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Sufferer Scared Newby - Childhood Trauma, Abuse, & Trying To Quit Porn As A Coping Mechanism

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Almost 70 percent of men in the church struggle with porn. You are not alone in the battle to get unhooked. It’s super common. Beating yourself up won’t help, you gotta reach out.

In your case, your addiction to porn might be at least partly fueled by a compulsive trauma re-enactment drive. Some people are counter phobically driven to go towards what they eat in order to try to mater it and find relief and hey can get caught up in compulsively doing this. I can’t vouch for this book myself, but there is a Christian book called “Every Mans Battle” that I’ve heard others talking about as very helpful for how to manage porn use.

What are you doing to get connected with in-person support? Have you thought about asking to meet with that minister that prayed for your PTSD? Or sought out any in-person counseling? Traveling for the right help stinks, but it’s worth it to find safe relief and freedom from symptoms.

You are going through a difficult season to be sure and the more you can connect to various supports the better.

If the tears catch people off guard at work, that’s their stuff. You deal with yours. You might try telling them you are dealing with depression related to past negative experiences...(you can cautiously say trauma or mention you are a veteran with PTSD) and tell them something that might be helpful for them to do. Sometimes people react because they just don’t know what to do. It can be as simple as, “please just give me a minute while I collect myself.” When people know what to do it gives them a great ability to handle things.

There is a great site called dbtselfhelp.com that lists tools that help with emotion regulation. It won’t cure symptoms but DBT can help manage symptoms. I get rounds of depression and it’s one of the hardest PTSD symptoms for me to manage but DBT is part of my toolbox to get through.
 
Your awesome. Thank you so much. I appreciate all of you so very much.

You could bond over crying.

I mean, if you cannot help it, and people still expect you to talk to them, you could as well switch the conversation back to them and things. Some people also need to socialize when going to places like the barber and the like, at worst you get no answer back, at best you get customers thinking you are quite open about things and unconventional?

Some people are very kind. One told me I need to suck it up and get tough. I appreciate you guys helping me. I think it's the only reason I'm able to at least try to work. Someone asked me a while ago if I had a rough night at the bar last night. My hands are shaky. Haven't drank in 26 years.
 
One told me I need to suck it up and get tough.
The fella has noooo idea what he talking about. :hilarious:

To cry IS tough. Getting out the times you had to be tough as nails, too.
If someone gives you shit for your reactions now, they have no idea of all the demons you have been facing, back then and now alike.

Haven't drank in 26 years.

So darn solid accomplishment and congratulations on that.
What anybody thinks of what is their own thing, not much to pay mind to.
 
The fella has noooo idea what he talking about. :hilarious:

To cry IS tough. Getting out the times you had to be tough as nails, too.
If someone gives you shit for your reactions now, they have no idea of all the demons you have been facing, back then and now alike.



So darn solid accomplishment and congratulations on that.
What anybody thinks of what is their own thing, not much to pay mind to.

It's a real miracle I'm staying sober through this. Did I post this in the right place please?
 
Hi @Sinner, and welcome. My name is joeylittle, and I’m the forum administrator.

I want you to click on this link: Dead Link Removed

That’s an area of the forum where only members can go. It’s not something that people can find by searching the internet.

A diary is a place where you can write about anything and everything that’s going on with you. And other members can reply, just like they are doing here. But you can think of it as your space, here on the forum.

And we have all sorts of other areas to explore. @Friday posted links to the new member welcome and help pages - you can check those out to learn more.

I think a diary would be a great way for you to start. And members can make suggestions about other forums from there :).

Again - welcome.
 
We are here. The forum has lulls sometimes and excitement other times. Just remember it is an internet group so everyone has lives to attend to and this is international so realistically half the forum is probably asleep right now.

Have you explored a bit? My favorite thing to do when the main part is not having anything happening is to read the various diaries. Be prepared, very few, if any, are an easy read. But you can learn a lot, won’t be bored, and might find a friend. And of course for the majority of diaries you are welcome to comment and let that person know you support them. ?
 
And the time mid week is notoriously slow going on here.

I don’t know if it’s just me or what, but every time I don’t know what day it is, and the forum is eeespecially slow traffic, it’s a reliable bet it’s Tuesday. Margin one day off.
 
And the time mid week is notoriously slow going on here.

I don’t know if it’s just me or what, but every time I don’t know what day it is, and the forum is eeespecially slow traffic, it’s a reliable bet it’s Tuesday. Margin one day off.

Lol right?
 
We are here. The forum has lulls sometimes and excitement other times. Just remember it is an internet group so everyone has lives to attend to and this is international so realistically half the forum is probably asleep right now.

Have you explored a bit? My favorite thing to do when the main part is not having anything happening is to read the various diaries. Be prepared, very few, if any, are an easy read. But you can learn a lot, won’t be bored, and might find a friend. And of course for the majority of diaries you are welcome to comment and let that person know you support them. ?

Thank you. Good advise. Panicked a little. Sorry.
 
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