Relationship Should We Stay Together Or Not?

[Mbg]

Hello, this is a very complicated story my bf (who has PTSD) have been together for 8 months. Everything started out great we never fought hung out everyday we get along great, it all moved quickly.

He has served in Iraq and Afghanistan and was also injured and had a severe brain injury. So there is a lot going on with him, then after we had been dating not even a month someone tried break in to his house and severely injuring him and causing another brain injury, so badly that he was not there was hallucinating and after many trips to the hospital they said he may not ever be back to normal, but thankfully a few days later he snapped out of it an was fine. So everything was all great again a little while after he started recovering.

He then started the process of stopping taking his medicine because it was highly addictive, this was a process and very rough on him and he would be very sick and ok again, but still we fought through it.

Then several other things have happened in his life, he was in a car accident where his car rolled several times, his bother almost passed away from a organ transplant. Now he starting to smoking pot, knowing from the beginning of our relationship that I did not want to be with someone who did that.

Lately he has been very distant and has shown a lot of the symptoms of PTSD and he tells me he is going through a very rough patch and smoking helps him, and that he won't always do it. Is it time for me to move on? We get along great other than that major issue because I hate it.

We have been so much and I have tried to be there for him. He tells me he needs to get through this time he won't do it any more. It's very hard because not only is he doing that but at the same time were not hanging out as much and he is acting distant and I can't tell if it's his depression or medicine or just effects of PTSD or the smoking. I'm so confused and we have talk many times about it and he tells me he is working on it and he doesn't want to loose me over it. When do I say when? It's already very hard with the PTSD and this for me ads a whole additional problem because I can't tell when he is acting one way is it because of PTSD or smoking.

Thanks for spending time to read my very long post.

 

[sessie]

Walk away, for now. If he stops smoking and starts getting some help and you feel that you could be in a healthy relationship, he can contact you and you could decide to try things again.

But for now, I think there's too many red flags and not enough reason to stay... If you'd been married with kids, etc etc, maybe it would be worth an extra try, but for 8 months and with a bunch of red flags? My blunt advice is to walk away...

 

[Mbg]

Thank you so much to the reply, it's hard because we will have a bunch of really good days in a row and it makes me think ok we can get through this, then he will start again, and everything goes the complete opposite way. I think you right it's just so hard to face it and accept it and it's such a sad reason for a great relationship to end.

 

[NaeNae75]

Only you can decide what you can deal with. The one thingI saw in your post is that you think he will get better and it will be done. That's not the case. He will be better for a while, until there's another trigger. It's cyclical. So if you can't handle a potential lifetime of this, than it's okay to go now.

Things will get better, but they don't stay better. My dad has PTSD, my sister and I do, and so does my bf of 5.5 years. He's in the middle of his worst cycle to date and hasn't talked to me for a week. It's extremely hard.