Seems A Lot Like Catatonia

[amelia_i]

While I already had ptsd, after last year's trauma load, which was described in my introduction post, something has changed. I am just realizing now that what one of the major things that I have been experiencing since then has been, as near as I can gather, may be relatively atypical.

It started with looking on YouTube recently to see what other peoples' flashbacks looked like. I clicked through and nodded, everything seemed like the milder flashbacks I experience. Eventually I got to a point where I was like, okay, something's different.

I will describe the symptoms the best way that I can. Sometimes my flashbacks get so severe that I freeze. My muscles go rigid, my mouth drops open, my eyes glue shut, and there is a grimacing facial expression. My body starts to sweat. I can't move or speak. If he moves a body part for whatever reason (safety, comfort), it has a waxy effect; they will hang there. Sometimes I can feel the intensity of the flashbacks rising, then I enter this state. Other times, it comes on so quickly that I will drop something, or be in the middle of chewing, or on the computer, whatever. In the blink of an eye. The length of time ranges from moments to an hour or more, can be a single event, or on and off. I will come out the other side, my boyfriend will be holding me and comforting me. "Welcome back, love"

When I started to realize that this may not be a common response, I spoke to my psychiatrist. She told me "I find that very unlikely". I have only seen catatonia one time in my thirty years of experience" (I didn't say that's what I was experiencing, but used it as a descriptor for lack of a better term to use). Despite that, she changed the subject. My boyfriend took a video of it, which I brought to her to watch. She refused, then asked me what I had hoped to gain by bringing the video in for her to see (I think she's about to get replaced. ugh). I then contacted my counselor, who said that what I describe is not 'regular flashbacks', is serious, and may require additional attention. She has been great, spot-on, and very realistic.

I'm not really breaking a sweat over this, I'm pretty used to it by now. I feel like I certainly need to get on switching my PCP (and probably psychiatrist) to a local one (recently moved) and talk to her, possibly get a referral or something if she deems it so.

I can't seem to find much information about such things on this thread, or anywhere. Does anyone have any thoughts? Do you experience this? Should I be more alarmed?

Thanks in advance!

Amy

 

[shimmerz]

"I find that very unlikely". I have only seen catatonia one time in my thirty years of experience"

This doesn't surprise me at all.

My boyfriend took a video of it, which I brought to her to watch. She refused, then asked me what I had hoped to gain by bringing the video in for her to see

Unfortunately, this doesn't surprise me either.

I would replace your doctor for certain.

One of the issues I faced when going catatonic was that the doctors seemed to think I was a pill popper. If you search on the internet you will notice ativan is the best med for it (I used sublingual so that I wouldn't go too deep into the catatonia).

Doctors also tend to tie catatonia to schizophrenia and if you don't have that, they believe you can't have the catatonia. The fact that she will not even look at the video is abhorrent.

I got an official diagnosis by actually having 2 attacks in my doctors office. They checked for oxygenation, they bashed the shit out of my sternum, no response. Then they did the ativan challenge which brought me out some, I dropped back in and they ativan'd me again and I came out enough to be able to talk.

I have had years of 'days' of catatonia at a time. It is real - no matter what the doctors say.

 

[amelia_i]

Thanks for the quick reply. I have a prescription for Ativan, I will certainly continue taking it on a prn basis.

I have not been diagnosed with schizophrenia, nor do I have any symptoms that seem to line up with those described.

I'm sorry that happens to you. :(

 

[shimmerz]

I'm sorry that happens to you.

It doesn't anymore. I thank you for your concern. I know it can be a frightening experience and very difficult when doctors refuse to listen.

I didn't think you had a diagnosis of schizophrenia. It sounds like an extreme fawn response. Have you read Pete Walkers site on the fight/flight/freeze/fawn responses?

http://www.pete-walker.com/fourFs_TraumaTypologyComplexPTSD.htm

Not sure if you have any trauma in your background or not....

 

[amelia_i]

Unfortunately, I have plenty of it in my background. I didn't think you were implying I had schizophrenia, just stating that, as far as I am aware, do not.

I read the section about 'fawn' response. How do you feel that intersects with the information I've provided?

 

[Lucycat]

I have witnessed Catalonia. The patient stayed in wierd positions for months at a time. If the patient was lying on a bed and you removed the pillow her head stayed in the same 'just above the bed' position *for ever*.

The patient had to be fed by tubes as she was so 'out of it' not for hours or,minutes , but months. Catatonic is not to be taken lightly. I would be very surprised to learn that anybody capable of using this forum has ever experienced it personaly.

 

[amelia_i]

Moments ago, someone shared that they have experienced the same thing as I have and have received some sort of diagnosis surrounding catatonia. There must be another thing that has identical or nearly-identical symptoms, albeit on a shorter term basis? My muscles will ~not~ move unless moved. Maybe it doesn't always have to last months?

I don't know what to think. Whatever it is, it clearly requires additional attention from a qualified, compassionate individual, and it doesn't look like I'm under the care of any of those at the moment.

 

[shimmerz]

I would be very surprised to learn that anybody capable of using this forum has ever experienced it personaly.

Really LucyCat?????

 

[shimmerz]

Anyways, moving right along, I have walked away, punched a few walls (in my mind), had a smoke or two, kicked a few 'mental health care workers around', again in my mind, and am back to the discussion. The post by lucycat is just what I dealt with for years and it annoys the shit out of me. I am so sorry you are dealing with it now. Luckily it hasn't affected me for the past 6 months or so, and I am sorry that you are, @amelia_i . The complete lack of respect from medical workers when it comes to something that is so disruptive and frightening is abhorrent. I don't get pissed off often, but this attitude used to drive me insane.

I read the section about 'fawn' response. How do you feel that intersects with the information I've provided?

In answer to your question, I have not read any of your other posts (if you have posted), so I don't know your background. I just know mine. Mine was a trauma response. As my Trauma Doctor and I worked through it, and I gathered more information on my background, we recognized that a very early trauma had led to such behaviours. I had learned a response of 'fawn' which translated (for me) to complete immobility until said trigger had passed its due course. As I mentioned, this would normally take several days for me. There is more information in my diary if you are interested. This particular post from my diary will explain a bit how it felt for me. Post number 28. I hope it is helpful to you.

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Here is a pretty good article on catatonia. Please keep in mind that it does state that its causes can be very diverse. I think the DSM IV (at the time of this article?) stated that catatonia was a subset of schizophrenia, which is no longer the case. There are also other causes of catatonia, so please see a medical doctor in case there is a different cause and for a complete diagnosis. Your partner may want to consider taking you into the doctor while you are in this state - so they can check your oxygenation levels etc.

This article as well speaks to the Ativan Challenge, which they use to diagnose catatonia. If severe enough (as LucyCat speaks of), an Ativan drip is many times incorporated.

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[amelia_i]

Here is my introduction post, it spares little detail:

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/an-intro-multiple-victimizations.49426/

In addition, not mentioned was physical/sexual/emotional abuse growing up. I'll check out your diary when I'm in the symptom green zone. lol

 

[shimmerz]

I'll check out your diary when I'm in the symptom green zone. lol

Don't worry about the whole diary as it is disturbing, amelia, just the one post that describes the attack. I think it is a paragraph or two down in the posting.
Feel better soon.

 

[amelia_i]

The oxygenation level is a thing that I worry about. My breathing gets really strange, I draw in a really fast, short breath, then breathe out very slowly, over the course of like... 10-15 seconds. The inhale to exhale ratio is probably 1:20. Maybe not in terms of oxygen in/c02 out, but certainly based on time.