Sufferer Scared Of The Dark

[Iluvhorses]

Hello all! I was recently diagnosed woth PTSD and now i find myself sleeping duringbthe day and staying up at night. I think im scared of the dark because i have tried numerous times to get my schedule back in order to no avail. Im going to try sleeping with the lights on even though it is going to waste a lot of energy because my health is important too. Does anyone else have any suggestions? I was assaulted a few times at night and emotionally abused by the way. The emotional abuse was only to a slight degree though.

 

[Friday]

"I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."

I'm not afraid of the dark, but I do have a lot of issues with both darkness & nighttime & sleep. Some of which includes mad hypervig at night. I've handled them in many different ways over the years. Here are a few:

- Sleeping Days. This is one of my favorites, actually. I looooooove falling asleep in sunlight :happy: It's not always possible, but whether I'm working nights, or dropping my son off at school, coming home, sleeping until it's time to pick him up... I tend to sleep really well in the daytime.

- Sleeping Nights w/ Lights on. (Replacing bulbs with the ultra-low wattage bulbs mean I can leave every light on 24/7, and pay less than if I have regular bulbs I only use occasionally). This is a must for me, even if I'm not keeping lights on all night, because when I leave the house I turn all my lights on. Same, have been attacked in e dark too many times. But also, most people are a but compulsive about turning off lights & don't even notice it. Because I've had my house broken into a few too many times -stalker- and my family has virtually no boundaries whatsoever -good people, but oy vey- it's a little relaxation trick for me to know if anyone has -probably- been in my home. Probably, because the ultra low wattage bulbs do burn out, occasionally.

- Sleeping Nights w/ Lights off. I sleep just fine in the dark, if: I'm with someone in the same bed; OR if I've rearranged my furniture a bit (I like my bed in the living room, studio apt style / hotel style, best. Failing that, I've also done the secret room thing a few times, and I've clipped my hammock tent up in the closet*); OR I'm on a 36 hour schedule; OR I'm working a really physical job so there's just not enough awake left in me; OR I'm going to sleep while it's still light out and getting up very very early; OR someone is standing watch &/or I'm living with a person/people on opposite schedules; OR I'm on a sailboat; OR I'm camping; OR I'm on certain meds; OR every light in the house is on except my bedroom; or, or, or. ;) Rrally. I've found dozens of ways over the years that just work in certain conditions.

To me what's important is the sleep. So I've done a lot of different things over the years, in different situations, to assure regular sleep. When & where it's happening & what it looks like is far less important to me than that it is happening.

 

[Iluvhorses]

"I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."

I'm not afraid of the dark, but...

Thank you for all of your suggestions. Im actually living in a dormroom in college so the only options for sleeping are in my bed or on the floor next to my bed. I cant change the bulbs in my room, but i could purchase a lamp and put a low wattage bulb in it when i get the money (Im pretty poor). I really cant sleep during the daytime because i have classes and i also dont want to miss the fun activities on my campus. I see a psychiatrist and a therapist and recently started taking trazadone which is a heavier sleeping aid then what i had before. It is also an antidepressant. I also cant stay awake all night because ill get hungry and the only foods available will be from vending machines. Yuk! I love the quote at the top of your message by the way :)

 

[Suzetig]

Did the sleep disturbance happen after you were diagnosed? If so, is there something that makes you think it's related to PTSD particularly? What makes you think it's fear of the dark? Have you a history of being scared of the dark or are you making PTSD - sleeplessness can be a symptom - I was attacked at night - scared of the dark links as a result of your diagnosis?

Changes in sleep patterns can be caused by lots of things - PTSD is only one possibility and to be honest I'd be watchful for "symptoms" which appear post diagnosis that weren't an issue before.

Maybe start by work on sleep hygiene, which means having a bedtime routine which starts a good hour or so before you go to bed, don't use screens, TV etc, do calming activities, go to bed and get up at the same time every day etc. basically give your body the same "time to go to sleep" messages every night over a period of time (ie a few weeks, not a few days) and see how that works. If you think darkness is an issue even try a kids nightlight - which won't disturb anyone but might help. It's better to sleep in the light than not at all but sleeping in darkness helps with various body systems to keep us healthy so if you can, it's better for your health to sleep in a darkened room.

Try not to ascribe your sleeplessness to anything in particular - just accept that your sleep pattern is screwed and work to get it back on track otherwise you run the risk of talking yourself into a trauma response that may not actually be there.

 

[Iluvhorses]

I was having this problem before i got diagnosed. It started just after i moved onto my college campus which is where i had my abusive relationship.

 

[Sideways]

Have you tried a weighted blanket? You can buy them online, and they help a lot of people with different types of sleep disturbance. Dormroom friendly, because they just look like a thin blanket;)

 

[Iluvhorses]

Maybe ill try that once i get the money. Thank you for the suggestion :)

 

[Ka-9]

Fellow horse lovers are always welcome!

I have reservations falling asleep....fear of dying during and never seeing my wife or dogs again. I'll get a clutching tightness, and flash of panic almost every night when I feel myself falling asleep. I used to love sleeping.

Noise, white noise like a fan or such may help...... you can Google whitenoise for cheap suggestions?

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome!

 

[Iluvhorses]

@EveHarrington thank you :)

 

[Iluvhorses]

@Ka-9 thank you :)

 

[Iluvhorses]

@Ragdoll Circus thank you! Ill bear this in mind :)