Sexual Availability In My Long Term Relationship

[Jil]

Hi, I'm a female who was diagnosed with PTSD stemming from sexual trauma when I was a child. Before I was diagnosed, I started a relationship with a guy who has depression. Recently, I have had some problems in my relationship because of my seeming inability to participate in sexual acts due to my PTSD. Every time I have tried recently, I have been triggered and have serious relapses in my mental health. Because of these problems, my boyfriend of approximately a year and a half has become resentful of me and our relationship. I want to be able to appease him and make him feel good but I can't do that without sacrificing my mental health and by not sacrificing my mental health, I am potentially sacrificing my relationship. I don't know what to do at this point or how to balance my PTSD and my relationship.

 

[Sideways]

Have you tried to find a comfortable middle ground with your boyf? Maybe reset the program, starting with small things (at this point, even kissing might be a big deal?). Find something simple that you do feel comfortable with, and gradually (like, very gradually) build from there.

Building a sexual bond with your partner from scratch doesn't have to be boring, and you might find that having control over how fast things go, what you're ready for and what you're not ready for, and putting time into the environment around you seperates the experience from your past. Communication is going to be key though - you're going to need to become comfortable with telling your partner what you do and don't want, and trust that he's going to listen.

Do you have a T that you've spoken to about this? Would your partner be prepared to meet with you and your T if you're having difficulty setting out what the issues are for you and how to move forward?

Just some ideas...