Self Therapy/writing Memories

[unique]

Hi, first time poster.

I am in the midst of a relapse of kinds of my C-PTSD and I don't really have anything much to lose, so I've had the idea that writing down my "available" memories in sequence and detail might retrieve a bit of the memories I have lost. I have a scattered blank of about 7 or 8 years of lost memories. When I spent 3 years in therapy the only "therapy" they actually did was harm reduction, as I was on the verge of accidentally killing myself with self harm. They did not try and work on the C-PTSD at all. They just left it attempt to run its course per say. This has more than likely left the condition with me for a long time.

I have no option but to wait for the appointment given to me last month in january for a re-assessment with my local mental health team, so I have no support apart from my partner who really doesn't understand these things at all.

So, considering I don't think it can get much worse right now, would it be a good idea to try and dig up these lost memories? Or would it be the case that it would more likely cause false memories? Has anyone else tried it? Is it safe to do alone?

Thanks, April.

 

[Lady Vet]

Hi, April...I know what it's like to process this stuff all on my own...sometimes it's a blessing because it removes any audience of judgment, real or perceived. In my own experience, very few people really understand PTSD or how it affects me...how I am affected by PTSD...so I tend to prefer to do whatever work I do in isolation...which means that I have a lot of experience with it.

It sounds like you already understand the conundrum....do the writing which may fill in the gaps....do the writing which may fill in the gaps with false memories...there's no way to know.

But you are NOT alone. I (myself) am just finding this PTSD forum, having suffered with undiagnosed PTSD for 27 years, so I feel energized to do what I need to do for me, but also be able to read about how other people are dealing with this, too. So your connection to the forum already means that you're not alone, because there's at least one other person who has connected with your journey...and that is a comforting thought :)

 

[unique]

Thank you. I have avoided joining any PTSD forum before because I usually resist help, but knowing that I'm not alone has helped me now. Hopefully this can help me in the darker times because they are usually to do with isolation. I can't be isolated if I'm not alone :shy:

I'm going to have a poke around the rest of the forum in the morning as it is way past my bed time (just gone 2am here). It seems just from a glance there's a lot of support around here for anything and everything.

Goodnight,
April

 

[saffy]

Hi Unique
Welcome to the forum :)

I hope you find it supportive and informative.

I think sometimes mapping things that happened can jog other memories and this can have a grounding effect. However, I also think that each memories should be discussed and/or contemplated more so that feelings and emotions from the time can also be recognised. Also you can look at what you could do to change it or improve it or if it is positive how you can relive it or what would you do now if that happens etc etc.

Best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[Maggiemay]

I wrote 13 pages on computer bursting with trauma after trauma. It gave me a deep sense of understanding & helped me accept cptsd diagnosis. I also made connections with little me & now am able to care for myself when distressed a lot better.

Xxx