have such severe abandonment issues that my freakouts when I'm 'abandoned' outshines BPD behavior. This happens even when I LOATHE the other person and CAN'T WAIT to get out of the relationship.

So, the real reason for my crap attitude towards BPD is that I want to 'put distance' between myself and BPD.

:(:oops::notworthy:

But, I never said ANY of the above!

 

[HëllaBubz]

I have such severe abandonment issues that my freakouts when I'm 'abandoned' outshines BPD behavior.

Interestingly enough, my first session with my new T on Wednesday revealed her saying to me that BPD actually has it's roots in attachment issues early in childhood, where the child recieves ongoing (micro) trauma from family member(s) and can later manifest under the umbrella of BPD.
So it's interesting that you should say that, because as all of us know, BPD has a rather broad spectrum as well as levels of intensity.

Take from that what you will, but I mean it as a source of comfort rather than anything.
And good on you, Pencil, for saying what you did....that must have been hard. ((Pencil))

 

[Abstract]

But, I never said ANY of the above!

:roflmao:

PS. Yes, Bub, I have read that too. I do think certain things are severely damaging for little children. I think they also relate it to proper (there are criteria involved I believe) severely invalidating early childhood.

 

[Pencil]

Thanks Bub!!