Slash your tyres kinda woman

[Deleted member 44579]

You just admitted to a crime on a public forum. Slashing tires is a coward's way of retribution, no one can prove it was you unless you confessed, which you just did. Why do you feel the need to brag about your crimes?

It is sometimes useful to look at what is happening internally for us with our perception of things. You say it felt f*cking good. Do you know more specifically what was good about it? What did it say to you about You or Them. No pressure to answer.

Are you a shrink?... I know why I did it... If people would read why I did... Very clearly stated... Then you would know why.... Seriously

 

[Neverthesame]

I get the anger thing, I even get the desire to exact some sort of retribution on supportive who wronged you.
I even get the acting on it as you do.
What I don't get, is bringing it up here that you have knowingly damaged someone's property over a workplace interpersonal conflict, then becoming defensive when told committing vandalism is a poor way of managing your temper?

When asked then if you're just bragging, you say no.

I've thought of doing something like that to my bosses car. I don't do it because it's really unhealthy to feed anger that way.
What I did get to enjoy was hearing him whine about bad things that karma has done to his car over the years.
The time he got caught out in a hailstorm. The next day his car had more dimples than a golf ball.

A couple years after that, his wife accidentally backed into him, smashed up his front end pretty good.

Laughing about this was a healthier way of expressing my anger towards him.
Slashing his tyres.... is a crime.

If your means of venting your anger can put you in jail? You are not handling it in a healthy way.
What if he catches you? Will you stab him, or is that too far?
If so, why is that too far? What makes that a line not to cross, when vandalism isn't?

 

[Deleted member 44579]

I get the anger thing, I even get the desire to exact some sort of retribution on supportive who wronged you.
I even get the acting on it as you do.
What I don't get, is bringing it up here that you have knowingly damaged someone's property over a workplace interpersonal conflict, then becoming defensive when told committing vandalism is a poor way of managing your temper?

When asked then if you're just bragging, you say no.

I've thought of doing something like that to my bosses car. I don't do it because it's really unhealthy to feed anger that way.
What I did get to enjoy was hearing him whine about bad things that karma has done to his car over the years.
The time he got caught out in a hailstorm. The next day his car had more dimples than a golf ball.

A couple years after that, his wife accidentally backed into him, smashed up his front end pretty good.

Laughing about this was a healthier way of expressing my anger towards him.
Slashing his tyres.... is a crime.

If your means of venting your anger can put you in jail? You are not handling it in a healthy way.
What if he catches you? Will you stab him, or is that too far?
If so, why is that too far? What makes that a line not to cross, when vandalism isn't?

Ok it was years ago. I'm an ex police officer so I know the law, fingerprints , cctv cameras...... I think I shouldnt have started this thread cos all people are doing is telling me off and I don't f*cking care OK ... Public forum.... Blah blah blah.... I know....

 

[Neverthesame]

Then you know better than I do why it's wrong legally. But that's not what I'm on about.

No one's told you off. People are trying to engage with you on your thought process with this.
It's really more a mix a surprise and concern for you, than a desire to put you down.

 

[Deleted member 44579]

I was bullied badly by this person and others for months. They slashed my bike tyres... They cut my break lines... They made comments when I walked past... So how would you deal with that?... I did what I did for me. I don't care what some of you think.. Sorry but... To me it was justified.

 

[EveHarrington]

Wait, you’re a former COP and you do this stuff?!?!?

You’re not making much of a case for trusting the police right now.

We don’t spell “tyres” here with a “y” so at least I can take some comfort knowing we don’t live in the same country.

 

[Deleted member 44579]

Wait, you’re a former COP and you do this stuff?!?!?

You’re not making much of a case for trusting the police right now.

We don’t spell “tyres” here with a “y” so at least I can take some comfort knowing we don’t live in the same country.

Your not very nice are you?...

Wow, you really slash people’s tires?

Not only is this illegal, but wouldn’t it be better to stand up for yourself? Report it to your manager?

Well, I’m saying as opposed to risking a criminal record, court fees, fines, and so forth.

If you end up with a criminal record and fines, haven’t they still won?

Blah blah blah

Wait, you’re a former COP and you do this stuff?!?!?

You’re not making much of a case for trusting the police right now.

We don’t spell “tyres” here with a “y” so at least I can take some comfort knowing we don’t live in the same country.

Blah blah blah... Bullying behaviour eve.. You have a real problem with me don't you

You were brought up to victimize people?!?

You do realize what kind of population you are talking to here, right?

Seriously seriously.... U don't read the whole thing do you. Again nasty behavior eve

 

[digger]

@Xena @EveHarrington
As has been advised before on another recent thread

As a reminder: If you find a member consistently unhelpful, aggravating, or for any other reason... you can place them on ‘Ignore’
Any Q’s on how to do that, please use Contact Us.

This thread will be locked if it continues in the vein of throwing personal jabs at each other.

 

[EveHarrington]

I really don’t understand what you’re looking for by making this post.

Can you explain why you are saying these things?

What kind of responses do you want?

Do you have a specific question you want us to answer?

Do you want feedback on a certain aspect of your behavior?

It’s a bit puzzling as to why you made this post.

I think you’d get the kind of responses you are looking for if you were a bit more direct in what you want.

 

[joeylittle]

Well, @Xena - it's pretty clear you care what people on this thread think. Isn't it?

I did what I did for me. I don't care what some of you think.. Sorry but... To me it was justified.

Ok then. And I mean that sincerely. You made a choice, you believed it was justified. Sounds like you were aware of the potential consequences, and decided that it was still worth it.

People damaged your property, you damaged their property.

In absolute terms, your actions were 'wrong', as in, I'm assuming you live in a country where there's a legal system that we're supposed to use, not vigilanteism. But that isn't really what you're talking about, I don't think. You're talking about taking a bunch of hits, and tolerating them, and then not tolerating them anymore.

Your OP asks:

What kinda woman would you say you were. Me defo Slash your tyres.

I think that a person can sometimes be a tire-slasher, and other times be a peacekeeper, and other times be a mouse. And more.

In my own version of tire slashing - which had to do with stealing - I believed I was justified, and I had no regrets. Now, looking back on it, I know I wouldn't see the situation the same way, and I wouldn't make the same choice. But there could always be something else that comes along, and a reaction that I have that I wouldn't expect myself to have.

I really do think this:

It is sometimes useful to look at what is happening internally for us with our perception of things. You say it felt f*cking good. Do you know more specifically what was good about it? What did it say to you about You or Them. No pressure to answer.

Is the interesting thing to respond to. Do you think it was the power, or the adrenaline, or striking back? Did you decide in a snap, like a dam breaking? I'm sure it could be a million different things. Am curious about your answer.

And I'm wondering - it sounds like it happened a while ago (? is that right?) - is this still how you see yourself, as a tire-slasher kind of person? It does seem to affect you that you're getting some judging from folks... Is it how you want to see yourself?

What other kinds of selves do you have?

People aren't just one thing.

 

[Deleted member 47099]

This is an interesting thread/ question.

To me, it deals with the question of anger management.

From my childhood trauma/ PTSD, I've held a lot of anger of the years, rage even.

I've found it incredibly hard to get help for it, even in trauma therapy.

Our society makes a big taboo out of anger.

There are basically NO discussions about dealing with it in a healthy and realistic way.

People's responses are that anger is "dangerous and scary" and "please make it go away".

IMO that just pushes anger more into the realm of subconscious/ poorly controlled emotions, instead of us all admitting that we have anger and even rage ocassionally and honestly and openly admitting that most of us are bad at dealing with it.

Those ppl who just swallow down their anger or ignore it or turn it on themselves inwardly or who let it out in less visible and more passive-aggressive ways always seem pretty "proud" that they are handling their anger in less "obvious" ways than those ppl who let it out more openly.

IMO those are just as unhealthy anger-coping techniques tho.

I've asked a lot of therapists over the years how to manage anger well and even really good therapists were visibly scared/ uncomfortable/ overwhelmed with the topic of anger... Any other feelings... sure they had good coping skills for that... Anger? They were totally out of their depth.

 

[Deleted member 44579]

Closing this down...