Six Ways to be The Persecutory Therapist *cue the thunder and lightning*

[ms spock]

Six Ways to be The Persecutory Therapist *cue the thunder and lightning* Link

I am having a very messy ending with my current psychiatrist.

 

[ms spock]

I am really attached to my psychiatrist. I have a lot of appreciation, gratefulness, and TLC for her. It has been a difficult therapy situation as I often felt unheard by her.

 

[ms spock]

My psychiatrist and I have been discussing her retirement since about 2024. She said once her practice building was demolished she would retire. This would be in 3-6 months. I have tried to get a referral from her. Which I finally got this week, when invoking a legal aspect of a fiduciary duty, also known as a duty of care. After delaying for a long time she was able provide two referrals.

The time of her retirement has continuously changed in a confusing and strange manner.

At one point the building could have been demolished within a month or so. The council didn't pass the plans. So that didn't come to pass.

Then she wasn't going to retire but she was going to go in with a couple of mental health professionals.

She said that she would work one day per week from another set of rooms. She said that she would have to change my appointment time. (Which is ironic because she had previously totally committed to changing my appointment time to enable me to attend classes. After four or five months I gave up asking).

After a great deal of uncertainty her time of retirement went back to she's retiring in 3-6 months again.

This week (when, at my wit's end), I sent her an email mentioning a duty of care re a referral, transitioning, a copy of my notes, and a report so I can make a claim on my mother's estate).

She finally sent me an email saying she would retire in about 18 months. This is the first time I have heard her mention that particular time span.

I think and feel that this meets some of the the article's criteria which is linked in the first part of this post.

It meets some of the criteria of "Intrusion," "Derogation," "Invalidation of Experience," "The Opaque," and The Untenable Situation". And all these criteria are met in my overall relationship between my psychiatrist and my self.

 

[ms spock]

My current psychiatrist has been transferring and transitioning her other clients. Two went really well. One went badly in a significant way. She's put a lot of time and thought into managing these clients.

I expressed my concerns to her about transferring to another psychiatrist. She told me that she would do a deep dive. And would find me someone good. That I could trust her. She would take good care of me.

If I brought up my concerns she would belittled me and denigrate my concerns. I tried to say there weren't many psychiatrists here and so forth.

I told her about a good psychiatrist last year. She told me we had plenty of time. I tried to get a referral from her. Last time I spoke to her I told her that psychiatrist has now closed her books.

When I mentioned duty of care indicating a legal framework. My psychiatrist was suddenly able to get referrals sent out over night. One of the referrals she sent me was for the psychiatrist who now has her books closed. That seems petty to me.

 

[ms spock]

My current psychiatrist tried to bully me into going to a GP, telling me I can access medications via her. I am on a complicated medication regime. She has laughed at my GPs lack of knowledge during the last decade. I actually stood up to her and said no. I don't know who was more surprised, me or her.

 

[ms spock]

If I brought up my concerns she would denigrated me and dismissed my concerns.

I tried to say there weren't many psychiatrists here and so forth. She is now citing "a lack of supply" as why she couldn't help me.

 

[ms spock]

My psychiatrist has done this to me before.

She has been delaying and withholding previously.

My psychiatrist kept saying that she would change our appointment day and time. Each time she would say "Don't worry about it. I will take care of it. I will take care of it and find you another time. We will fix this next times". She would say this at the end of each session. So I could attend these multiple Irish classes on a Tuesday. Which could lead some other options and chances.

The classes had the potential to provide me with a range of opportunities.

Progressing with my peers.

Graduating with my peers.

It could have included. a few hours of paid work. And an ability to grow a bigger social network.

I kept explaining this and she kept saying she would find another time and day for me.

After many months I gave up asking. I felt like she sabotaged an important opportunity for me.

I wish I had thought to cancel each Thursday for the Tuesday appointment until she found another appointment.

But I was too intimidated by her. The unequal power relationship left me at a disadvantage. And I felt overwhelmed by her. She would have goes at me that destabilized me.

 

[Movingforward10]

Gosh, I would find all that really destabilising.

I was thinking about the 'opaque' quite a bit when you were writing aboit her retirement plans.
I can understand someone's retirement plans changing as it is such a huge decision. But a mental health professional, I would expect them to know the impact all those changes would have on a client. And to be explicit and acknowledge the change, and invite discussion about how the change is impacting.

I don't see the referral being petty (of the person whose books are closed) but a other sign of her incompetence (that word might be too harsh to describe it but I couldn't think of another one - essentially , it doesn't read as deliberate more careless because there seems to be a theme of carelessness or adhoc-ness about her approach).

There is also clearly a disorganised element to her, which has impacted you . One example is not finding another appointment time so you could do the course. The constant promising and reassurance. And then failing to deliver. That is really very poor. And it sounds like she has never acknowledged that either, or done actions to change that. Of course you will give up asking.

I wonder how you can take your power back in this relationship?
Can you spend the next session making referrals together or something that helps you feel like there is a good plan in place for your ongoing care?

Whilst she now says there is 18 months, do you want another 18 months of this? Or a referral now to someone more able to be consistent and aware?