Poll Should A Person Talk About His Fears? - A Poll

[holdenmonty]

For me I picked that they should share their fears so others can learn more about them but also selected other because for me it really depends on who they should share their fears with. I know I don't like to share my fears with anybody because I don't want them to think less of me but also telling my wife a couple of the things that I struggle/fear has helped us be on the same page but I also have to realize the fear and not let the fear get out of control because I have noticed that if I avoid a situation like for instance crowded places then it will get worse and worse until I can't even go shopping because of all the people. It's tough because sharing anything means that you have to be vulnerable and I know at least I have a really tough time with allowing myself to be vulnerable.

 

[Friday]

I put other... As it very much depends on the situation.

Fear is lethal in many situations, & contagious in most.

In fact, it's even illegal in many situations... From inciting a riot to causing widespread panic, to shouting that there's a fire in a movie theatre to a bomb on the plane, to the many versions of illegal in the military (one of the worst being cowardice under fire / in the face of the enemy, but dragging others into your fears, whether it's mutiny or the line breaking, is worse).

In other situations, it's not lethal, but still harmful... A parent terrorizing their child on the first day of school, before surgey, in so very many situations and ways where a child is looking to the adults for how to respond, themselves.

I've dated very few insecure guys, most of the ones I have? I could deal with the insecurity if it didn't come along with the constant whining. It wasn't their fear that I was going to break up with them that caused me to break up with them. It was the constantly talking about it. My god, man. You've only got one life! Live a little!

The list just goes on. Sometimes talking is good. Other times, it's the worst idea possible. Most of the time, somewhere in between.

Laughing at fear? It's one way to master it, and master yourself. It's a flavor of bravery.

 

[Lucycat]

I put 'other' for the reasons others have cited above. It depends on whether the fear needs to be shared, whether it is helpful to anyone at all, whether it is a 'big fear' or a 'little fear', whether it can be used against anybody, whether one wishes to share, whether there is pressure to share... so many ifs and buts. There is no right answer or easy answer.

However I am clear that it is the person with the fear that makes the choice whether to speak out or not. Choice not obligation.

 

[WhisperingUnicorn]

oh dear .. loaded question .. and despite multiple options and multiple votes allowed, it kinda boils down to the "to whom" are you speaking? Context is KING.

... telling fears CAN be inconsiderate of the listener (such as, say, a "loud" fear of current geo-political events, so when you speak to them you disrupt another person's ability to deal with the news?), CAN be damaging to the teller (such as receiving judgment or undue or damaging criticisms, et al), CAN be a healing balm (such as "confessing" to a trusted loved one or quality therapist), CAN be a way of amplifying the fears (such as "adding fuel to the fire" of the emotions involved), etc.

Seems this is at least an issue of either "acceptance/tolerance" or "getting help to overcome" ... or even a legitimate issue of "self-preservation" (such as having a viable reason to NOT go along on trip to Hawaii in above hypothetical situation) ... And those components change the answer greatly ...

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

My other would be that the group of people or the person to whom one is talking also plays a factor in whether a person should talk about his or her fears and if the person feels comfortable enough with sharing that. I could share some fears, but not others.

 

[falling_wave]

Yes, if you have a trusting relationship with the person. It is good communication and a healthy outlet. No, or only as minimal as needed to get by with others.

 

[Deleted member 19804]

I think it's an important thing to do when you want to have a close relationship with someone. However, I think it would be wise to get to know that person first and to test the waters before you go all in with the PTSD and stuff. I'm not good at showing vulnerability; whenever I have to talk about it I tend to laugh it off or make a joke about it, because it scares me to be vulnerable. And because I'm afraid it'll hurt the other person because they'll get worried. Or maybe they'll just get annoyed.

It's hard for most of us here to trust other people enough to tell them about these things. But I do think that with the right person and at the right time it can definitely bring you closer to each other.

 

[Ed Norton]

I think that a person should share their fears with a select few. It all has to be approached with balance and perspective.

 

[rainy_daze]

I'm not a big fan of the word "should", so I put Other. Should brings connotations of someone expecting a behaviour to happen from someone else.

My mother uses the word should whenever she is saying that I should do something she thinks is best for me. As a fully grown adult, my reply is sometimes "I could do that if I wanted to".

So, Q: should a person talk about his fears? A: only if he actually wants to.

I agree as well that there are a lot of other variables when considering sharing fears. For example, I'm afraid I'll say something stupid is a different fear from I'm worried I'll have a mental breakdown.

I could write more but I think other posts have said it best already. Interesting discussion.

 

[joeylittle]

@Lemontree, I would edit your poll options for you (as you indicated, above) except you have hit the maximum number already. If you want to take some off to add the new ones, just report your first post (by hitting the bell icon) and specify in the 'reason' box.

My personal answer: there really aren't any 'shoulds' in mental health (like @rainy_daze said) - but if you are asking whether it's beneficial to talk about fears, I'd say generally, giving voice to things is good - but only when the person wants to.

 

[Changing4Best]

I said other. I think it depends upon who you are talking about them to. I would not talk to someone I do not know well about my fears. I would not talk about them to an employer. I might talk about them with my dr. if I felt it pertained to my medical condition. I might talk about them with someone I planned to marry or someone I might live with, a roommate, in other words. I would talk about them with my best friend (and I have done so). I do talk about them with my therapist. There is a time and a place for everything. I would not talk about them at a party or in a meeting. I would not talk about them while in a public place. Fears are a private thing.

 

[iwannadeletethis]

This poll is related to this thread: Link Removed

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I'm not saying that this is the a see that should be.. But I always make it a joke. If I can't laugh, I can't handle it.