General Sleep Deprived!

[Sighs]

We are now at 4 nights in a row with very little sleep... My vet (and I) are stressed by our impending move and a horse battling a hoof problem. He is renovating his house in preparation for sale. I am working full time, coming home and making dinner, helping him renovate and then sitting up with him because he can't sleep and needs company. I have a 90 minute drive to work in the mornings along country roads. I'm literally scared of falling asleep at the wheel I'm so tired.

During the day he will say to me - you need to get an early night tonight. But last night at midnight he was still up and every time I said I needed to go to bed he asked me to sit with him a little longer. Finally crawled into bed at about 12.30am. At 5am he started chatting to me about the weather and the horses. My alarm went off at 6.15am. Bleurghhh! I was a bit grumpy and he started saying things like - I'll understand if you don't want to move with me. I'll understand if you don't want to be with me any more. I reassured him that I love him and want to be with him.

We've talked before about him keeping me up and he feels bad about it but at 4am when he wakes up from a nightmare and feels so alone he can't help reaching out for some company.
I love him to bits and don't want him to stop reaching out but I need to sleep at least once in a while!

Fingers crossed tonight is a better night...

 

[Changing4Best]

You need to ignore him during your sleeping hours, let him get the message that you wish to sleep. Rest at the very least, if he is gabbing and you are trying to sleep, but don't let him do this to you! What if you did fall asleep at the wheel? You being dead won't help him! Think about it and have him think about it too. Then do what I say above, or chance an accident and the worst. Seriously! Be careful.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

He needs to stop depending on you at night when you need to sleep. I suggest setting up strong boundaries where he is not to wake you unless it is an emergency. He needs to work through these issues himself and stop making you his crutch. Is he in therapy?

 

[amethist]

I agree with Solara he needs to deal with his own issues where he can himself. Waking you and expecting you to be there for him very night is out of order.

My husband only gets me up to help him when he has had a severe nightmare/flashback, never if he just wakes up in an anxious frame of mind.

He needs to be told and made to understand that you will be there for him when its an emergency, but in-between if you don's sleep, you wont be in a fit state to help him.

So go to bed when you need to and stop sitting with him when its not really necessary.

Its not fair on either of you.