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Gs172003
Diamond Member
I still haven't talked about mine. I've only recovered a couple memories anyway but progress is progress. @ToughCookie I'm so glad
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Seems Like I've Posted Alot Of These Lately
- Post starter Gs172003
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MisterCatLady
Gold Member
Ive been in therapy 8 months now but I am just now starting to talk about trauma. I have noticed my thoughts beginning to clear - or maybe they are beginning to sort themselves. My mind feels slightly more organized. I've felt the beginning of healing. Like a long guy at the end of the tunnel. I'm so happy for you @Zoogal! I'm right behind you!
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- #15
Gs172003
Diamond Member
Yes. That's it. That's the way to describe it. Like things are starting to "work" better.
I have been having more odd dreams then ever but my waking hours things are coming together more. Thank you for saying that.
LMAO I was.
Apologies. The way I managed to read your post was like: I spaced out everything. So many things. I'm getting better. I didn't space out my (literal) birthday. Good me. Go me. :D
:banghead::facepalm: At self. Well, one more birthday wish can't hurt, though, I'm hoping. In every case, congratulation on your progress. :tup:
ladee
VIP Member
Congrats on the accomplishments!!
Many more to come.
Many more to come.
- Post starter
- #18
Gs172003
Diamond Member
Haha thanks! I'll take all the wishes I can get
Friday
Sponsor
<chuckling> It took me 5 years the first time, and I'm past the 5 year mark now. But if you delete the time estimate ?
This part I agree with ;)
OneToughCookie
Silver Member
@Bloomy , I had transferred schools in response to the second sexual assault to a school of only 800 kids and really didn't know anyone there/was pretty isolated. I went no-contact with my abusive father. I did CoDA for a bit because I read social support is as important to health as exercise. I didn't deal with that the assaults for a long time, but started to process some of the abuse from my childhood in that group and learned about self care. I made that my priority along with schoolwork. I got rid of whatever depression and anxiety I had that wasn't caused by the trauma but instead by my thoughts using The Feeling Good Handbook. I started doing a bit better, but one of my professors noticed I was always dissociated in class and often got confused about the date. I told him about my dad, and that kind of opened the door to telling people little by little. At the time I was seeing a psychologist over Skype, and when I began to acknowledge the sexual assaults, I just wrote him a letter because I couldn't tell him face-to-face with a bunch of little traumas I'd experienced and the two big recent ones.
I read about PTSD on the internet and joined this group even though I hadn't been diagnosed yet (the first psychologist said I had adjustment disorder because I was reacting unexplicably badly to the onset of narcolepsy, which is just an autoimmune disorder I acquired in the wake of the trauma). I re-enrolled in my old school because it had way better resources and I'd read that a flight reaction is common after rape. The psychologist I was seeing helped me find a trauma specialist near where I'd be transferring and helped me deal with an existential depression that had been plaguing me for years until I moved (I read Searching for Meaning and began using those coping mechanisms... it could be useful to you if you've lost your sense of meaning). I set little goals using a Freedom Planner and just tried to make each day better than the next by doing as much self-care as possible.
During the summer I started seeing a trauma therapist and focused on recovering from my anorexia by giving my scale away and talking to the therapist about it. I journaled a ton about the trauma, filed a report for one of them, hung out with a few friends I made before the assaults, did some drawing (where I finally came out of my anhedonia for the first time), wrote on MyPTSD for help, and found the most awesome boyfriend in the world on OKCupid hahahah. That helped a ton because he's super compassionate, empathetic, and came from a background similar to mine. I can talk to him whenever I need. In the fall I did a support group at the health center for survivors of sexual assault and it was so great being around people who understood. When I went no-contact with my dad, I didn't know how to use assertive language and had no clue what I was feeling. I reconnected with him recently and told him why I went no contact, what kind of behavior I need from him, what the consequences of not acting that way are, etc. and it went super-surprisingly well, maybe because I was empathetic to the way our family worked and that abuse is simply a learned behavior. I did kind of shittily academically (good chance I'll fail a class), but I'm actually a bit proud of that because normally I'm really driven at a high cost to my health. Finals week stress brought a huge spike in my symptoms and I was proactive about my suicidal thoughts and talked to people and asking my therapist and support group for help instead of keeping it to myself like I had in the past. The semester's coming to a close, and I scheduled hangouts with a bunch of my support group girls next week. I'm taking next semester off and intend to spend 2/3 of the day relaxing and 1/3 doing productive things (internship search, working on my business, doing research with a professor, etc.).
Basically, see where you're at, try and add a few good habits a month with goals (eg. meditate daily, work out once a week, stop using screens by x time and go to bed two hours later, and sign up for one group activity). People say I'm the most optimistic person they've ever met, so try increasing your optimism too. Right now I'm learning grounding techniques and will be practicing those as often as possible. The little changes all compound and make you feel much more capable of coping. Like @Friday said, it doesn't matter the time frame, so long as you start. I'm always here to reach out to if you don't know where to go. :) Again, congrats on your accomplishment @Zoogal , I have tons of hope for you!
I read about PTSD on the internet and joined this group even though I hadn't been diagnosed yet (the first psychologist said I had adjustment disorder because I was reacting unexplicably badly to the onset of narcolepsy, which is just an autoimmune disorder I acquired in the wake of the trauma). I re-enrolled in my old school because it had way better resources and I'd read that a flight reaction is common after rape. The psychologist I was seeing helped me find a trauma specialist near where I'd be transferring and helped me deal with an existential depression that had been plaguing me for years until I moved (I read Searching for Meaning and began using those coping mechanisms... it could be useful to you if you've lost your sense of meaning). I set little goals using a Freedom Planner and just tried to make each day better than the next by doing as much self-care as possible.
During the summer I started seeing a trauma therapist and focused on recovering from my anorexia by giving my scale away and talking to the therapist about it. I journaled a ton about the trauma, filed a report for one of them, hung out with a few friends I made before the assaults, did some drawing (where I finally came out of my anhedonia for the first time), wrote on MyPTSD for help, and found the most awesome boyfriend in the world on OKCupid hahahah. That helped a ton because he's super compassionate, empathetic, and came from a background similar to mine. I can talk to him whenever I need. In the fall I did a support group at the health center for survivors of sexual assault and it was so great being around people who understood. When I went no-contact with my dad, I didn't know how to use assertive language and had no clue what I was feeling. I reconnected with him recently and told him why I went no contact, what kind of behavior I need from him, what the consequences of not acting that way are, etc. and it went super-surprisingly well, maybe because I was empathetic to the way our family worked and that abuse is simply a learned behavior. I did kind of shittily academically (good chance I'll fail a class), but I'm actually a bit proud of that because normally I'm really driven at a high cost to my health. Finals week stress brought a huge spike in my symptoms and I was proactive about my suicidal thoughts and talked to people and asking my therapist and support group for help instead of keeping it to myself like I had in the past. The semester's coming to a close, and I scheduled hangouts with a bunch of my support group girls next week. I'm taking next semester off and intend to spend 2/3 of the day relaxing and 1/3 doing productive things (internship search, working on my business, doing research with a professor, etc.).
Basically, see where you're at, try and add a few good habits a month with goals (eg. meditate daily, work out once a week, stop using screens by x time and go to bed two hours later, and sign up for one group activity). People say I'm the most optimistic person they've ever met, so try increasing your optimism too. Right now I'm learning grounding techniques and will be practicing those as often as possible. The little changes all compound and make you feel much more capable of coping. Like @Friday said, it doesn't matter the time frame, so long as you start. I'm always here to reach out to if you don't know where to go. :) Again, congrats on your accomplishment @Zoogal , I have tons of hope for you!
BoN-bOn
Gold Member
I'm that way a lot lately about not knowing what day it is, or what day something happened. For instance, I say "the other day," when it was only yesterday or when I am talking about something that happened I can't remember what day it was. People at work look at me like I'm crazy! Good to know that will improve!
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- #22
Gs172003
Diamond Member
I have said the other day thing too. Or yesterday when it was this morning. :/ yeeeaahh.
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