- Thread starter
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A
Annapolisa
Hi Anna Banana,
Thanks for your comments that are very timely. This Saturday I will be riding in a 110 mile cycling event that has been organized to honor all those who died in combat in Afghanistan. I had decided to do the ride before my relationship with my friend went on the rocks with our sexual misadventure. On the ride, I will be carrying a banner with the names of my friend's closest buddies who died on his tour. I haven't told him that I'm riding for them or that I've been training for it all summer.
Tonight I'm debating whether to leave him a phone message to let him know. On the one hand, I think it would hearten him to know that someone is out there riding for his buddies. He'll definitely hear about the event on the local news.
On the other hand, I have to ask myself whether I'm seeking his approval, support, attention, respect.... and thereby prolonging my involvement and delaying letting go. It would be nice to think he'd be wishing me strength for the long journey. In an ideal world, he'd be at the finish to share a beer with me. I try to think what good would come of leaving him a message - either for him or me.
For sure I don't want to speak with him. If he were negative towards me, it would take the wind out of my sails and I might have a hard time getting through the 10 hour ride. I have no way of knowing what state he's in these days. The last time I ran into him was several weeks ago. I stopped to say hello because he looked so run down. He seemed glad to speak with me. He shared his news and asked what I was up to.
I don't know that I can help him. I just know I still think about him, miss his company, and feel for him.
Your thoughts?
Thanks for your comments that are very timely. This Saturday I will be riding in a 110 mile cycling event that has been organized to honor all those who died in combat in Afghanistan. I had decided to do the ride before my relationship with my friend went on the rocks with our sexual misadventure. On the ride, I will be carrying a banner with the names of my friend's closest buddies who died on his tour. I haven't told him that I'm riding for them or that I've been training for it all summer.
Tonight I'm debating whether to leave him a phone message to let him know. On the one hand, I think it would hearten him to know that someone is out there riding for his buddies. He'll definitely hear about the event on the local news.
On the other hand, I have to ask myself whether I'm seeking his approval, support, attention, respect.... and thereby prolonging my involvement and delaying letting go. It would be nice to think he'd be wishing me strength for the long journey. In an ideal world, he'd be at the finish to share a beer with me. I try to think what good would come of leaving him a message - either for him or me.
For sure I don't want to speak with him. If he were negative towards me, it would take the wind out of my sails and I might have a hard time getting through the 10 hour ride. I have no way of knowing what state he's in these days. The last time I ran into him was several weeks ago. I stopped to say hello because he looked so run down. He seemed glad to speak with me. He shared his news and asked what I was up to.
I don't know that I can help him. I just know I still think about him, miss his company, and feel for him.
Your thoughts?
