Sufferer Scared -ptsd & depression- biggest struggle is daily flashbacks. suggestions for coping?

[buettner1975]

My name is Tim and I am in recovery from PTSD and depression. My biggest struggle has been dealing with flashbacks that seem to paralyze me in the moment when I have them. The flashbacks cause me to go into a state of confusion, and disorientation. I often scratch on my body with my fingernails in an attempt to stop the sensations when they occur. Sometimes I think of ways to end my life when the flashbacks get intense, because they seem so real.

I have been having flashbacks almost daily; although the trauma ( rape, beatings, drugging ) occurred 12 years ago. That often gets to me, why do I have flashbacks 12 years later!

Any suggestions about coping with flashbacks? I need a lot of help.

 

[anonymous]

I would suggest doing therapy, maybe EMDR. If you haven't worked through it completely, it keeps coming back up until you do.

Are you currently in therapy? I shut my trauma out for a very long time, but eventually it will resurface until you work through it.

 

[buettner1975]

I'm in individual therapy...1 hour session each week, and it helps...but the flashbacks are still there. I think my problem is that Ive repressed the emotions and feelings for so long, that they're boiling to the surface like hot water. The flashbacks occur without triggers, and have increased from every other day to daily

 

[anonymous]

It's likely that things are getting stirred up which likely means your getting somewhere with your therapy. Things surface when you're ready to deal with them. It's possible that you're getting to the core of your trauma. But, in general it's a process and it feels like a rollercoaster at times. In order to fully deal with the trauma you have to deal with everything sometimes a tiny trigger that you're not consciously aware of can set it off. I wasn't prepared when I started really working through stuff how much worse it would get ( and still sometimes does) before it got better.

 

[ladee]

Do you have ways to ground yourself after the flashback has passed? Things that involve self care... simple things.. this is one that i don't do, but many people suggest it, a nice long bath.... Bathrooms are one of my triggers, but only if I am in there a long time and feeling helpless like being in the tub.... taking a walk, watching something on tv that is soothing to you... or makes you laugh.... many things you can do, that are gentle and self caring...

And when we are flooded like this, it feels like it will never end... but it does... mine are emotional flashbacks, with no 'pictures' to help me understand where it's coming from.... Hardly ever have them anymore... but always feel like I have had a 'set back' which isn't true at all... it's just that things have surfaced that needs to be looked at and work done on it....

i'm sorry it feels so relentless... and hope you have a T and are talking things out with them... that helps a lot... and also can ask you T for things that are self care... that they would know better than us what would work for you.... It does pass, it does get better... it does help with or healing... just makes us exhausted and scared..... but you can remind yourself during one,,, you are safe now... it is now, not then... you are safe.... you won't believe yourself at first, but the more you practice it, the better it gets... hope you get some relief...

 

[buettner1975]

I use my internet ( laptop ) as a form of grounding after a flashback, and I also sit outside, or do wordsearches. Our apt building has a dayroom where I go sometimes to intermingle with others. The hard thing for me is dealing with the flashback when it is occurring, in the core of the flashback, I'm frozen and stunned and my coping strategies go out the window and I tend to scratch to stop the pain and sensations. Its hard to ground myself during the flashback, but when they subside a little I'm able to cope,. I try to tell myself during a flashback that I am safe, and its still hard. But I face each day with optimism that things will get better.

Another scary thing that I encounter during a flashback is that I tend to think of ways to end the pain altogether; and am afraid that I may lose control. So learning how to ground is a big issue for me

 

[ladee]

And what you are feeling is normal... this is where you have to prove to yourself how strong you really are... try to have a plan in place to not self harm.... sounds like you are doing 'aftercare' very well.... but you DO have to continue to tell yourself that was then and this is now.... you have to scream it louder than the pain.... it sucks, it hurts, there is nothing about it that is fair or right..... but the fact you shared about it shows how much courage you have that you don't even give yourself credit for.. doesn't mean you have to believe it, but saying it does make it come true....
This will be the hardest thing you have ever done in your life.... to save your life... you are more powerful than the flashbacks... too many of here who have gone thru it and got on the other side.... just a tiny bit of faith in yourself will go a long long way.... I always turned into a contest.... I was NOT going to let my past WIN... ever.... and each time I got thru it, was ladee...1, abuse....0 and that column for you, builds...

You are doing great work, you have solid plans for getting yourself grounded... and that is awesome.... put gloves on next time... don't harm yourself..... again.... do not let the past abuse win.... ever.... very proud that you shared and it is important to know you are not alone.... you are much more a warrior than you think you are...