Have you tried applying for federally funded programs like Medicaid? They'd give you access to great facilities, doctors, mental health therapists and much more. Just Google Medicaid with your state and it'll take you through the application process.
I understand what you're going through because I've gone through a similar situation, except my step-father never made it to a courthouse or jail. My mother for the longest time, blamed the abuse on me, as well as my step-sister, and step-father. Plus, our family including my little brother and step-brother was completely dysfunctional. We were never safe, and even before them my biological father and my mothers ex-boyfriend after were violent and abusive towards us. It's a wonder why I did well in school for so long?
It's been over 10 years now since my sexual abuse with my step-father and step-brother, and yes, there is light at the end of this tunnel. There is for you too! I have a family of my own now too and am turning 31 and have mostly resolved my feelings about my deadbeat family. I don't know or don't care what my mom thinks about the situation now because she will most likely never understand. Some people are cowards, and can't admit where they went wrong, nor are good at helping or are nurturing. I think for mothers to do this to their children are just healthy or are sick in their head. So I hardly fault my mother any more because I feel that she is ill. I don't press my mother about the issue because I've taken back my control over my relationships with them.
Ive got my boundaries set up and am willing to defend them anytime. I will never understand them, but I've learned to love them from a distance, like at least 2000 miles away. As soon as I could, when I was 20, I left them and the state they lived in. I struggled and I still struggle, but not in the same way. Now I get "accidental" calls from my stepfather crying about how he misses me and wants to see and visit with me, and has things he can only tell me "eyeball to eyeball." I'm sure he does but if he cant tell me over the phone just as he would in person, he's hardly changed or believable. Ive got a healthy dose of "yeah right," and my instincts are always right. I hope you follow yours. I wonder if space will be good for you as it was for me? Just a thought. Anyways, back to my step-dad crying, that I believe is because of his lack of control, and I'm not sure whether its because he's truly sorry, or maybe he has been having "come to Jesus" moments, but I definitely won't step out on a ledge for him. I don't really care to see him at all, though I wish him blessings because I cannot be mad about his actions/in actions anymore. It only makes you run the wheel continuously in circles, and once you step out, let whatever needs to come up, and be strong for yourself, they will always have the control over how happy or sad you are. I hope that doesn't happen for you, but you seem to be Wonder Woman! strong, you'll make it through.
This is not your mess, even though you have to clean it up, sometimes all by yourself, but the rewards are so worth it. The happiness you can feel from being truly free from it, and how you can help it to affect your family for good and positive things instead of the negative. Take charge, know you're self worth make and enforce clear boundaries, and FORGIVE, forgive yourself and them even though their actions were despicable. You learn to forgive because it'll make you feel whole. If you liked this post, you most certainly can inbox me and I'm friendly and will always try my best to just listen instead of always adding my 2 or 10 cents. Lol! I bless the goodness of the universe towards you.
