Sexual Jokes/innuendos

[Kitizo]

I'm stuck living with a guy right now who makes sexual comments, jokes and innuendos every day. Fortunately I'm only her e a few more weeks but this is really annoying me and making me feel very uncomfortable. I called him on it recently and he apologised. I dread being alone with him and feel so uncomfortable. Little advice or help if he continues this behaviour? Once I'm living elsewhere, I don't want anymore to do with him. Someone I care for very much is in a relationship with him and I worry about her :(

 

[Uta]

Sounds like an immature dork! Good on you for speaking up and he reacted well. That takes courage and I hope he stops now.

 

[Kitizo]

He's in his late fifties:banghead:

 

[Owob]

When I was a teenager, I worked for a place that had this sort of humor.

We had recently hired a woman who was very nice in all respects. She was working while she took night classes, to become a police officer. No idea if she ever did or not.

One day I'd made one of those jokes, can't remember what it was specifically. She asked to speak with me in the back of the shop.

She told me simply she did not appreciate that sort of humor, that she found it to be in poor taste and if I would be so kind as to knock it off when she was in earshot.

I thanked her for informing me, then never made another joke like that while she was around.
I was grateful that she had just approached me like an adult, instead of just throwing a fit to the boss and getting me in trouble. Which she could also easily have done.

We got along well after that. A mutual respect between us.
All joking aside, I don't think that way, never have. Probably why I find it funny. It's such an alien concept to me.
Being young and naive as I was, it never really dawned on me that some people really do think and act that way. I understand better now how that could have made her so uncomfortable.

I'm a fair bit older now. I don't make those sorts of jokes in any workplace anymore. It's just not appropriate. Reading your post reminded me of that woman.
I'm glad your coworker was also respectful of your feelings. Hopefully it goes well and this is the end of it. I think it's great that you approached the subject with him the way you did.

If it should so turn out that he wasn't serious and continues to make this sort of humor around you. I think it then perfectly appropriate to take your complaint higher up. He's gotten fair warning from you.
Any disciplinary action that happens to him for continuing such behavior is on him.

Just as it would have been on me, had I not respected the wishes of the woman I worked with.

 

[Owob]

I'm stuck living with a guy

Welp. I'm an idiot.
I don't know how I managed to misread that as workplace. :facepalm:

 

[Numeje]

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. W. H. Auden

It sounds like this guy isn't threatening, you either "just" have very different senses of humor, or the sexual humor is a stressor?

If differing senses of humor? Either Ignore him, or call him on it, again. As he reacted really well to being called on it the first time, it's most likely that he'll respond well, again. But what makes people laugh? What we innately find funny? Is a hard thing to "turn off" no matter the circumstances, but especially whilst at home, where we can relax instead of being on our best behavior all the time.

If stressor? Much easier solution, ironically. Stress cup. As in be finding ways to bleed stress, so that the jokes both aren't hitting you so hard, and you've got a nice cushion of available stress for when they do hit.

 

[Dopo]

I guess it's a stressor, it's exactly the same comments that a boy used to make when we were 12, same boy sexually assaulted me. As did others who made such ''jokes''. This is why I ISOLATE,

 

[Bagam]

I guess it's a stressor, it's exactly the same comments that a boy used to make when we were 12, same boy sexually assaul...

I believe you are very justified to feel uncomfortable with jokes that demean, especially sexually. If he persists, stay with your game plan to get out asap, and then just keep your distance. I would not expose myself to that behavior if I had any control over it whatsoever. I realise if you live with him, you don't have control. (If he deliberately disregards your request to stop).

 

[Ipo]

I feel uncomfortable with those kinds of jokes anywhere to be honest. I had the same problem, it was the boss of my first job who a lot of those jokes and he sexually assaulted me.

You asked him to stop and he seems like he reacted well, so that is good. A lot of people can be distasteful it doesn't always mean they will do bad things etc. :)

 

[Imomuz]

I get very uncomfortable in that environment. I'd something is said directly to me...I address it . if it is in a group, I walk away.

 

[Vaji]

he is still doing it, it's toned down but he's still doing it. have decided to just avoid him until I can leave, i'm counting the days.

obviously he's been like this all of his 58 years alive. I don't and never will find it funny.

I don't care if others don't like that I don't find it funny. I have a great sense of humour for other things, just not anything sexual.

 

[Talumi]

and actually, the more I think about it, the more tired I am becoming, having to avoid this asshole

18 days