DID Should I try to hide it in relationships or not ?

From the way you talk about your experience, I can actually see that a lot of work has been done. I'm so impressed by the fact that you've accomplish all those stressful changes ! That gives me hope.

I have a question for you. Do some of your parts hate your partner ?

Let me explain... Even if I am in love with someone, I can sometimes be disgusted by the one I am in love with. And I wonder it is a matter of parts or a matter of dysfunctionnal attachment.

I am in love and I feel like I can't live without my partner and at the same time I'm like what am I doing with him ? I should leave him, he disgusts me. It's very opposite feelings. And it hurts. I feel guilty about those mean thoughts. And then, I feel submerged by all the intense feelings and I have to live by myself for like one or two weeks.

It's like on one side I'm admiring and the other side I want to throw up... And I'm stuck in between.

I use the present but I speak about a situation that happened in the past and who could happen again I think.

Sorry I haven't responded sooner but I've been operated and was so exhausted.