Should I Try To Take Leave Or Not

[desiderata310]

A couple of months ago, I was out cycling and had a bad fall, was transported and told later that I had post concussive syndrome that would impact my daily life for 6-8 months.
It has.
I was told that I shouldn't work as much and that I should only work 15-20 minutes at a time. Trust me when I say that the days I try to stretch it out I suffer in the worst possible way.
Today my therapist recommended that I go back to that neurologist and ask if he would write a letter for extended leave(my t said he would also be willing to back all this up to my employer and the neurologist) and said that its all complicated by the PTSD as well. I already have accommodations in the form of a service dog and the ability to work from home. Now I'm asking to NOT WORK and still get paid till my brain recovers since I'm still struggling.
I'm deathly afraid of being seen as lazy, or shopping for... I don't know... Money or something. It's a terrible time to be off work. I'm kind of terrified of even asking. I have enough sick leave and vacation (they would eat through that first) to do all of it. The really fun part? I am going to be doing a ultra race in the middle of all of this (it's the brain activity of working at a computer etc that causes issues) it all just all LOOKS very bad.
The question is SHOULD I?
Thoughts?

 

[Justmehere]

It doesn't look bad to me. Brain injuries take time, and being able to run a race doesn't mean everything else is ok. Most people may not understand this, but the important ones will.

If taking full time off is too worriesome, what about part time off?

 

[desiderata310]

Yeah my T said that he knows me and knows that won't work. (Hence the admonishment from the neurologist only work 15-20 min and then take a break. I can't seem to stick to that. This is a Full time full time job)
I don't know. It feels wrong asking for it

 

[desiderata310]

also DAMN IT ALL for misspelling the title.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

Re post Title. … :D:whistling:Ok. How many mins were your writing this? Beyond the 15-20? I'll bet. Say no more (Monty Phyton).

 

[Poofycat]

What would you advise a friend to do if they were in your situation? Or, what do you think your reaction would be if one of your employees approached you about extended leave if they were in your situation?

 

[Justmehere]

You have an amazing work ethic, and I can relate to the fear of being seen as lazy. I have a tendency to push and push myself and to hold on through the pain and avoid rest at all costs.

You know how if someone sprains an ankle, and if they keep running on it the same ankle while it's still injured, they can't run as far and the injury persists longer if they just backed off on training a bit and rested for a season? Rest actually can make us better and faster in the long run. (Perhaps maybe you struggle to rest with physical injury too.... In which case, consider this example with a broken leg and that running on it would continually rebreak the leg.)

After a brain injury it takes a little time for the brain to re-work things out and heal. It needs some time when its not pushed to the very max capacity to be able to get better. That's probably oart of why your neurologist is recommending what they are recommending.

Following your doc's recommendation and using your already granted vacation and sick time isn't you being lazy, it's actually you taking responsibility to take good care of yourself so you can be best employee you can be over the long haul.

I'm going to try to word this carefully, please know I don't mean this to suggest you are not wanted around, but the opposite. Not only do I think your employees are not going to be concerned about you being lazy, they may actually be more concerned you are not taking the rest you need to heal now. You may hide the struggle really well, but I bet they notice small pieces of it and even if they don't express it, they may be quite concerned.

When I was much younger, my mother and father both had a similar medical condition at the same time. They both had pneumonia. It's different than a brain injury, but it's still something the body needs rest to heal from. My mother took two weeks off, rested, got better and was fine in 3 weeks. Back to work and going 100 percent. My father continued to work until he cracked a rib at work while coughing and my uncle went to his workplace and refused to leave until he left to get an x ray. Even after confirming he had a broken rib, he kept working. His employees told me as a teen they wished he would take time off so that he could finally come back later on and be 100 percent. They worried about how much he was working and even though my father did the best to hide his struggle, we all saw it. His employees wanted him around, and also wanted him well.

He finally took time off when his workplace forced him to do so. By the time he took time off, he had to take three months off.

It took a full 18 months before he got back to 100 percent.

Perhaps instead of seeing this as time off, it is time to invest in healing from the accident and taking responsibility for what your brain needs instead of pushing yourself to the furthest extend of your limits, and possibly new dining even more time off over the long run. Using your already awarded sick and vacation time is a way to invest in a better future and being an even more amazing employee than I know you already are. It's not being lazy. It's being responsible.

 

[Friday]

Now I'm asking to NOT WORK and still get paid till my brain recovers since I'm still struggling.

This is exactly what medical leave is for.

I'm going to sit here and hope that it's worked in such a way as to not affect your sick days & vacation time, although some states insist that's used first, it varies state by state &/or you'll get more money that way.

The asking for money? Yes. That's also what medical leave is for. To no longer have to depend on a kind employer to "but of course!" pay your room & board & look after your family while you're off work, but codified into law that if you are going to run a company? Thou shalt treat your employees well. As a baseline. Period. 2 centuries past the start of the industrial revolution, people fighting, and demanding that faceless corporations treat their employees humanely, and not just use them up and discard them.

The physical training? Hon. You did not suffer a spinal injury. You suffered a head trauma. Your mind needs time to heal, but keeping your body healthy? That. Is. A. Good. Thing. If anyone is so daft as to think that you have to let your body degenerate, when it's perfectly healthy, because you have an entirely seperate medical issue? They can sit and spin (in the vast echoing caverns of their 3 celled brain). Add in the baseline fact that physical training helps your lifelong disorder, and helps you have even fewer accommodations & makes you a better employee? I'll kick them in their ass before they go sit and spin. Not that there aren't sanctimonious morons who have neither sense nor understanding, those abound, but there's ignorant, and then there's willfully ignorant, and anyone who is supposed to be halfway clever and cannot understand that someone who is taking time off for a neurological condition isn't going to be laid up in bed with the flu? Can kiss your ass.

<chuckling> All of the ^^^ is because I've had to be forcefully sat down and explained to by benefactors, that it is a straight up insult to them that they would ever even think of treating me the way I expected to be treated. That I am sick, and I am to take care of myself, whilst they take care of everything else. Far above and beyond what the law called for. Which has made me more than a bit WTF when I run into employers who scrimp, and scrape, and whine, and keep as much as possible from their employees... Doing the bare minimum required by law, or only following the law if forced.

Take the time. Get healthy. Kick some serious ass, woman :sneaky:

 

[joeylittle]

also DAMN IT ALL for misspelling the title.

Fixed.

Take the leave. Personally, I'd leave the PTSD out of the equation. You had a serious concussion and are unable to fulfill your responsibilities on a part-time schedule. Better to have a fixed date for full return to work with a better neuro status than to push along and possibly hamper a recovery.

I understand the guilt. But this situation you are in is what leave is for. Take it.

 

[VikVikViktorious]

I have no suggestions for you- I just wanna tell you that I feel your pain, and constantly flip flop mentally on taking an extended leave, quitting altogether, or keep on pushing on.
It is a rather difficult predicament.

 

[desiderata310]

Fixed

*blush*
Thank you.

 

[The Albatross]

Lots of good solid feedback here Des, I'm the worst one for taking time off when injured, but concur with all of the above.