General Same Old Thing - Hubby Going Backward Again

[Jen]

Yes Kathy stressed over what I dont know things seemed ok? He has been crook the last 3 days? I really feel this will be our life forever as he just doesnt seem to want to help himself?
Jen

 

[Kathy]

Unfortunately Jen, he is a grown man as you know, and if he does not wish to change he won't, and there's nothing you can do about it. He perhaps needs to reach some sort of "bottom" as far as the IBS or diabetes goes, becoming extremely ill before he makes serious changes. All you may do is be there for him, and try to be happy for yourself. Make certain you are happy and do things you enjoy daily, apart from his ups and downs.

 

[Jen]

Thanks Kathy thats what my daughter said to me yesterday. She said he seems to want to stay sick and she said maybe he needs a scare healthwise to smarten up! But somehow I dont see it happening?
I try to keep myself entertained I am busy with work and keep in contact with friends as it gets quite lonely in this house at times lucky I have animals:smile:

 

[Deleted member 93]

Jen, I do hope things look up for y'all soon. I just wanted to add another possibility to the junk food mix. Because this is something I notice I will do. May or not apply here but worth throwing it out. When I start sinking down in the dumps and if I have not been eating right it does not do anything but make it worse. But the worse I feel the less I feel like actually making something healthy to eat (notice a circle there?). A greasy burger or pizza is already made. No work involved. I know making a whole wheat sandwich and slicing some veggies seems like no big deal but it can seem overwhelming to do when you feel really bad or depressed. Then I could always ask hubby to do it but then I feel I am already a burden enough do I need to be a pain in the ass and ask him to make me something too? So I don't ask.

It is ultimately up to him as pointed out but figured I would toss that in as it is 6 at night here and all I could muster the energy to do was get a slice of cheese since I am in crash mode and it was almost given up on since I could not decided between swiss or american, just too many choices for me today. I could go to the garage and get a frozen meal from the freezer to pop in the microwave... But it is easier for me to lay on the sofa and surf on my laptop. I can get my mind off my own problems for a few minutes like that any way LOL. Just seems overwhelming to do it as silly as it sounds.

Maybe make some healthy snacks for him for a couple days worth, hide the pizza guys number, stuff he can just grab out of the fridge and put in his face and maybe he will see how he feels better eating that and may swing him back on the track he should be? Like I said may not apply to this situation but figured worth a shot.

 

[Jen]

Thanks Veiled it makes a lot of sense what you say.
I look at it that he is being lazy but your explanation says that you find it overwhelming to help yourself to something healthy? As junk is easier to get your hands on.
Maybe I need to look at things from a different view?

 

[Kathy]

Oh what good points Veiled, none of that occurred to me. I am the cook in my home and the only time there is junk is when the family purposely goes out for it. It is not something I generally have available for the sake of convenience, and as we live way out in the country there is no delivery either.

 

[Deleted member 93]

Yes, junk is easier to feed a growling belly. If you do make some healthy snacks to get along until his body readjusts do not make an assortment. Just one or two at max. I vote all of one. There is no choosing, just grabbing. Hubs said tonight he does not envy I can get overwhelmed by a choice of something so simple and he will never understand. But luckily he is the most patient man in the world and very sympathetic but at the same time lives his life. My belly is still growling even though I barely ate something they wanted, too bad it was my kidnappers favorite food! Just cannot eat it. PTSD is a very different view. I do not think as described before this is WHY he started junk food (good dib testing was a free pass) but I think junk food may certainly be a big player in his funk and removing it may help a lot. Good luck whether you make snacks or let him crash hard enough to do himself. I have to admit I am happy if I hit bottom hubs will scrape me off and get me back up. Y'all carers are an amazing group.

 

[Deleted member 93]

OK, I cross posted so I will add diet obviously effects people. It majorly effects PTSDers. Even if they are unaware. For me a lot of greens and tomatoes do wonders. I do not know why or care but I know hubby will make a ton of homemade salsa or pico to perk me up. Salads in a bag do wonders too as we just open and dump in a bowl, if radishes and the like are already cut up to add a huge plus. PTSDers can never get enough veggies even if they think they think they had their fill. From Texas it is all steak and beans but really veggies are what make me feel good (and fish). Grew up on meat and potatoes, but damn salads (sissy food) are what motivate me and get me going and perk me. I will admit I do get so overwhelmed even a bag to open is too much. I suggest stack bowls. If we get too sucked in it is all we can do to get the bowl.

All I can say is I am grateful you cannot understand that state of mind. Sadly I can but really healthy power punching foods can do a big deal of good to combat it. Every bit counts. I also suggest quiche and tuna salads with a fruit bowl out in the open always full.

 

[Jen]

Thats it Veiled we are there when they hit bottom but it can get very trying at times!
We have been married 26 years but the last 10 years have been a challenge thats for sure!
Anyway back to the food he will get up and have munchies at night quite often and cant remember in the morning?
He doesnt eat an apple at night its usually a bag of chips or nuts?
Its the medication I suppose?
Jen

 

[Deleted member 93]

I would suggest a salt shaker next to the apples and "good" nuts around. Throw out chips. It is all about ease.

 

[Jim]

Don't have PTSD. However agree with Veiled, if not for the wife's efforts yours truly would be eating junk all the time. Can't be bothered to cook.

Jim.

 

[Kathy]

Can't be bothered to cook unless it is outside on a barbeque. Why is that? What is the difference? Honestly I don't understand men at times. :rolleyes:

Anyway back to the food he will get up and have munchies at night quite often and cant remember in the morning?

Oh that is interesting Jen as Evie is the same way. Eats and does other activities such as drawing and writing letters at night and then says in the morning she does not recall doing any of it!